being a south asian daughter is its own kinda trauma

it only gets worse in adulthood too. i don’t want any arguments about religion in the comments please

let’s start with the expectation of what men bring to the household compared to women. as a girl, i’m expected to both contribute financially and help out with cleaning/cooking. do the men have to do it? no. they get to do nothing after work. all ramadan i was spending my evenings cooking and cleaning after work whilst my brother was on his xbox all day

then we’ll move onto how brown boys have all the freedom in the world. they can walk around shirtless and stay out all night drinking. but girls? they get endless calls if they’re back from work a little later than expected. they’re told they have to cover their bodies even in front of their fathers and brothers because they’re nothing more than a sexual figure

now we’ll talk about how brown men are often applauded for marrying a white girl while the girls are forbidden from ever marrying outside her culture. i mean fuck, they’re slated for marrying someone their parents didn’t choose for them. if i came home with a white boy my parents would kick me out faster than you could say ‘white boy’. they think the best match for me is a second cousin who always makes sexual remarks

brown parents hate their daughters so much more too. if a brown daughter does something wrong she’s insulted for ruining the family’s honour. if a guy fucks up it’s because ‘he’s a guy, it’s okay!’ i am an outspoken brown girl and i am so hated for it. south asian elders expect women to not have opinions or desires beyond wanting to be a mom and a household slave

god forbid if a woman gets abused or raped, it is ALWAYS her fault. even if she was murdered or seriously hurt, she’ll always have done something to deserve it. if you think about defending her, you also dug your own grave

i could go on forever about my hate for the misogyny in my culture. it’s a living hell and i absolutely hate being a south asian woman outside of the food, music and clothes. before anyone asks, i’m a first gen living in the west. i am considering moving out but it can’t undo the years of trauma my upbringing caused