I (M21) have a good amount of friends and many different friend groups.
The thing is im always the one who is never a central part of any of these groups, the one being forgotten when doing something, going out on weekends and stuff, always the one who gets ignored in conversations, never having anything to add because i dont know/care about some topics. Never being asked anything either most of the time.
They are having like the best time of their lives and then i see the pictures and hear from them on the next day. “oH iF i KnEw I wOuLd HaVe AsKeD yOu…” like its always the same. Also in the trio of two of my best friends im always the quietest, walking behind them when going somewhere or having the least to add to our conversations at all – except when im only meeting with one of my friends at the same time.
All of this shit makes me feel so insignificant and worthless, what makes my already existing feelings of misery and self hatred even worse.
The thing is i have some close friends who i really connect with when just the two of us meet and do something, but as soon as theres a group doing something its like im not even there. I fucking hate being so unimportant, i also never had a girlfriend either – let alone felt good enough for dating at all. Im sure i would also be too boring for that.
Just had to get this off my chest because its been bothering me for way too long now…
Comments
I feel you, really. I have the same problems.
But it’s sometimes better if you just let them go, improve yourself. You said you don’t feel like dating because you think you’re too boring? Fix that. Maybe buy some new clothes, or thrift them if you don’t have much money. Or get a new haircut. Change yourself and don’t try to fit in. They maybe won’t even remember you when they are older or have any memories with you, so why bother trying to make memories with them? I mean, yeah, everyone wants friends. Everyone wants someone to rant to or spend their weekends with. But sometimes the right friends aren’t always the ones near you. I’m not saying you should have a long-distance friendship with someone, but maybe if they live in another city just around the corner.
And if you’re not struggling with keeping yourself and your home clean, then maybe try to get some kind of pet, a dog, or a cat, maybe. Just a furry warm friend waiting for you when you come home, isn’t that wonderful? It’s definitely nowhere near a loyal and loving girlfriend, but it is something that could help with the loneliness. But please, for the live of God, don’t get yourself a pet when you are struggling with caring yourself. Even if you think you can support them, you can’t. Don’t make a pet suffer.
Take care