A lot of the struggle is not really having anything I can look up to myself for doing, I dropped out of highschool when I was 16 years old, I didn’t really do anything to better my long term prospects for the next four years after, I only worked part time minimum-wage for some of that time and that’s it
Things started looking better when I started studying for the GED once I was fired from work, I managed to find a full time job that was paying a little bit more then minimum even, so for the next 5 months I manage to pass, and save up some money while I waited for my first semester to begin in January
There’s a history of mental illness as well, I was listed as having depression along with ptsd in a neuropsych, I started school in conjecture with psychotherapy using the money I saved up, but it was a horrible idea in retrospect to rush into both at once like that, I still don’t really have a sizeable amount of coping mechanisms or even just everyday life skills to be a full time student again
I’m guaranteed to fail one of my classes now, and one of my other classes has a very good chance, I was going to continue into the summer to help catch up since I started in spring, taking off a semester and retaking a couple more courses bugs me, even if I know it’s the best choice for me
Being 3 years behind as well just stings, I’m starting to feel less of a adolescent who had some hiccups and a lot more like a young adult who’s persistently dysfunctional, and will likely keep that trend going, even if you think it’s stupid I can’t shake off the sentiment
It’ll be my 21st birthday in a few weeks, I don’t particularly have anything else to show off, I don’t have a license, I still live with at home, completing a semester was supposed to be my big first adult milestone to celebrate, and I still blew it
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happy birthday!!!!!
Don’t be so hard on yourself dear. I’m going to be 29 this year and just started pursuing a license for the career I’m in. I applied to the program but had to back out because due to my mental illnesses I am most likely going to fail all 4 of my classes. I am in too much debt and had to move back in with my older brother who doesn’t charge me rent because I’m constantly drowning financially. Despite all that, I am still actively trying to better myself. I am taking things one step at a time, the important part is that I’m trying. Life is full of setbacks and struggles, but if you keep trying things will get better. There is no set timeline of when things should happen. You’re doing fine.