Me and my friends were chillin at 7/11 when some man asked me for some coins. I instinctively went to look for my wallet and gave the man some coins. When I looked back at my friends their giving me a dirty look which confused me. I often see the man collecting garbage to I guess sell as scraps. The way my friends looked at me is stuck in my head and now I feel guilty for giving him money. I don’t always give money to beggars this was just a very rare situation.
I was just in a too good of a mood to think about the possibilities the man could do with the little money I gave him
Comments
So your friends mean looks matter more than giving a beggar pocket change so he can eat? Is that what I’m understanding?
I think the problem isn’t that you gave someone in need money – it’s that your “friends” judged you for it.
I don’t think you should reflect on why you gave someone money and if that was a good decision. I think you should reflect on why your friends had a problem with you helping someone who needed it. Might be worth reconsidering who you spend time around.
Empathy is a good thing. Don’t lose it
What is up your friend’s asses and why are they upset you did a nice thing?
Remember that there isn’t anything wrong with empathy and kindness.
You probably made that man’s day a little easier. Don’t let other people change who you are as a person.
I often talk to homeless people and I remember telling my friend about it who couldn’t understand why I “would want to talk to tramps”.
Some people just don’t have the emotional intelligence to see people as people.
If you were my son I’d be proud
Hmm… it’s a curious thing. People’s reactions, I mean… Sometimes they just feel like a reflection of their stuff, not a judgment on you. You did a nice thing, and that’s all that matters. I just wonder what exactly was going on in their heads? Like, were they having a bad day, or something? It really doesn’s seem worth overthinking, does it? Just breathe…
You need to get new friends. If they are upset because you showed kindness to someone else, they probably aren’t the type of people that would show kindness to you if you were “down in your luck” or needed some type of assistance whether that be emotional, physical, financial, etc.
The actions that people show to those who are not perceived as “equal” is an assessment of a person’s true character
Huh?? Why would that upset your friends , weird
Your friend judged you for being kind? Like tf is up with that? Maybe look into the type of crowd you hanging around cause that is weird
I’d either find new friends or have a serious talk with them.. don’t feel guilty
You feel bad for giving change to someone in need? Don’t overthink it. That said, I usually ask what they like to eat from a nearby place and buy that instead.
Problem is, it’s not you. — It’s them, with their circle spending hours, hours & hours on end with phones on their hand with carefree judgement.
I would’ve given them the change regardless of the situation, educate someone & show them what is right.
You need new friends. You gave a fellow human money so that they might eat, how in the hell is that wrong? Jesus who are you hanging out with? That’s who I’m side eyeing. Not you.
I was kind of waiting for the moment you tell us why it was a bad thing? Generally my rule of thumb is I don’t give them enough to go buy alcohol but enough to buy food or water
I always give money when I can. I’ve been homeless, I know what its like.
Being homeless is the product of a failed system. Nobody chooses to be homeless.
You did a good thing. Whether they buy food or dope is up to them. They’re an adult and that’s their right.
You don’t feel guilt. That would indicate you believe what you did to be wrong, which doesn’t sound like is the case.
It sounds like you’re feeling shame because your friends treated you as if they believe what you did was wrong.
Get new friends
You regret helping people? All because your friends gave you dirty side eyes? What could you possibly gain from being ‘cool’ in front of your friends and not help the beggar because it’ll ruin the ‘coolness’?
You’re a good person OP, your friends tho? might need to find other people…Giving to the homeless is always a welcomed thing to do. Dont ever change :))
It’s your money. You get to choose how you “spend” it.
Some people see those who have nothing and beg as parasites that are making bank and stealing from people who can’t afford it. Others see unhoused people asking for money as an opportunity to help.
Be the person you want to be. And if your friends don’t support you being yourself, get new friends. Yours sound pretty greedy and judgmental.
He’s a grown man. You didn’t do anything wrong
Is this a serious post? You feel bad because your friends looked at you funny for giving somebody money?
I guess some people don’t like it when u give beggars money because it’s known that most of them will just use it for drugs
Let it go and keep moving.
Nothing really belongs to us, we are simply using it for the duration of our stay..
I basically save my coins to give out to people asking on the street, I’ll honestly never say no if I have a few bucks and someone needs it more than me
Your last line about thinking what he might do with that money, I just want to expand on that a bit because I get you’re thinking “he might buy drugs or alcohol” and to that I have to say, could ya blame him?
