Is it weird to be a virgin in your twenties?
Sorry if NSFW
I (19m) have never been in a relationship, and as such, am still a virgin.
I turn 20 later on this year and i’m just starting to realise that for some girls a guy not having any sort of relationship is a red flag, I just am sort of worried I will be at some sort of disadvantage if I did decide to start dating.
Thank you
Comments
Nope.
If the person isn’t okay with it, then they’re not right for you and you deserve better.
Also, I think there’s several factors that contribute to this type of situation being more common/normalized:
We had a global pandemic where we were literally encouraged to avoid each other physically.
Extreme cost of living crisis where we worry about not starving or being homeless. Financial priorities shifted to survival over luxuries and relationship.
Aforementioned COL crisis meant that a lot of us lived with family, parents or (a bunch of) roommates. It’s kind of hard (no pun intended) to fuck when your mom is upstairs making dinner.
All the above has created an extreme environment of depression and anxiety.
No not really, sex is kinda hyped. And you’re still relatively young. Maybe it’s a problem post 25
You’re only 20, not 40.
But it doesn’t matter
I (40m) was 24 or 25 when I chose to lose my virginity.
From here, you have only a few choices:
You have to figure out what kind of woman you want. I don’t mean what your lust tells you that you want. I mean what you desire.
If you’re looking for a life of hooking up, or being with many women, then it is a bad thing to hold back on that front. If you want the type of woman that has a lot of experience, then it’s very similar to the life of hooking up. You will need to have a much higher partner list than she would have.
If you’re looking for a woman that has little experience, then you’ll still need a few, to get a little more experience than her. But it’s not nearly the same. The idea here is to have more meaningful relationships, but not get into the hookup mindset.
If you’re looking for a virgin type of woman, then being a virgin yourself is great. Having a couple of previous partners before her might be good a little. But, being a virgin won’t hurt either.
The caution here is that there are also dangerous people out there. There are women that will seek out virgins, in order to be controlling. They will play on your pair bonding, in order to use you. Certainly not all will, but there are some that will. So, it’s a caution to be aware of.
No, it doesn’t matter
Just because somebody claims they lost their virginity, does not make them a ton more qualified/experienced.
Watch some videos, read up on it, and more than anything, care about how the other person is feeling before-during-and after, and you’ll be fine.
Nope
I lost mine at 20 and went on to have a very fulfilling and success 20s in that arena.
Nah, I met my first girlfriend when I was 20, and lost my virginity with her. Being a virgin in your 20’s isn’t a big deal. Just focus on finding someone you get along well with, and things will probably work out well.
Women who blather on loudly about qualities that cause them to feel contempt for men are terrible people and you will be happier if you can learn to not care about anything they think or say.
Being a virgin indicates that you probably haven’t been trying harder than average to get laid. I don’t have the statistics with me, but virginity is still extremely common at your age. You will want to be intentional about trying to have sex at some point, and it’s certainly helpful to start earlier rather than later if you can, but it’s not something to feel anxiety about.
Avoid pushing yourself to have sex with someone in circumstances you aren’t comfortable with. That can ruin your life. But do try to get yourself to comfortable circumstances within a few years. That will involve a lot of mistakes, but none of those mistakes are going to be about who you are as a person unless you act in ways that are inconsistent with your values. Don’t beat yourself up for not being a born Casanova, nobody is, modern women just have a lot of insane expectations of men.
Definitely don’t be too worried about it. I saw a post a while ago asking when it becomes a red flag to have never been with a woman at all, and the general consensus was late 20s (like 27 or later). Until then, nobody’s judging you because many people just forgo relationships so they can focus on school or starting a career at that age.
Not at all. You can’t ever take back your “first time” and I think it’s worth it to wait for someone you really love and loves you.
Not really. I don’t know your socioeconomic background but for a lot of people the transition from worrying about sex to worrying about money happens very quickly in adulthood.
What is stopping you from “deciding to start dating”? Most guys will have been thinking of nothing else since their mid-teens. If it turns out you are asexual you probably shouldn’t worry about it.
I was 22 when I lost my virginity and I had my first real girlfriend at 26. I’m currently sitting next to my gorgeous but pain-in-the-ass wife as our wonderful but pain-in-the-ass kids play at our feet.
You’ll be fine. I recommend you start dating sooner than later though to learn how to be in a relationship and what you like and don’t like in a partner. But you’re definitely not up against the clock here.
Last thing: when thinking about your long-term relationship prospects, you’re always better off working on improving yourself than panicking about things like experience level.
No. You will lose it soon enough. Never be ashamed of it.
No. I have friends with 50+ bodies and 2 who are virgins at 25 waiting for the right person, both of whom are handsome and could have sex if they wanted to. Your happiness is most important, learn to be happy without a woman in your life and you’ll attract a better partner.
