I’m having communication problems

So me and my partner have been together for about 6-8 years. We are each other’s first real relationship. It was on and off for the first few years because we were young and didn’t really know what we wanted but, after we both got older we experienced some really challenging things together that brought us significantly closer. We grew up living blocks away from each other with older siblings that were friends so we were always together.

We formed a codependency early on that we’ve slowly been working on lessening. Tbh I’m not used to being away from them so much being that they still live close by. We’re also friends with the same people (people we grew up with). So again, always with each other

Now we’re navigating adulthood and it seems like we’ve been hitting a lot of rough patches that don’t feel like they’re getting resolved.

They rekindled some old friendships and now they’re hanging out with them a lot during times that I can’t participate in. They also brought up how they think we see each other too much and they also want time alone (or time alone to be with their friends) Which I understand but had been making me feel really left out or neglected because now it has gotten to the point where their friends see them more than me.

I’ve been hesitant to talk about it bc again I do think it’s important for them to have their alone time. But when I do bring it up I feel like I’m not being heard or validated.

Personally I’m the one that leads conversations we have when there’s problems, but due to my anxiety I have a really hard time not shutting down when we talk about hard topics. And they have trouble articulating and elaborating certain things so the come off differently then what they mean, so we’ve been having a hard time resolving this conflict.

Does anyone have advice?