I don’t have any answers. When I was in my early 20’s I realized my mom wasn’t going to change so I had to change. I altered my mindset and my expectations. I grew more empathy about what she endured in life and I focused on love. In our case it worked well for the next 25 years.
Good luck!
This depends on how much contact you HAVE to have. Is this a phone call once a week? Christmas
dinner? Living with her?
For short term interactions have a pre defined idea of neutral topics to chat on – the weather, her dog – and a mental Bingo sheet of ways you think she might detail it. Have a cutoff of say 30 min and a reason you have to go. For something like a lunch, go to a public place and then you have a built in limit to how long you are together.
Like another commenter said, don’t argue
with her or try to correct her. Neutral expression, silence and maybe a vague “hmmm interesting” while you wait for her to wind down. Conversely if she converses on an acceptable topic give lots of attention and interaction.
When telling your own life, stay neutral. Don’t vent, don’t celebrate – go in knowing she can’t support you the way you want her to.
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I don’t have any answers. When I was in my early 20’s I realized my mom wasn’t going to change so I had to change. I altered my mindset and my expectations. I grew more empathy about what she endured in life and I focused on love. In our case it worked well for the next 25 years.
Good luck!
She’s just a person, but you don’t have to like that person. You just be respectful and polite and spend as little time as possible with her.
Let her have the last word. Turn it into a game. Watch her sputter as she has to talk to herself because you aren’t playing.
Once you push past the discomfort of just being in silence it’s kind of fun to watch other people try to figure out what to do.
Do you have to live with her? You don’t have to be friends with people just because they’re related.
This depends on how much contact you HAVE to have. Is this a phone call once a week? Christmas
dinner? Living with her?
For short term interactions have a pre defined idea of neutral topics to chat on – the weather, her dog – and a mental Bingo sheet of ways you think she might detail it. Have a cutoff of say 30 min and a reason you have to go. For something like a lunch, go to a public place and then you have a built in limit to how long you are together.
Like another commenter said, don’t argue
with her or try to correct her. Neutral expression, silence and maybe a vague “hmmm interesting” while you wait for her to wind down. Conversely if she converses on an acceptable topic give lots of attention and interaction.
When telling your own life, stay neutral. Don’t vent, don’t celebrate – go in knowing she can’t support you the way you want her to.
Don’t let her rob you of the experience of being a good son or daughter.