Honestly? Hide-and-seek. A toddler could probably outwit me by squeezing into some impossibly tiny spot I’d never think to check. Plus, they’ve got that mischievous giggle that makes the game way more fun.
You know that thing where they literally kick both legs straight out and land smack on their ass on a hard floor? Yeah, I do believe I’d get my ass whooped at that game.
Taekwondo. I know this for a fact. Don’t underestimate their high kicks.There is no winning when you start taekwondo as an adult – you are always either getting beaten up by children or winning a fight against a child. Neither is a good look.
Crawling, I actually completely bypassed crawling and went straight to walking. I wanted to go after my older sibling so I did. I can’t stay on my knees for a little bit, it’s rather painful and I don’t have a lot of cushioning on my knees.
Learning Mandarin. Kids are out of this world at language acquisition. My old brain and bad ears are not going to be able to even come close to a toddler in picking up a new language.
Our toddler beats both my wife and I at many things, simply by turning us against each other without us realizing it. It usually starts with us trying to tell him that he can’t do something and before we know it, we’re yelling at each other and he’s doing the very thing that we told him that he couldn’t do. They are the masters of manipulation.
I think the answer is tunneling. It’ so hard to overcome their physical advantages and their natural desire to burrow really gives them passion for the competition.
Quite a lot of things: they can be happy with simple things that I already forgot how,they could eat very little but have so much energy to run around all day,they could be very quick on learning things and curious about everything,…I learn a lot of things (again) from my toddler.
Getting a girlfriend, a kiss from a girl, a date from a girl, a hug from a girl, a compliment from a girl. I have enough social skills to maintain friendships, but not enough at making friends and none when it comes to dating.
Running through the house. Now don’t get me wrong, outside I can smoke this fool, but inside, there are a lot more obstacles and tight corners for me than him. He can zig and zag but I gotta duck and shuffle through the same spaces. No wonder our parents always had rules about running in the house. Can’t beat the little shits
Comments
Titty sucking
convincingly play a toddler in a movie
Standing.
(I’m disabled)
The reason for this question:
I just got my adult ass handed to me by my 3 yrs old daughter in „Memory“ even though I really tried!
Staying afloat
Definitely hide-and-seek! I mean, how can I compete with a tiny ninja who can fit behind the couch and think they’re invisible?
Sleeping. I get, maybe, 5 hours of sleep every 24 hours.
Honestly? Hide-and-seek. A toddler could probably outwit me by squeezing into some impossibly tiny spot I’d never think to check. Plus, they’ve got that mischievous giggle that makes the game way more fun.
crawling
Genuine happiness.
Ignoring climate change and inequality
Equanimity
Sucking boobs i guess
Shitting myself
Happiness
Mobility… toddlers are basically made of elastic and im a dried rubberband
being happy.
Staring
Anything stretching related. Those things are scary bendy. I don’t have kids and they scare me
Popularity
Screaming over something completely irrational. My voice gets tired quickly, but an unhappy toddler can scream for hours.
Naming colors.
I do not use colors in my nornal life so I just know the name of the basic standard colors like black, red yellow orange green brown
But stuff like khaki, lavender, teal, coral etc etc a toddler would beat me
Stealing
Ignoring bills
Went bowling on new year’s eve with the wife and 2 year old daughter.
Now, she did use the ramp thing but no bumpers were in place.
Guess who won……
Hungry Hungry Hippo (the old school version)
Running around. I’m too old and tired for that
A paleontology exam. I swear these little lads have a magical ability to know more about dinosaurs than the entirety of the museum board of directors.
Being annoying
Jeopardy
Falling without injury.
Like a normal way they sit is to just bend at the waist and fall backwards on their butt. My hips would shatter
Happiness
You will never win against a 2-3 year old in a shouting match. Trust me, I have 3 kids, it never works out if you try!
Get a compliment for shitting their pants.
You know that thing where they literally kick both legs straight out and land smack on their ass on a hard floor? Yeah, I do believe I’d get my ass whooped at that game.
Throwing a tantrum but it would be close.
Fighting a nap
Math.
Drooling.
Commiting to a role.
My child has eaten, walked, a roared like a dinosaur for the last 3 weeks.
Grip strength and a foot race.
Pulling in ladies. They all swoon for a cute baby but run from me like I’m a monster lmao
Getting adoration from random strangers.
A tricycle race
Toddling
Taekwondo. I know this for a fact. Don’t underestimate their high kicks.There is no winning when you start taekwondo as an adult – you are always either getting beaten up by children or winning a fight against a child. Neither is a good look.
Arguing.
Not sleeping
Right now? Walking(broke my ankle) lol.
Catch.
Seriously. I have no coordination.
Moderating blood sugar (the vast majority of them, anyway)
my kids used to whip me at those memory games at that age. It’s kinda freaky how good their memories are at that age.
Positional negotiation
Whining and crapping their pants.
Being happy
Crawling, I actually completely bypassed crawling and went straight to walking. I wanted to go after my older sibling so I did. I can’t stay on my knees for a little bit, it’s rather painful and I don’t have a lot of cushioning on my knees.