If the man takes that few bucks and manages to get whatever vice he likes with it, he’s gonna at least feel better for a bit. Old mates homeless. I’ve been there. Truly you can’t understand what its like until you’ve been there. Many nights I would for sure choose drinking over eating because it SUCKED being homeless man. You’re always on edge because you’re never really safe, you’re always uncomfortable, probably dirtier than you’d prefer to be. And the looks you get! From people like your “friends”. Soul crushing. You’d want to escape reality too if every moment was a struggle just to get by and everyone who looked at you had disgust and pity cross their face.
Or maybe he got to eat something. Do you know how many cans/bottles you have to collect to make enough for a meal? Or what it’s like eating scraps out of a bin. Or simply not being able to eat no matter how hungry you are.
Dude.
You did a kind thing. Don’t let a group of assholes take away your kindness. The world needs more of it not less
I once gave one money cause I was in a good mood. Immediately a sub teacher I knew at school, I was a high schooler at the time, saw me do it and smiled. I was embarrassed cause I didn’t want people seeing me good deeds.
Let’s say for a second they know what that guy will do with that money, why didn’t they tell you?
If the homeless guy wronged one of your friends, maybe they should have spoken up in private.
When you find out what the reason is for your friends giving you a dirty look, consider if this is what you want to surround yourself with.
Did you ask him why he looked at you like that?
I’ll be that guy.
You say he picks up garage but is he actually going around picking up garbage to put in the trash can or is he picking up scrap metal to sell?
Obviously I’m biased and I see nuances for almost everything. Picking up metal? None given. If dude is picking up actual garage and putting it in the trash can just to keep the town clean I would be more willing to give him money, though I would be conflicted. People will always complain whether they have one thing to complain about or 10 things to complain about. But when they only have one thing to complain about that one thing gets a lot more attention. There may be a point where he is the topic being complained about the most and is driven out of town. I’m not a fan of things that come along with vagrants but one vagrant who is actually a good person is better then a town full of litter. Often though vagrants tend to live in areas together and I would not be happy if i more started to come in.
It he is keeping town clean and isn’t causing problems or committing crimes against the people I’d have no problem calling my friends out. Something along the lines of “I just bought you a $2.XX drink. What am I getting in return?” And after they respond something along the line of “well I just gave him the coins from the change from getting our drinks because unlike you he won’t just ignore trash that he walks by infront of my house. When have you ever picked up trash infront of my house”.
Typically normal vagrant though, I refuse to try to help those who won’t even help themselves. Even those who do help themselves, well I still need to worry about myself. But then the nuances come into play ..
Please don’t refer to human beings forced to ask for help as “beggars.” Approximately 59% of Americans are one single paycheck away from being homeless, which means with one single shift in circumstance, it could be any one of us having to ask for assistance to eat or sleep in a safe place. And before someone says, “there are places these people can go” – shelters are often worse than the streets as far as violence and theft. It’s hard to get back up when life knocks you down, and these people are just like me and you – just trying to survive another day.
u got some dumbass “friends” bro, absolutely no reason to feel guilty about helping someone in need.
Ask your friends specifically what issue they took with you providing something to someone in need, out of the kindness of your heart. Their scramble for an answer might make you realize they aren’t good friends or people.
Seems like you’re trying to keep up and appearance. I’m over here thinking the beggar did something fucked up and he didn’t. Grow up
So you’ve got awful friends. It’s a them problem not you
your friends are asshole. tell them I said so.
I once knew of a man who was a pilot. Made 6 figures easy. He lost his wife and children in a cat accident, and it crushed him. He lost everything through depression. His sister went looking for him and after a month found him on the side of an abandoned gas station living as a homeless man begging for food. When a person is at that point, they are not dreaming of how to turn it around. They just want their next meal.
All this to say. How you treat the least of us is how God and others will see you. People can fall from grace. And who you surround yourself with is who you are or will become. I personally feel that if your friends feel that kindness and mercy are gross or unbecoming. You need new friends.
Look up “other-esteem” and codependency. You made a nice choice in helping someone out and then your friends shamed you for it. Their opinion is irrelevant to your actions
My personal philosophy is to help when I’m able. After I’ve given, I feel it’s up to the recipient how they use it. I also appreciate having friends who share a similar mindset about helping others. It might be helpful to reflect on why their disapproval bothers you and what your own priorities are.