My wife has recently went home for about a month and half and took my car to keep miles off of hers. She made it three days before finding a ring in the cup holders in the center console. The cup holders that we both use regularly and have had drinks in them without anything underneath on the same day that she left. There isn’t even another female that’s ever been in my vehicle, let alone anybody who wears jewelry. I haven’t the slightest idea how it got there but I have found out that the ring is a buddies girlfriend. She has claimed the ring and I even have screenshot proof of her doing so. But regardless of what I say none of it is enough to convince my wife that I am not nor will I ever cheat. Advice is desperately needed as I feel I can’t talk to anybody I know about this.
My wife thinks I’m cheating, what should I do?
r/Advice
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If she thinks you are, may as well go get you a side piece.
You’re going to get treated the same at home.
Best is to find how it got there …
How did you have a buddy’s girlfriend in your car and say “there’s never been another female in the car”.
It sounds like you are just practicing your excuse to us.
I would be more worried about her if she literally wants to nuke your relationship without any real evidence.
What can you do?
Well dive into joint marriage counselling asap, not individual. Give her all your passwords and tell her to dig deep. Just be open and use the counselling to find out why she is so predisposed to think the worst. Most counselors are female so she should be able to more easily identify with the counselor and communicate.
For me the red flag is her nuclear reaction, why is she so sensitised that she goes nuclear and refuses to believe anything to the contrary. Does she have wayward friends? Very close friends who are not married?
All you can do is respectfully give her no pause to Mistrust you. Let he look through your phone 📱. But if it persists for a long time then find out what’s going on. It might be something with her.
I’m sorry… most times people who are committing the thing they are accusing their significant other of use ‘transference’… they accuse ‘you’ of what they are guilty of. My (54M) wife (59F) has not directly accused me of infidelity but she made allusions on two occasions so far. I informed her if she does this a 3rd time I will make her accusations come true and divorce her.
She has legit concerns, no matter how much faith she had in you prior to finding a red flag put this to an end before it gets out of control. Tell her to research you getting a lie detector test have her write up a series of questions that she wants answered. You can find a good technician by contacting an attorney‘s office and ask who they use. criminal attorneys use them all the time. The modern test can only be beaten by about .0001% of the human race total psychos are the only people that can beat a modern test They can even tell what techniques you are using if you’re trying to beat the test and matters like this an inconclusive answer is the worst outcome as opposed to truth or lie inconclusive is always a bad thing and it shows you’re messed up in the head $600 to a grand and put it to rest immediately
If you tell her and she still doesn’t believe you, just leave. The marriage is finished anyways.
She’s cheating on you and it’s a trick to end it with you and make you out to be the wrecking ball.
I strongly suggest you go to couples counseling.
You can’t prove a negative. You can offer couples therapy and you can have her talk to the girl. Has she said what she wants?
My question is so what if there was a girl in your car, how is that cheating? If she’d this paranoid I don’t know if the headache is worth it.
Back off calling the guy a liar! Why would anyone waste their time asking for advice on Reddit if they are lying? I take this forum as a place where you can anonymously ask for advice. Sure he could be BS-ing everyone, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Some of you are so jaded.
The ring belongs to your buddie’s girlfriend.
You say you have no idea how it got there.
You say there has never been another woman in your car.
She does have legitimate reasons for doubt here.
How did your buddie’s girlfriend’s ring even get into your center drink cup holders?
Anyways, I think when you can honestly answer those questions to her, she may still doubt you because even in your post you contradict yourself.
She’s cheating and set you up
How long has she been using your car exactly? Did she have any female friends in the car.
The fd up thing is that “cup holders…have had drinks in them without anything underneath on the same day that she left” 3 days later wife finds a ring in one of them. 🤯
Wait how did your buddy’s girlfriend’s ring end up in your car? Did she take it off to give you a handjob? Probably best to go with “he borrowed my car”
Even if you did cheat, who leaves rings in the cup holder?
Cheat 🤷♂️
There’s never been another female in your car…..but the buddy’s girlfriend’s ring was found in your car. So how does that work? 🤔 Did she just teleport into and out of your car, leaving the ring behind?
Ring was in the buddy’s cars cupholder, buddy put his cup in the cupholder, ring got stuck to underside of cup, buddy (and cup) moved into OPs car. Cup goes in OPs cupholder, ring falls off.
Cheat
Stop lying and admit you cheated. Looking for ways to manipulate her in a believable way is disgusting. Drawing strangers in so you can likely wag the posts in her face…. Disgusting. You had your friends gf alone in your car and she removed her ring….. And forgot it….. So noto nly do you cheat on your wife you fuck your friends women. Wow.
I read all you said and heck it all sounds dishonest and grasping…
You can’t talk to people you know about this because you likely have a history of cheating. That’s on you for being selfish and gross.
Either you’re being shady or she may be having thoughts. Go to therapy instead of Reddit if you actually care about your marriage lol
No matter what you say or do, if she is anything like my ex-wife, she will always bring it up and use it for ammunition.
Welcome to my little slice of hell.
Stop cheating.
Well in my knowledge as a married man, what I have learned is that it’s easier to just tell her (wife) that she is right so you can go about your daily business. Women are always right, don’t ever forget that… AND stop cheating that’s just plain old inconsiderate.
The wife is never wrong. So start cheating to make her right.
