am i weird or something wrong with me?

im 24M im gay af… i love men specially older men but my fantasies are little weird…
i love it if a man abuse me and treat me shitty and i always want to do whatever that man wants or order me…
not just in sexually way i always fantasized about being kidnapped and that person treat me shitty yet i would love them i would love to spend time with them also i love something includes blood…
like i want them to hurt me till i bleed (im scared of needles) so…
being abused and treated shjhitty by a man is always my love to go…
in future idk what to say to my future partner and idk if he into it i mean i know if the person love you he will treat you specially and lovely way but thats things i see it as lovely way in my eyes so i think there is something wrong with me
also i cant open this up to my therapist or can i?