Much of what I like is due to my subconscious need to dominate people

I’m slowly realizing that my laundry list of things I like/don’t like are tied to my self-worth and how I like to be the dominant one in any dynamic. This isn’t a fetish post.

Couple examples;

• People who are physically more attractive than me are often hotter if they’re visibly autistic because that means I’m better than them in that regard

• I have a fetish for people humiliating themselves, which is probably why I’m obsessed with voyeurism, sadism, and seeing people piss/shit themselves

• I like seeing feminizing things in other people, but hardly masculinizing things. A man that can crossdress, softer facial features, etc. My mind implicitly associates over masculinity with competition, and femininity with submission.

• I like “pathetic” but still attractive men. Somehow men are both trophies and competition, and being with a pathetic man who’s into me turns me on so much.

• I’m obsessed with knowing secrets no one else knows because it puts me in a position to leverage/blackmail/humiliate them

Again this isn’t a fetish post. The deeper I think about it the more I realize that almost everything I like is tied to dominance. I don’t know if I’m a narcissist or if it’s just a sexual thing.