M31 and Wife 28. Currently working a job (military) that offers pretty good pay $175K with an awesome pension… only catch is you need to work that job for 20+ years to receive retirement benefits. Been offered jobs making $120-$140K if I moved back home.
Currently living 1000+ miles away from parents & friends… so can only visit them 1-2x per year. I have always valued family, so it’s been particularly hard the last 1-2 years.
Have 12 years left until I am at the 20 years.
Would you quit your job and move back home, or ride it out? Kids will be in the equation here soon…
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lol no. I’d take a pay cut to move away from them though.
But it sounds like we have very different situations.
There is no right or wrong answer here – do what’s going to make you happy.
Grass is always greener though – I would stick it out until you got your pension at least IMO.
No
Love where we live
Perfect for both our careers and our kids educations
Even my family wouldnt want us to move where they are
I mean 120-140K is still a great salary unless you’re going to a VHCOL area so I think it’s worth if you value family.
For me I’ve always lived near family which is fine but I wouldn’t mind getting away for a bit. Granted this is probobly something I should have tried much earlier in life lol
Definitely worth the pay cut. My wife and I, both former military, are doing the kid thing with zero family support nearby and it is extremely difficult and stressful. The families we know who have access to grandparents and extended family have it so much better. It truly does take a village. Going it alone was a poor decision.
I would take a pay cut to live near my parents if I had kids. Because they won’t have much time with them and every moment will be precious. Having the parents around to help support the kids will make up for a lot of the pay cut too.
If your parents don’t give a shit about their grandkids then this obviously doesn’t apply, but if they’re willing to watch the kids and help raise them then their presence will be extremely valuable.
I did. It’s the best decision. My city is good for my career, so I am not going on an unreturnable path.
Nah. You would be making a mistake. I know 12 years is a long time but future you will thank yourself for toughing it out
I always make sure I don’t live too close to mine but I guess it depends on the family 😂
Honestly my number one value is legacy. How will I reitre and how much will I leave my kids? I would never put my parents about that. I’d stick it out. Military retirement is a killer deal.
Nope, wouldn’t even be a consideration, but I didn’t grow up in a close lovely dovey type home either. I turned 18, graduated high school and then bounced, never looking back. If you’re close to your family then maybe it’s a good choice for you.
To get that pay at 8 years I’m gonna guess medical. Hi, I’m also in and I say it depends. If I am correct, medical can make money almost anywhere. For a guy like me, moving close to home means a 2-300% cost of living jump, which I cannot afford even with a good gig working for my current pay. It’s really up to you man, but make sure you have a plan in place before you make any big decisions.
What job are you doing in the military that pays $175k/yr at only 8 years of service?
I worked for whomever paid the most money. BUT with that said, I also wouldn’t move but So Far for money. We were at one point about 6 hours driving from family and that was fine. If it becomes a flight, then I wouldn’t have taken the job. Of course, I grew up not too far from Atlanta which is loaded with jobs/opportunities. So it was easy to get what my talents deserved without going too far away from home.
I’d take a pay cut to move away from my family…
Ha! Polar opposite for me.
I gave up an incoming $500K-$750K inheritance to never interact with them again and became a literal ghost. Even deleted my voter registration and the little I do online is completely anonymous now.
You have lunatics, and then you have these people.
No thanks…forever👍🏻
So you can retire when your kids are 12? Idk but that sounds pretty good as opposed to having to reset the retirement clock and work for another 25+ years.
How are you 8 years in making the equivalent of $175k? There’s not a job in the military that’s equates to that. I know GS13 guardsman pilots that are also 100% VA with less than 20 years that clear close around $175k total comp but that’s it. I think you’re overestimating.
To answer your question, if you value your relationships I would get out, move to an area close to family, join the guard and apply for VA disability compensation assuming you have any service related conditions you can claim.
paycut isn’t really significant. It’s doable to move back home. I’d do it in a heart beat.
Being near family does not mean your family will be involved. My in-laws are amazing and live down the street from us. They’re always willing to help where needed.
I have many friends in the area with their family who do not have that same mentality.
Nope. Gotta make that money.
Having grandparents in your chilldren’s lives (if they’re awesome) is a luxury no money can buy.
> Currently living 1000+ miles away from parents & friends… so can only visit them 1-2x per year
You really can’t visit more often?
What’s the COL living life? Is 140k back home actually worth more than 175k in your current place?
Depends how close you are to your family tbh. Is it important to you that your kids see their extended family a lot growing up or is that not a priority? I didnt have family in the same city as us growing up so typically saw cousins/grandparents like two or maybe 3 times a year. It wasnt awful but I do see some friends who grew up in the same city and they are way closer and sometimes Im a little jealous of it.
In general, I would take a pay cut if the outcome is I’m happier every time (as long as I can still pay my bills and eat, of course).
Yes. Happiness is a choice.
I would take the pay cut no problem.
Especially as kids become relevant.
Your kids will never wish you had earned a bit more money but if you raise them right they will wish they had time with family and loved ones.
Your lower salary is still very good.
Have your cake and eat it too.
I went from 120,000 a year to 60,000 a year. It was worth it for my kids and family. I do miss the money tho
Yes i would.
I like the buffer lol
I don’t think I’d even take a raise to move closer to family.
Hi, it’s me.
I lived in Nebraska when my friends and family were in NY. Now I live in Germany.
I tried my damndest to get NYANG. No dice.
Tried working in DC. No dice.
Germany popped up, wife and I said fuck it. Now we’re 9ver the hump for guar and will just ride out active duty.
Taking a paycut is hard. We earn well above our gross when you throw in health insurance and tax benefits. I gross just over $100k, but it’s more like $120k probably when considering those things. I probably couldn’t get a job on the outside making anywhere near that. But with this I can contribute a lot to retirement, take vacations with the family, and live a good life.
So it’s tough. Really tough. Again, over the hump, so we’re riding out the military regardless where it takes us.