My parents divorced when I was 2 or younger. I (17) lived with my mom until she died when I was 7 and then my dad decided to stop me going into foster care. He wasn’t an involved dad before mom died and he didn’t become one after either but he kept a roof over my head and food in my belly so he did something I guess. I got used to doing things for myself and spent most of my time bouncing around some friends houses. I tried to never stay too long so they wouldn’t grow tired of having me around and it’s worked. I’m 17 now and I have less than a year to go.
When I was 15 my dad started dating someone and they got married right before my 16th birthday. They were married for a few months when my dad left her. She was pregnant at the time. He told her he wanted to divorce and that was it. She moved out but tried to win him back and she tried to build some kind of relationship with me and she said she wanted me to know her baby. I wasn’t interested so I ignored her. The baby was born and they did a DNA test and the baby’s my dad’s kid. The divorce was finalized a while after that.
My dad has nothing to do with his ex’s child and I never met the baby either. Dad has support taken from his paycheck but that’s all he has to do with that kid.
His ex wife kept trying to reach me via socials and text. I blocked her number and made my accounts private so she couldn’t reach me but the texts didn’t stop even with blocking her. It’s always some different or weird number. She told me dad might not want to know but I’m a big brother and her child deserves to have a good relationship with me. I don’t want one. I’m not interested in meeting her child. Being related doesn’t do anything for me. I ignored her for weeks before I snapped the other night after she said she was the mother to my sibling and I had a sibling and they cared about me and needed me and I sent a text back saying I don’t care about her or her kid and to leave me alone. I blocked that number then but she did what she keeps doing.
My next step is once I’m 18 get a new number and just move on. But ever since I sent that text she’s been calling me names and saying only a monster wouldn’t love their own flesh and blood sibling.
AITA?
Comments
NTA, but why not give her and this sibling a chance to love you?
NTA. Maybe get your dad involved. She’s his ex and he should deal with her.
NTA she is trying to force a relationship on you that you just don’t feel. Why can’t you get your number changed now?
Inform her that you are building a case for harassment to take to the police.
You are just experiencing normal teenage
Angst.
When your frontal lobe develops you’ll look back on this and be more chill.
She wants a babysitter. NTA
NTA.
Ask the police for advice how to handle this herassment of a minor.
Do what you want, NTA. I wouldn’t completely blow up the relationship just in case you change your mind later; maintain your flexibility.
Yeah if she didn’t pay much attention to you before I’m inclined to think she’s trying to get you involved so she has some help with the baby. I feel bad for her but she’s not your problem. I
I’d 100% let your dad die alone, he’s awful.
NTA. You may be related by blood, but you have no relationship with this child and no interest in having one. Your dad is a first-class jerk, but that’s his ex-wife’s problem. Continue to block and move on.
NTA. Phrase it differently. “Please stop harassing a minor for your mistake of opening your legs”
NTA. She’s harassing you at this point. You’re still a minor, speak to your dad or another relative, or just go to the police yourself and report her. This is so wrong!
Don’t be your Dad. You do have a sibling and uf you give it a try, you just might surprise yourself.
Man I hate absent fathers. They be destroying everything around them including themselves.
Stay strong mate, that ain’t yours to take responsibility.
file a police report for harassment
Tell her if she doesn’t stop you’ll go to the police because she’s harassing you and you are a minor. You could still do it. Especially since it’s devolved to calling you names.
NTA, the next time she messages you send her this.
“I have made my position clear in not wanting to be involved. If you continue harassing me as a minor, I will take the evidence and go to the Police in order to draft a Cease & Desist complaint against you. I do not wish to have a relationship with you or your child. Accept this or I will follow through with legal action. Your relationship with my Father is his business and not mine. Youre continuing harassment over his lack of involvement as well as mine, and I’ve done my best to explain I do not wish to have a relationship with you or your child. Continued pressure & harassment will result in a Protective Order against you if you do not stop.”
Unfortunately, bordering on adulthood at 17 means you need to speak like an adult & put your point across without childish actions or speech. But escalate it if she does not stop. Go to the Police yourself, explain the situation. Protect yourself & your peace.
Jeez. That poor woman.
First, your dad is a first-class POS. I hope you don’t follow in his footsteps. Second, You don’t owe his ex-wife or your half-sibling anything. If you feel something great. If you feel nothing, then it isn’t your problem. She should hear you and respect your decision. She hooked up with your loser dad (I’m sure there were many red flags) so that’s on her and her. Not your problem. I’ll say it again. Your dad is a royal POS.
NTA
Reply to the next message that this is her last warning before you report her to the police for harassment of a minor.
NTA. Even if you were full siblings, 17 is not going to have much of a relationship with an infant. Call your phone provider and find out about changing the number. In the mean time, block her and her texts.
It sounds as though you’re becoming your father, and that’s not a good thing. Always try to be a better person.
NTAH
Well, tell her she’s the last in line cause your dad got five other women pregnant and their kids come first.
I love your attitude 🫰 how you put her on her place.
Really, don’t talk to her, don’t send her any messages, just don’t interact, and let the police handle it.
You can tell your father and ask him tell her she’s harassing a minor and threaten to charge her for that.
Could it be she’s concerned about you? I am. No wonder you don’t want to get to know your sibling, what with losing your mom so young and your dad being emotionally unavailable. You’ve HAD to close off your emotions. You’ve definitely shown resilience, but that doesn’t mean it was fair that you were in such a position to have to.
I do think you’re NTA, and that she is going overboard. She should give you some space, but I don’t think she’s NTA for trying to some degree. You’re sibling is going to be very hurt that they were rejected both by their biological dad and brother, and you could be potentially missing out on blood-based love. Not your problem – just the potential reality. You don’t have to do anything about it. It just makes sense why she would try.
Again, I think she should respect your no. Maybe give you an opportunity to change your mind later in your life, but to respect your choice. I hope you get some peace in this situation.
NTA she does not get to decide who you consider family.
I’m sorry she hitched her wagon to a loser, but she needs to make other choices that don’t involve harassing a minor
NTA. So this grown woman is harassing a 17 year old kid because she wants what? free babysitting? an emotional crutch? an “in” to you father?
And, she persists despite your making it eminently clear that you are not interested. It is now time for a cease and desist order. Go to your local police and ask about obtaining one. Good luck. She sounds unhinged.
Ensure you father’s will leaves everything (except child support) to you. Else, she is coming after everything she can if you dad passes away.