Some people have this unexplainable effect where others—whether friends, coworkers, or even strangers—feel an instant sense of trust around them. Without even trying, these ‘safe-space people’ get others to share personal stories.
Is it their listening skills? Or is it just a natural gift some people have?
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I think some people exude honesty and they are on some kind of wavelength…
I’ve been that person for a decent few. I think a lot of it comes down to a calm and non judgemental demeanor but also not injecting yourself into other’s stories when they need to vent. Asking just enough questions to help guide someone’s train of thought if that makes sense.
Wholesome husky memes help.
No idea. But I wish I knew. Everyone feels like it’s okay to trauma dump, open up, tell me their deepest darkest secrets and I have no idea why. It’s always been this way.
It’s not even just trust. People confess things to me then run away like a scared toddler. Why would you confess something to me if you didn’t feel safe 😐 I’m more curious to know why other people end up spilling their guts at random.
As someone who has had people randomly open up…
It has a lot to do with honesty.
Relaying energies and whether or not the conversations ever deepen even if it’s not about personal things.
I’ve also experienced this. Opening up to a random.
It takes a certain energy of positivity or relatable subjects to really make someone feel as though it’s okay to dip their toe in.
Complete strangers will tell me their deepest thought after five minutes. I’ve always been more of a good listener, but have no idea why so many people unburden themselves to me. I must radiate some trustworthy or wisdom vibe.
They are non confrontational and neutral which makes them non judgemental and they just listen. They understand both sides of an issue and can mediate.
I have been that person for quite a few people. I have no idea why. I am kind and patient, that might be why.
Im this person atleast for my family. I am a very empathetic person and can see things from others perspectives. I can be very validating and supportive without coming off judgy. Despite being the one people confide in, I didn’t have anyone I felt I could talk to. I went through a lot at a young age and I know what it’s like to be in a low dark place. I didn’t have a safe space. But if I can be the safe space for other people that makes me happy. Cause then I know they atleast have one person to talk to. And having one person can really impact your life.
I’ve been that person for a lot of people ever since I turned 16/17. I apparently have a “vibe” that makes people trust me, I guess?
They’re accepting.
Doesn’t mean they don’t have their own opinions and still form loose judgments, but at the end of the day they maintain a certain neutrality that lets everyone around them be themselves and express themselves without fear of rejection or judgement.
For me, it’s a combination of having very good pattern recognition skills, which allows me to very systematically help people connect any dots they may not have yet connected about their mental patterns based on how they compose the specific words they are telling me about their experiences, combined with me simply genuinely caring about others’ well being, and finding it very rewarding to help others with whatever they are going through.
Listening skills are indeed a big part of it for me- specifically, I engage in active listening. I pay close attention to what someone is telling me, and then I’ll say something like, “Thanks for sharing! If I understand what you’re saying correctly, it seems to me like you’re saying (paraphrased version of my understanding of what they told me). Am I understanding what you’re getting at when you say this correctly? Feel free to let let me know if I’m misunderstanding anything you’re conveying.”
Usually, the person either states that I am spot on with my understanding of what they told me, or they’ll say, “Hmm, not quite- it’s more like (further explanation of what’s on their mind).”
It’s a very compassionate approach, and it’s also very formulaic. This ensures not only that I hold space for them, but it also ensures as accurate of information exchange and understanding as possible, and fosters a sense of making the person feel genuinely heard and understood by me without fear of judgement or pressure on my end. I let them lead the way, with me actively listening to their lead. I refrain from providing my own advice or perspective unless it is specifically requested of me- my approach generally involves working with their own thinking, goals, and intentions, with me reflecting their own process back towards them to foster a greater understanding of their own thought process and feelings. Even though I am mirroring their own mental processing back to them, the other person often does not notice this, and thinks I’m the one coming up with all these insights. I remind them that I am simply actively listening to what they are telling me, reflecting it back to them to ponder about further, and emphasize that it is their own strengths and insights that deserve credit, fostering them to believe in themselves and their ability to meet their goals and needs through their own intrinsic volition.
It’s both an art/natural gift, but there is also very much a precise science to it that can be learned systematically as well. I combine both my intellect and analytical skills, as well as my compassion and empathy, to facilitate this sort of thing for people.
I don’t know but I love it. It helps a lot working in psych. And I’m nosy.
In my experience, it is being an active listener and actually caring about the person speaking even strangers on a human level. For family and friends it is that they know that the can talk freely even if I disagree with whatever they are talking about or just see it differently.
People who Need to open up understand that doing so is a vulnerable out pouring. What is the last thing you want in said situation? Judgement. You do not want the vulnerable You to be shit on. Equally important, you don’t want someone Hungry for that from you. Hungry for hurt, hungry for dirt. So you find a rock that your river can wash over and not be taken or polluted by while you let it crash and run the the course it has to. Usually someone handy at the time, willing to listen, and without a horse in your race other than your well being or the desire to not have snot on them. Though I will say some people And you can usually tell the type, will offer up their history as an excuse to as why they are about to behave like trash. Draw the line at Hello.
Eh close enough, welcome back Archivist
I don’t know. I basically never talk at my current job and everyone loves talking to me so much and telling me whatever thing is going on with them. I think my silence is inviting?
Some people just have a natural ability to make others feel safe. It’s partly their vibebut a big part of it is their listening skills. They’re genuinely engaged, don’t interrupt, and make people feel understood. It’s a mix of being a good listener and having a natural warmth that invites trust.
I wish I knew! People tell me their secrets or problems all the time. I sold a pair of motorcycle gloves on Marketplace last summer. Within minutes of the buyer arriving, I knew what she did for a living, where she worked and that she was in a complicated relationship with a co-worker. She told me about his complicated relationship with his ex and how she often drove by her place and saw his car there. She even discussed their sex life. Thirty minutes later she said, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this.”
I think people get a sense, from others, that they don’t judge.
If someone could tell me so I could start doing the opposite, so strangers leave me alone instead of telling my all their trauma and deepest secrets I would appreciate. Maybe I should ask for money at a therapist fee.
I think it’s less about the other person listening and more about the sharer struggling with their own emotional regulation and boundaries.
From my experience, these people don’t care who it is. They will share their deepest, darkest secrets to whoever is willing to listen. And for a while, I was an easy recipient for them.
Until I learned my own boundaries and how this degree of emotional intimacy is highly inappropriate when you just met the person, I often felt like a trapped host listening to an emotionally draining energy vampire.
There was nothing honorable or noble about being a listener to an energy vampire. They’re selfish people and they’ll move on to the next victim once you inevitably grow exhausted by their endless monologues.
Coveted qualities like honesty, authenticity and active listening need to be protected. Don’t just dole them out to anyone. Because not everyone is deserving of a listener. And I for one have been taken advantage of for it. Now I reserve it only for those that have proven worthy for me to listen. Not just for some bimbo who can barely keep their life together.
So simple and yet so real
Some people just simply have kind eyes/faces. You can tell a lot about a person by eye contact and body language as well imo within a short time meeting or observing. I dont open up to people too often but I do to those I perceive as safe by instinct.
I’m 1000% this person and honestly it’s partially intentionally cultivated. A lot of eye contact, nodding, acting like you’re in on a little joke with someone, seeming a little bit seasoned or jaded…. Everyone will tell you everything lol. I think you either have to have the character to back it up, aka being actually deeply understanding (me) or be able to fake that (manipulator).
I’ve always liked to say I have a “confess your sins” face. In a different era I definitely would have chosen to be a nun somewhere to avoid having kids. Something about the way I look just says “this person won’t judge me, they have other things to do”