my mom (F45) says i (F21) spend too much time with my boyfriend (M24) and don’t value family. is this accurate?

hi everyone. so i actually recently moved back in with my mom and my sister, about 1.5 months ago. i lived away from them for almost 3 years because my mom wanted me to move out but then i came back.

i recently got a boyfriend, a couple weeks ago. we’d been talking for about 1.5 months before we became official. he lives about 45 minutes away. we’re really crazy about each other and i see him almost every day. some days he drives to me but
ive spent 4 nights over at his house so far; the first two nights i worked, went to his house, came home in the morning, got dressed and went back to work. this weekend i then went on a little road trip with him and stayed with him friday and saturday night.

my mom started lecturing me because she doesn’t like how i’m “obsessed” with him and i don’t value time with family anymore. i explained to her that this is a very new relationship and we both just really like each other and want to be around each other.

i’m very used to my independence… i didn’t visit often when i lived on my own either. she said she thinks i don’t respect the family anymore and i never want to help out or spend time together. i don’t really do much in the house, though, i just come and go from work, school, etc.

she also said that i am using her as a free pet sitter. i have one cat, and she has 3 cats and 2 dogs. when i am leaving overnight i always make sure that my cat has a full food and water bowl. when i come home in the morning i check it again. when i left for 2 days in a row i asked if she would just make sure the water was full and she was mad because she says im taking advantage of her.

what does a person do in a new relationship? i feel bad because i think my mom is very lonely, she doesn’t really have any friends or a relationship. but i want to live my life too! i am in the process of finding my own apartment.