As the title says.
I was never a liar, more of the opposite. I only ever lie by omitting things that would upset someone or by doing something I don’t enjoy so someone else feels better. Sometimes to protect myself, but I prefer to take the responsibility on myself.
I just don’t understand why people think everything I say is a lie. It’s starting to be too much. I can’t say anything without people not believing me. I just want someone to believe me.
There’s only one person who mostly believes me. It’s my boyfriend. But he also sometimes just says I’m not right about myself.
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Can you give an example of the things people think you’re lying about?
I’m sorry you’re feeling this. There isn’t enough context here for me to give much more than general advice (you placed this with the tags of friendship) but I did want to ask the question when do you remember first not being believed ? If this was something big and important early on in your life, it might have created an attachment wound that makes you hypersensitive to perceived disbelief now. (For example, coming forward as a 5yo to your mother to state that you had been inappropriately touched by a relative)
That hard question aside, I’m going to focus on friendships. I’m neurodivergent and socially awkward – not diagnosed until my 40’s. My masking formula was very successful – be curious, be ‘other’ focussed. Humans like attention, talking about themselves. Instead of sharing your stories or experiences (until a rapport is solidly established), get intensely curious about their interests, how they perceive the world, what they hope for in the future, why they love Taylor Swift. You don’t have to love Taylor Swift, but you can “try on their glasses” and see the world through their eyes.
Approaching every interaction with curiosity expands your own mind and viewpoints – and casting a wide net means you will meet “your people” one day.
I had a friend in the military that none of us believed anything they said ever. Every story they told seemed like complete BS. One day I connected the dots on a particular story they told and a picture on their Facebook and figured out that they were only telling partial truths, or just greatly exaggerating everything.
Example: “I’m a licensed small engine pilot”
Reality: They had a friend that let them take the reins of a plane once.
Would you say this is something you do often, or is your situation different than this?
It sounds like your parents not believing you when you talk about science is a Them Problem, not a You Problem. Their approach to science, especially something like evolution, is firmly rooted in faith and deeply held beliefs. For them, holding to those beliefs is of vital importance and is a very different thing than them not believing, say, that you stopped for milk on your way home or something more mundane.
Roommates are gonna roommate. You were sharing your experience, she was sharing hers. I think instead of hanging on to the fact that she didn’t believe you, you approach the problem with the internet in a collaborative way, you might have better luck.
And it’s your BF’s job not to believe the negative things you say about yourself. If he thought you were a bad person, why would he be with you? And why would you be with someone who did think you were a bad person? He sounds supportive and caring. But if you keep saying bad things about yourself, eventually he’s either going to get tired of it or he’ll start to believe you, and either way, that will be the end of your relationship.
Please also note the phrase “lie by omission ” failing to disclose important things, especially those you know would want to be known, is a form of lying. And once that is discovered, trust can be fractured. If someone would actively hide information, what’s to say they wouldn’t take it one step further?