A few hours ago my girlfriend checked my tik tok shares where she saw the video of a girl dancing, I shared it by accident and she says she believes me but she noticed that she doesn’t, now she talks to me differently and even though she says it’s fine, I know it’s not like that, how can she fix it?
Comments
Old people don’t know what the hell to do with a problem like this – sorry bro
I’m 38 years old. I have no idea what you just said.
Umm, why do you think she has to be the one to fix it? You BOTH need to talk it out. She needs to tell you why she’s so bothered and you need to reassure her that you only have feelings for her. Sit down and talk!
I don’t use TikTok but isn’t the point of that app to share videos? Is it a video you shot yourself of a girl dancing? If so, who’s the girl? Are you not supposed to have contact with the dancing girl? Or is it just a generic girl but you’re not allowed to share videos with the female sex in them?
I need more information.
Lots of missing context here… just a dance video, you’re likely struggling with anxiety.
Porn dancing etc, could be tricky for some.
Illegal shit, hopefully she reports you.
It’s also really hard to accidentally share something…
Break up with her. If your gf gets upset over a video on tiktok, she’s insecure and shouldn’t be in an adult relationship.
What? Say it again but differently; I’m old.
I don’t understand what you mean when you say “How can she fix it?“
You didn’t mention your ages or how long you’ve been together; I have concern about her reaction to such a minor thing.
Will she continue to act differently each time she feels insecure about either herself or the relationship?
It’s passive aggressive and manipulative to say “I’m fine” but to act in a different way and not want to discuss or admit an issue.
If she’s not willing to talk about it with you, there’s nothing we can do to help you.
The only advice I could give is watch her actions from here on out. Not her words. If her actions show she’s more pulled inwards, less affectionate, wants to spend less time with you and so on, she’s probably checked out of the relationship.
If that’s happened, and she still refuses to talk about it and insists everything’s fine, you need to end the relationship. Because it’s already died in her head somewhere. And she won’t talk to you about it.
Give her some time.
How old are you, how old is she, how long have you been together?
Bro, know when to give space. Idk her so I can’t say for certain.
But, some women I’ve been with might take a week to process, some might process more internally, versus others will communicate assertively. Some of them it was definitely affected by their cycle. Regardless, for a time, I’m definitely going to be aware they’re in a huff, even if it was an innocent misunderstanding and they know it on an intellectual level. Respect the person by backing off.
Another way to see this: don’t be codependent and that includes don’t be emotionally enmeshed.
Another angle: don’t catastrophize. She’s huffy. It happens, if you’re in a long term relationship both of you are going to get pissed off with the other on occasion. ‘Save your relationship’ is a bit extreme. You’re going to need to learn some perspective and keep your reactions proportionate.
Note: I’m not making assumptions about info you didn’t state, so, I really can’t have an opinion on exactly how offensive your actions was or wasn’t. Eg what the rules of your relationship are, and exactly how suggestive the video was, are relevant to how intensely one might expect her to react. It would also be extremely relevant to know whether she has some sort of prior trauma, or you have a pattern of behaviors that offends her. I’m not addressing any of that, just offering my own take on how you could handle her mood at the moment after what you’re saying was an appropriate apology and conversation about the incident.
A couple hours of her being in a mood is something I would advise you to learn to take in stride.
She’s acting/talking like she needs space from the situation to process her feelings about it. Respect her needs by not continuing to bring it up to her. If you did something that hurt her, own up to it and work to rebuild trust. If you didn’t, be supportive while she’s processing or until one of you decides it’s time to move on.
Why do you think she is mad that you posted that particular video?
> it’s fine
A lot of times that means “… because I no longer care”
Sorry. How to fix? Stop wasting your time on someone who isn’t really that interested in you.
Why be with someone who is like that?
Easier lessen to learn young than old. End it & be single. No reason to date before high school’s over. Focus on school.
Can you give more context to why sharing a TikTok of a girl dancing is causing a problem in your relationship? Is it someone you know?
Based on your post alone I’d say this relationship is toxic if you can’t have the autonomy to post or share content as you wish as long as it’s not something that is x rated or offensive in some way. I am in my mid 40’s and share vids all day long with friends and coworkers, even those of the opposite sex. My husband does the same. It’s entertainment and fun to have someone to laugh with. No big deal.
This relationship sounds too fragile to be saved. If she’s insecure and doesn’t trust you, there’s nothing to be saved.
If she’s jealous of a video- you need to run.
If your girlfriend is this fragile about fucking TikTok, imagine when a real problem occurs in your relationship.
Tell her to grow the fuck up.
If your relationship is in jeopardy because of a shared picture not involving nudity, you’ve got bigger problems than pictures of girls dancing.
You are sharing videos of girls “dancing”, take the L. Your girl knows you have a straying eye and the secret “you” is out. Let her go. She can’t trust you and maybe she shouldn’t.
(M64) Let me try to understand this. You were in YOUR cellphone, and your gf snatched it out of your hands with a spiked wiffle ball bat of sponges… And saw that you shared a picture with The World Wide Web of another woman…dancing. correct? RUN!! Do this NOW!!
But you are actually serious about this, I guess. Explain it to her this way. You are contributing to making TisTos what it is today. All you did was just shared it with The Guys. Are you sure that’s all you did? You didn’t throw in a comment along with that share?
I guess your gf doesn’t want you to be social on Social Media. Do you have IG? My IG USED to be years ago all about graffiti…not any more. It’s all women, good looking women, GREAT looking women. They have in clothes, though sometimes I wonder why they even bother.
My gf, all 41 years of age, asks me all the time what am I looking at when I’m on my phone. I TELL her women..look, see. I showed it to her. She got semi-angry the first time, I ignored her. But the second time, I told her to knock it off. Now, she looks at it with me, asking me where can she get the clothing the woman is wearing. How the f*ck do I know, follow her, then ask her.
Your relationship is okay. But the worst thing you said was you shared it by accident. Be forwarned… She might one day come and tell you that she is almost pregnant…Stands back and watches your head explode.
She’s an energy vampire and a controlling one at that. Bro, don’t fix anything. Run and find someone who does not feel so threatened by a share on social media
This isn’t a relationship you want to save. She’s pissy because you shared a video of a girl dancing. Its ridiculous.
You can’t fix it. You did it. She felt a certain way about it. Apologize and move on. She will either accept the apology or she won’t. You have no control over that. If she doesn’t accept your apology, don’t grovel or keep apologizing.
You may not be able to fix this. What it comes down to is you’ll have to decide what’s important to you in life.
If you aren’t looking at stuff like that, you aren’t sharing stuff like that. A lot of people are sorry — that they got caught. Just don’t do it in the first place.
If you want her, you have to be the kind of boyfriend she expects and deserves. If you don’t want to or can’t do that, then you two shouldn’t be together.
Insisting that she reassure you – when she is clearly irritated – is not helpful.
Pressing for a conversation she doesn’t want to have, makes it seem like you think this is a big deal. If she really has a problem with you watching a girl dance – you need to let her sort that out. That is normal/harmless behavior.