I don’t know if I’m saying this the right way, but I feel like some guys will understand. There was a certain moment growing up where my default composure became very masculine. I used to be preppy, high energy, and have mood swings but after a certain point out in the world and in the workforce, I’m much calmer. I’ve adopted new habits, not even thinking about them, that I didn’t have before, for example:
-always having a five o’clock shadow (I used to be concerned with having the closest shave possible)
-dressing in plain colours and avoiding bright/neon clothes to be taken more seriously
-speaking in a lower tone
-sitting with my legs farther apart
-self correcting my posture
-looking people in the eye when I’m talking to them
-exuding a level of confidence
-hitting the gym more frequently
Did a combination of these things just become the norm for you as well?
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The gym is likely the main reason why. It’s a good thing!
Good thing that you noticed your changes. They say 25 is the point where boys turn into men, I believe it’s closer to 30. I’ve been the same way since 32-ish?
Yes, definitely. I think it was because partly just maturing (your brain keeps growing until 26), and also I just started doing more and more “manly” things. You kinda become what you do.
I get what you mean. I would not have called it ”more masculine”. I didn’t do most of the things you say there but I have certainly felt more grounded and in myself as I went through my late 20’s and into 30’s.
Probably more around 22-24 for me. However, my progression probably isn’t as typical as most.
I graduated college in 22, received a commission in the Army, and became an Infantry Officer. At 24 years old, I was an Infantry Platoon Leader doing daily combat patrols in Iraq in 2004-2005.
The Army is all about appearance. Especially as a young officer, how you look and the badges and chest candy you have on your uniform give you a solid first impression and define who you are to people who don’t know you. Especially as a young Infantry Platoon Leader, having a Ranger Tab on your shoulder, jump wings, and a Combat Infantry Badge on your chest does a lot to give you that credibility. In my case, I also got into weightlifting and dabbled in steroid use. At 24 years old, I looked to be every bit of a combat hardened Infantry Officer that I needed to be.
The takeaway is, you can become who need to be in whatever situation you put yourself into.
I don’t know I just have less fucks overall
I piss standing up. No excuses
I feel like I just got goofier
This seems less like a masculine thing and more just a mature thing. You get older and more experienced, you get more confident. You get more confident and you start being more decisive (how you carry yourself and going to the gym).
The gym fixed all your issues. Lol
No. Not really. I’m pretty much the same as I was in high school except now much less tolerant of bullshit.
Yeah, I was more foot loose and fancy free when I was younger. Now I’m more serious and reserved. I just consider it growing up.
comes a point in time where you realize nobody pays your bills but you so your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters.
Reads a bit like you been watching alpha content on youtube. You know you shouldn’t value someone based on the colours they wear right? Or position your body based on how others view you. This might seem manly to you but it’s actually insecure behaviour. A truly confident person doesn’t even think about these things.
I’ve become quieter and more reserved since 28ish. Right around the time I had my first kid. I care less what people think and don’t worry about upsetting or offending anyone, but I also keep my mouth shut and my opinion to myself unless asked.
I don’t “placate” or mask my feelings for anyone. My priorities are my income, my family and my own peace. As long as nobody gets in the way of those things I have no issue. But I will absolutely stand up for what I believe in.
It’s just called maturity. That’s all there is to it.
You’re just getting to a point where you have the confidence in your experience. You weren’t less of a man before, you’ve just done enough stuff to be sure of yourself.
All part of growing up dude. Wait till your back starts to hurt for no reason…and then never stops hurting, that’s the really fun part.
I’ll echo what another commenter said about watching alpha culture or TRP stuff, but I’ll disagree with that redditor’s opinion that it’s a bad thing. It’s not.
You’re finding your place in you’re gender role, and you’re realizing who you need to be to fill that role properly.
Keep working towards improving yourself. One day you’ll wake up like me, where people just respect you before you even start talking. Just be sure you don’t ruin it when you start talking.