So we’d been chatting and he seemed kinda sweet and everything, I arrive at his house and he didn’t even want to make small talk or watch something first, he kinda just started kissing me and at first I was really nervous because it’s the first time I have sex after my first relationship. I even went out of my way to pay for the condoms myself and bring my lube bottle.
I just wish he’d been more aware of my feelings because I kinda wanna cry now, I tried really hard to show I cared and I kissed him and stopped a few times to make romantic things like making out and just hugging each other when it was being too much. He kinda just stopped when I said it hurt and asked if I was okay, he didn’t even seem that interested and I had told him previously many times I needed to at least have some emotional part because I’m human and I have feelings. I don’t think that soft kisses or some nice words is too much to ask for… right ? I feel bad because I don’t feel that he even thought I was pretty, he just kinda wanted to have sex and that’s it.
I ended up bleeding and it hurts, afterwards we had sex I was tired but he just straight up told me if I wanted to go home I said that if he wanted me to and he just said “no, just asking” (he did that like 2-3 more times). He let me stay for 30min sleeping and I just got home, I really wanted to cry because I needed some aftercare but he didn’t even hug me, and I feel like I desperately needed that hug even if it sucked. And to top it all off he just told me by text that he didn’t really like what we did and didn’t find it “stimulating”. So yeah, now I just feel worse about myself… I have always been insecure but I guess this just solidifies my belief that I’m not someone physically attractive…
Comments
fafo, the kind of shit that happens when you don’t bond with someone
i know that situations like this can really fuck with anyone’s self-esteem, so you aren’t alone. but it seems like his treatment of you had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him being an immature person. it has nothing to do with how physically attractive you are, because physically attractive people can absolutely still be mistreated and not cared about during sex.
at the same time, i understand why this would leave you feeling hurt. he was careless with you, even when you expressed what you needed from him. i’m sorry your first time wasn’t what you thought it’d be. but you will have many other first times with people who are loving, gentle, and careful with you.
I am sorry this happened to you. Please take care of yourself.
Do you think you need to see a doctor for the bleeding?
He showed you his true colors, never talk to that man again and if you want an emotional connection you 100% deserve that and to say no to anyone who makes you feel otherwise. It’s YOUR body and if someone makes you uncomfortable in it you should not worry about their feelings. I would talk to someone if you can.
I think some of y’all internalize everything too much. This was nothing but a bad hookup. You weren’t ready, he just wanted to nut.
That’s literally it. It’s not some deep reflection of anything other than a bad social interaction.
Y’all gotta learn to properly label things and then let them go.