Probably crying. Screaming.
Not caring, especially when something is about to fall off the table and break/spill.
They just watch it roll off the table!
Running
Checkers. Always sucked at board games.
Limbo.
A foot race. No lie.
Running.
Putting together a puzzle
Using any tablet
Sympathy.
Imaginative play…I try to play with kids but apparently my imagination sucks
Toddling
Math
Limbo.
Emotional blackmail.
Being liked by people
Flexibility
Social interactions
Fencing. A 5yr old already beat me.
Monkey Bars
The nonchalant ability to shit yourself in a crowd.
Running.
Sleeping
Living in the moment.
Not worrying.
Being outgoing socially.
Programming my phone.
Learning Mandarin. Kids are out of this world at language acquisition. My old brain and bad ears are not going to be able to even come close to a toddler in picking up a new language.
Using an ipad. .
Have never owned a tablet, have maybe spent a total hour of time on shared ipads.
Familiar with android, windows and linux, i haven’t had much exposure to anything apple, despite a mac being my second learned computer in 1994.
A toddler would sort an ipad before I could at this time.
Falling over without hurting themselves
Squats
Making new friends 🥲
Not having to think about tomorrow.
Learning a second language
Falling down. It would hurt any adult if they fell down constantly. 🤕
Candyland. I don’t recall ever having beaten a child at that game. It’s rigged!
Stubborness
Using a computer
Body weight squats
Toddlers are full depth ass to grass master squatters.
Jumping successively down the sidewalk.
Screaming.
Making a bigger mess in under 5 mins
Staring contest
Throwing a tantrum. Just not in my wheelhouse.
Navigating an ipad
Waking up every 2 hours.
stamina as in running all around a house for house and still going
Nonstop activities for the whole damn day. They have so much energy
Maybe slightly over toddler but my gaming skills are shit after not doing it for 20+ years. Have to really try to get a win if playing NHL 2025
Chess
Naming dinosaurs
Naming cartoon characters.
Pooping
Our toddler beats both my wife and I at many things, simply by turning us against each other without us realizing it. It usually starts with us trying to tell him that he can’t do something and before we know it, we’re yelling at each other and he’s doing the very thing that we told him that he couldn’t do. They are the masters of manipulation.
I think the answer is tunneling. It’ so hard to overcome their physical advantages and their natural desire to burrow really gives them passion for the competition.
Trick or Treating.
I doubt many would give a 40 year male candy on Hallowe’en
Being happy.
Making friends! They just walk out the door and have a new friend. This skill lasts until about preteen years I guess.
Crapping my pants
Being interested in inconsequential things.
Pokemans
Limbo
Arm wrestling
(I’ve got no arms)
Being happy without affirmation and technology
A foot race. Ain’t no way I can keep up with a toddler on a mission.
The distance they would fly backward from being thrown against a wall, I’d probably just flop over or bust through the wall lol
Optimistic attitude
Their energy. Even after running and jumping all day, they would be up for some more adventure.
Shitting their pants on command.
Climbing
Quite a lot of things: they can be happy with simple things that I already forgot how,they could eat very little but have so much energy to run around all day,they could be very quick on learning things and curious about everything,…I learn a lot of things (again) from my toddler.
Staring contest.
Longevity.
Shitting my pants
Eating
Getting a girlfriend, a kiss from a girl, a date from a girl, a hug from a girl, a compliment from a girl. I have enough social skills to maintain friendships, but not enough at making friends and none when it comes to dating.
Screaming
Nose picking
Flexibility
Knowledge of current toddler trends
Most kids age 2 and above could beat me at most games and those hand clapping games, because they are too difficult stressful for me
They can easily go under our legs, but can we??
I’d say we got ourselves a winner 🥇
Being viewed as : adorable, perfect skin and hair etc, precious, having great potential, being worthy of protection and opportunities And love,
Pants shitting, but not by very much!
Crying
Language learning. That darn neural plasticity
NOT being lonely and AFRAID constantly ( until they grow up, that is,)
Sleeping when it’s time to sleep.
Rocket League
Doing squats
Watching j j and mikey on youtube
Being so stinking cute! They are adorable! And it’s all the time. It’s nature’s way of making it so we keep them even after a complete meltdown.
Crawling on hands and knees.
Endurance
Screaming
Squats. Those toddlers pop in and out of squats at the drop of a hat. No preparing themselves, no groaning… show-offs…
Napping.
Being carefree. My kids don’t give a damn lol
Running
Continuous ranting
I read this as do you genuinely believe a toddler could beat you up.
Screaming
Flipping a bottle of water
40 yard dash.
Monkey bars
Hostage negotiation
Running through the house. Now don’t get me wrong, outside I can smoke this fool, but inside, there are a lot more obstacles and tight corners for me than him. He can zig and zag but I gotta duck and shuffle through the same spaces. No wonder our parents always had rules about running in the house. Can’t beat the little shits