When I was 16 I stole $300 from my dad and paid a homeless woman to have sex with me so I could lose my virginity

r/

We did this at my parent’s house. My dad had a secret stash of cash hidden in a security envelope inside a file cabinet that was locked and in his office. I made a copy of that key one day at a hardware shop. He had $1400 but I took 4 hundred dollar bills, didn’t want to take everything. I knew this Native American woman who’d hang out by the Shell station by the freeway and one day she told me she worked as a prostitute and she could have sex with me I paid. I asked how much do you charge? She asked how much I had. I said $300 because I wanted the other $100 for stuff. We went home and had unprotected sex in my bed and when my parents came home I let her stay in my room and she slept with me that night. We even showered together.

My mom caught her the next morning and was like who the fuck is this? Called pd and she hightailed it and never got caught I never saw her again. But she got me into women with flabby stomachs and stretch marks and Native women. My mom took me to a doc and STD tested me and I came back clean. I lied to my dad that I gave her $400 when it was $300 and used it to by a replacement burner phone as they took my phone and my games and everything from me.

Comments

  1. SkinnyMonkey23 Avatar

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  2. AncientSuntzu Avatar

    Damn. They only took tech? This almost sounds worth it!

  3. toxichaste12 Avatar

    Dad got it for $100

  4. oldfogey12345 Avatar

    Ah, those sweet, romantic teen years.

    Smart move getting the burner phone.

  5. DavidManvell Avatar

    Awwww that’s a sweet story!

  6. nnnoooeee Avatar

    A tale as old as time itself…

  7. ETfromTheOtherSide Avatar

    This is the best thing I’ve read today 😂😂😂 Thank you for the laugh!

  8. FatalTortoise Avatar

    lol you got scammed outta like $200

  9. benjamin14 Avatar

    Net loss: $200

  10. ChefChefBubbaBill Avatar

    She woulda done it for $30

  11. unknown_wiring Avatar

    I feel like this is in Arizona