I hang out with a group of friends, and in which one of them is rather boastful influencer. She would talk about her wealth, trips, cars, boyfriends etc non-stop. Usually, the rest of us would just listen and not really take offence because she was just rattling off about herself.
Recently this friend snagged an extremely rich boyfriend and she proceeded to move into his multi-million mansion. She was so excited and posted pictures of the pool, jacuzzi, etc. She invited us to her new house and specifically said, “i want to invite all of your for dinner at my new house with my BF!”. The rest of us accepted the invitation and came to the house. All the wealth she told about really existed and her BF was nice. He didnt stay throughout as he had paperwork to finish in his room.
Soon it was dinner time. We were all hungry as it was quite a long drive to the mansion and suddenly my friend took out her phone and said, “Okay I’ll be ordering food and drinks from a nearby mart. Tell me what you want and I’ll get it delivered here.” I thought it was strange that she was ‘ordering food’ only then instead of having food already prepared for us guests by the numerous maids there. No drinks was served but we had to order them as well. The food came, it was cold and I just ate and didnt think much of it. The rest of the night was pretty much normal.
After we left, the friend proceeded to send us a text of the detailed break down of the cost of the ala carte dish and drink that we each ordered with a firm reminder to quickly transfer her the money. The first thing that came to my mind was annoyance! She gave us the impression that she would SERVE US DINNER AT HER BF’s MULTIMILLION MANSION but it just ended up with each of us paying for our dinner! What sort of hostess was she? I felt that her invitation was misleading. I wasnt expecting a 10-course dinner, but social convention would imply that at least some simple food and water would be served for the GUESTS and GUESTS would NOT BE CHARGED.
We transferred her the money and then I sarcastically texted in the group chat saying, “Oh wow, if I knew we were all paying for our individual meals, we could have met at a restaurant for dinner! I guess all that wealth in the house was just for show!”. Then I left the groupchat. Since that incident, I never hung around much with her.
AITAH?
Comments
NTA – When you are invited for dinner at someone’s house, it is assumed you will be served dinner. If the host is ordering out, they should inform you prior that you have to pay for your order.
NTA.
I wouldn’t have paid her either. Do you think her boyfriend knows that she is inviting people over to his house to show off and then charge them for food that I’m guessing she’s using his money for? Call me petty but I would have said something to the both of them about it and not just her.
Inviting me over to your dick boyfriends house and being a terrible host and making me pay for cold ass takeout food? Hell no. She wouldn’t have gotten a dime from me.
Yeah I’d be annoyed too. It’s one thing to order in but not even having drinks or snacks ready? Super tacky
NTA
If you invite, you pay. It’s that simple. Your ‘friend’ was rude and/or doesn’t know the rules of the game. Your situation proves again that money doesn’t mean having class: any well-brought up person would not dream of having their guests pay if they were invited for dinner. I guess her brain was fogged by all that money (which isn’t even hers, by the way). I understand that you were disagreeably surprised by the whole thing, but it’s quite amusing in another sense.
Nah, you’re not the AH. She invited y’all to dinner at her luxury mansion and then hit you with an invoice? That’s some next-level scammer energy. If she wanted a potluck or split-the-bill situation, that should’ve been clear upfront. You didn’t sign up for BYOF (Bring Your Own Food) at the billionaire bachelor pad .
bot
You were actually not enough of an asshole. You can do better.
Money does not equal class. Your former friend is shallow and disingenuous. You are well served to be done with her.
Influencers are a scourge upon society. If someone ever uses the words to influencer, thought leader, or reality star to describe themselves, I am looking for anyone else to talk to. Literally anyone.
And her BF will tire of her soon
NTA – If you invite someone for dinner it is clear than you are offering them dinner, not for them to have to order and pay for it themselves.
NTA. Touche. Nicely done. It was his money not hers and he will soon get tired of her.
Yea, I get the feeling this didn’t actually happen
Her bf’s wealth isn’t her wealth and you have to wonder if she is really as well off as she claims to be. The bf had work to finish up so he could not attend which happens.
But the sheer lack of class by inviting friends to dinner then saying she is ordering the food and drinks with no mention you were paying then telling you to pay. Classless and then some.
Pure Fiction
No. And your response was perfect.
Your ex-friend has no concept of basic etiquette. As the old saying goes, money can’t buy class. NTA.
It’s a yta for me.
Yes, inviting someone to dinner, ordering food and asking them to pay for it is tacky.
But making a passive aggressive comment in group chat about her wealth being only for show is rude. It also reeks of jealousy and entitlement. Her being wealthy does not entitle you to have her pay for you.
Also, it’s not unusual to be at someone’s house and when everyone decides to order food you split the cost, or at least offer to. I’ve never been in the situation where I was at someone’s house and we ordered a pizza that I didn’t offer to throw in money to cover it.
Maybe it’s all for show and they’re living beyond their means.
Maybe the BF was completing bankruptcy paperwork while you ate your cold food.
NTA. You did the right thing. When invited to dinner, you assume dinner and drinks will be served. Especially in a mansion with servants. Otherwise, why invite people over? Just to look? I don’t think i would have transferred money to her, though. She can pay for it herself since she likes to brag about money so much. I hope you’ve blocked this girl.
Why did you not address the issue when your friend whipped out her phone to order food? Why did no one think, I don’t smell dinner cooking, and ask the host what’s up?
And the ‘snagged a wealthy boyfriend’ comment doesn’t sit well with me. You have friends that are fishing for a rich BF? Birds of a feather.
Not somebody worth your time and it was certainly not a friend. When you are invited to someone’s house for dinner, they host it, even if it had been pasta, store-bought sauce and a simple salad. She’s ridiculous and lacks basic social skills. NTA