Depends if ur only 19 turning 20 its ok, just be ready when u do it, it might be bad sex cuz that is for most ppl when they do it for the first time
if it doesn’t bother you and you’re only bothered by what other people think, don’t worry about. most people don’t care and if they do, they’re weird
Keep your head up. There is a huge difference between a virgin and an incel, it’s just fine to be a virgin but don’t let yourself make it your whole world and become an incel.
Sex is a wonderful part of being in a relationship but even if you met “the one” tomorrow and spent the next month in the sack, eventually you’ll have to come up for air and pay the electricity bill and shop for tires and live life with this person.
If you want to catch someone worth having, be someone worth having. Be a good friend, not just pretending to be one because someday maybe you’ll get sex out of it. Be safe to be around, be trustworthy.
Take care of yourself, not just hygiene and eating at least not horribly but have hobbies, have things to talk about.
I didn’t lose my virginity til I was 24 but I’m (in the words of my Best Man at my wedding) “an odd duck”.
There are an incredible number of people in the world. I promise somebody will be interested eventually but if they never meet you how will either of you know?
Not really but if you are worried about id just lose it to a hookup instead of waiting for a relationship
Save the worry for your thirties.
It really only matters to you if we’re being honest..if it makes you feel weird then change it. Being a virgin or not usually isn’t a prerequisite to having sex (unless it’s some save yourself for marriage type of thing). For example, if you’re about to fuck and by some chance the girl finds out you’re a virgin it’s not like she’s gonna stop and say nevermind. Odds are she’ll take pride in being the person to take your virginity and would try even harder to give you a memorable experience. If it bothers a person that you’re inexperienced than I’m assuming you’re in the beginning of a relationship with that person (cause if not then what the fuck does it matter to them anyways) in which case it kinda falls on them to get you caught up, or to leave you. If it’s the latter than I hope you understand they did you a favor because people like that aren’t worth it in the long run
So yeah, the only thing that matters is how it makes you feel.
You got this bro, if you are gonna try and change it just don’t make it the main focus of your night or whatever. Just be yourself, have fun, don’t be a creep, and the rest will follow.
Doesn’t matter at all, it only matters to you because of some insecurities and it being an unknown to experience. It’s not an unreasonable age to still be a virgin, and far better to lose it with the right person. I don’t think any girl worth your time would mind being your first, and moreover telling her will mean she’s a whole lot more understanding initially too.
There’s no special virtue to being a virgin, and there’s no special virtue in not being one. The most I got from having sex for the first time was realizing how underwhelming it is after a lifetime of it being hyped up by everyone around me, >!and this stupid T-shirt.!<
It can adjust your attitude towards sex, which in turn might change how you think of and interact with your sexual partners (ideally in a good way!), and that’s about it. Anyone who rejects you on the basis of your virginity alone isn’t worth your time.
It’s a social construct
Nope youre doing good buddy altho try to fuck someone before you’re 40. Otherwise they’ll make a movie out of you !
no, im 27 virgin
Just don’t let it get too far into your twenties, people start wondering if there’s a problem with you, not saying there is but that’s jus the way people’s subconscious works to simplify the world.
You good. I didn’t have sex until I was 22 when I got married. Happily married and in our 30s
Not at all. Sure sex is great but there’s nothing wrong with still being a virgin. And honestly to most people worth dating and it really won’t matter. If a woman doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you simply because you’re a virgin then they’re not worth it. And may surprise you but just because someone is no longer a virgin doesn’t mean they’re good at sex. Plenty of people that have lost their virginity but are absolutely terrible in bed.
Also you’re only 19 turning 20 soon so still very very young. Yes you may not have been in a relationship yet but then let’s be honest how many 20 year olds have actually been in long term serious relationships? Not many i reckon. Remember teenage relationships are very different to adult relationships and typically not that serious.
What I will say being a virgin will only be an issue if you let your insecurities get to you. Don’t let it consume your whole world and most importantly don’t rush into a relationship just to have sex. Sex is great but it can also lead to consequences like unwanted pregnancy etc. Not to mention there’s far more to a relationship than just sex. So when you start dating people make sure it’s someone you’re actually interested in to spend time with and not just someone you simply want to fuck.
No my friends in their 20s are virgins and they are all dateable.
I lost my virginity at 24. It’s one of those things that feels super important when you are a virgin but once you are past that stage of sex being very new and exciting it becomes unimportant.
Don’t rush it, it’ll happen.
You’re a person first and foremost. Don’t worry about labels so much and just live your life 😊
I was a virgin until my 20s. It made no difference. I’m happily married, and have a job that pays the mortgage. Losing my virginity had no effect on either of those.
Just lie. I do, but regardless people think I’m not a virgin for some reason lol
No lol