I think I’m a lesbian

I think the tittle is self explanatory lol.

I (20f) have always been attracted to women in some way but if I’m being honest I’ve never really had an opportunity to explore it any further than a hook up. Now that I’m getting older it just feels like a piece of me is… missing? In a way.

The only problem with this is I’m married, and I have children who are still very young. I feel like I’m going through a midlife crisis at 20. My husband (22 M) is a nice guy and while I have love for him I just don’t feel like I love him anymore. I want to be with women, I feel more attracted and emotionally drawn to them. I just don’t know what to do.

I feel like there is too much uncertainty to break up my family and put my children through that just because I THINK I’m a lesbian. I’m not sure why it’s taken me this long to question my attraction to men. Every man I’ve been with I hate cuddling, or touching them, or even kissing. Even when I consume porn I usually only focus on the women. I’ve slept with 2 women in my life and it was great but I’ve never had an actual relationship with one.

I guess I’m just sort of ranting? And maybe seeking advice from anyone who’s been in my position. I just hate how I feel everyday. I hate feeling like I have to pretend to be happy when I’m not. I also hate how unfair this would be to my children, I had them very young and I 100% realize that was my fault and no one else’s. Idk am I just supposed to stick it out the rest of my life for their sake?