No females in the car, buddy’s girlfriend’s ring in the car. With receipts, even. Does your buddy carry his girlfriend’s ring around?
Get rid of her. If she doesn’t trust you, then you don’t have a good relationship already.
My now ex girlfriend found a womans hair brush in my car and accused me of the same thing.
It was my daughters, but nothing could convince her.
Maybe someone’s framing you!
When my wife started accusing me of fooling around it turned out it was really her that was screwing around on me. She was just trying to throw me off balance so I couldn’t figure it out.
So what does your “Buddy” think of all this? His girls ring in your car?
She’s fucking your friend, duh. It’s always projection.
This sounds incredibly stressful, and I’m sorry you’re stuck in a situation where you feel misunderstood. First, take a breath this isn’t hopeless even if it feels that way right now.Your wife’s fear likely comes from a place of hurt, not logic, so pushing harder with facts might not work. Instead, try opening a calm, vulnerable conversation. Acknowledge her feelings without immediately defending yourself. Say something like, “I can see why this looks terrible, and I hate that you’re hurting. I’m not lying, but I want to figure this out with you.” Offer to show her the screenshots again, but frame it as wanting to rebuild trust, not “prove” her wrong. Btw, If she’s still skeptical, suggest involving your buddy or his girlfriend (with their consent) to confirm the story. Sometimes hearing it from a third party can help. If she’s open to it, couples counseling could give you both tools to navigate this without it turning into a blame game. In the meantime, be patient and remember trust takes time to rebuild, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. Small, consistent actions (like being transparent with your time or phone) might help ease her anxiety. You’re not alone, even if it feels that way consider reaching out to a therapist privately if talking to friends feels too risky.
Here is my solution: if the ring does indeed belong to a girlfriend there is a 100% chance in 2025 that she has a smartphone that has pictures, lots of pictures. Some of those pictures are very likely to have images of the Ring, some of them maybe even unquestionably the ring that was found in your cup holder. If she has several pictures like this, and if the date time stamps are inargable, it should go a long way to proving that you’re telling the truth. If she magically has no pictures, well, that’s obviously a problem. If not her, the boyfriend likely has many pictures of his girlfriend, and some of those pictures would have the ring in question without argument.
Resolve that. It should be pretty easy in 2025 when everyone takes pictures with their phones. If you can’t resolve that and she has good reason to doubt you and it is a bit impossible that the ring wound up in your car, well, then you have a problem. If she doesn’t believe you because she doesn’t trust you or because she’s making the accusation to cover something of her own, you also have a problem.
Of course, it really does not explain how the ring got there in the first place. And, I have to admit I’m a bit curious.
Seek counseling with a neutral and trained marriage and resolution counselor if you wish to save this relationship and you are unable to demonstrate to your partners satisfaction how the ring got there.
Is your buddy’s girlfriend and her friends? Maybe she was in the car the day she left.
If she automatically thinks you’re lying, then what kind of shit marriage do you have?
Is it really worth to even try to save it?
Go and bang your buddy’s bitch or bang your buddys arse..😜
Sounds like the bigger issue here is trust. Or lack thereof.
Start there and address that.
Tell her the truth. It’s so easy.
You’re cheating on your wife, and this your pathetic attempt to get some expert-level messaging that will change her mind.
Bozo
You should cheat
Hi OP someone might have put it there to make it look like you have been cheating has a guy been trying to talk to you wife about you or your wife might have put it there to make you look like you have had a girl in the car to say. You have been or to make suspicions that you have as she has been cheating and does not want to feel guilty for doing so you might want to investigate or. Did anyone else use your car like your friend.
I always feel suss about folks who call girls or women, “females”. So yeah…
If she wants to be an asshole about it then it sound like you should give her a real reason
Has reddit always been like this? People speculating that wife is the one cheating when she is the one who found a ring and OP is the one asking for an urgent advice?
OP, you said the ring belongs to your buddy’s girlfriend but you didn’t know how it got there. How do you know it belonged to her specifically? Did your friend ever borrow your car? If he did, your wife isn’t aware of this?
Talk to her once she calms down. Her response is justified from her perspective. How would you feel if you found a men’s ring in your wife’s car when you clearly know it’s not yours? Don’t throw the speculations cooked in the comments here on her, that would be gaslighting and it only increases the suspicion.
Dude. Everyone is asking how the ring got into your car. This is the question that everything rides upon. So answer the question
Just to add you should check the laws where you are if your wife takes the car use a GPS and a voice activated audio recorder to find out information if you are being set up or if cheating is going on
If your story makes little sense to a bunch of strangers, it makes less sense to your wife.
Read all >> Did your buddy have the keys ? Here’s why I ask… many yrs ago when I was more of a DICK I had a boss that was a total ass and hitting on all the girls in the mail room…. Well his car was parked directly outside his office window. I would randomly go to his office minutes before the weekly meeting held down the hall from his office . (His keys were always on a side table just inside his office) Well I would hit open on the way in wait 20 minutes and toss in new “ family planning assistance “ mostly in the back seat but sometimes in the passenger side sun visor, and re lock his car. A few months after I left I heard from some of my friends still working there that he was going to family counseling and ultimately wound up getting a divorce. I kinda hope I had a hand in that. So who had access to your keys ?
Just go ahead and cheat.