Not even just old people. I recognize some people in their 30’s-40’s who can’t accept their age and want to be under 25 again lol. I’m not exactly sure what the motivation is. I don’t know if you want younger people of the opposite sex to notice you, if you want to fit in with the younger crowd, or what.
I understand we all want to feel and look good but some people just can’t accept their true biological age. Maybe when I’m older I’ll understand but by no means do I want others to think I’m younger than I really am. It’s very cringe when I see it and I’d rather be associated with my age group than not.Just help me understand because I really don’t.
Comments
Probably mostly because society seems to want to invalidate and “disappear” people as they age, making them irrelevant and without voice. I don’t think the natural aging process would be that difficult for people to accept if this were not the case.
Can I ask how old you are?
I’ve always had a healthy attitude about aging BUT hitting 60 in November hit me differently than other milestones. I have been dealing with rheumatoid arthritis for the last decade and between the meds and the inflammation, it’s really taken a toll on me. I feel like I look older than I am and it sucks. I look and feel older than my husband, who is 64.
The thing is, most of us “old” people still feel young inside, so when we look in the mirror and see wrinkles and gray hair, it seems wrong.
Add to that society’s obsession with youth and beauty, and you have a recipe for disastrous self-image.
I think that for most of us, accepting our aging has to be a deliberate choice, and it definitely can be done. But some people choose denial instead. 🤷♀️
You aren’t sure of their motivation because you can’t read minds. I can’t, either, so I don’t know what they’re thinking.
To be fair, neither of us can read minds well enough to say that any of these people can’t accept their age, or even that they’re trying to look younger. Or that they want to look young again. Or that they want younger people to find them attractive.
I suppose it depends on what you see them doing, but from my point of view, if they’re doing something 25-year-olds do, maybe they just like the activity. I’m 70 and if I like a band whose members are 25, I’ll be the old guy at the back of the club listening to them, not trying to be young. Just enjoying live music. Possibly after napping all afternoon so I last through the show.
If they’re dressing a certain way, maybe they just like the fashion. If they’re getting cosmetic surgery, that does seem to me like wanting to look young. I don’t know. My kids and their spouses and friends are in their 30’s and seem to act like it and hang out with people their own age. Other millennials, I have no clue – everyone under 50 looks like a kid to me at this point. And nobody my age is trying to look young, maybe because it would be impossible.
Idk if I want to look 25.
But seeing your face not look like the same texture it once was feels sad. Like time is running out.
For me it’s not being able to find a partner. More wrinkles means I’ll be able to attract less attractive ppl (that’s the basic me talking. Ofcourse that’s not the only thing. But if I want kids, I need to look like I can have kids to attract the right person)
And it’s so easy these days to sort of reverse the skin. My skin doesn’t look as taut as it was only last year, just 1 botox injection and it will. It’s tempting.
I think it’s harder to accept the decline especially since it’s new at this age. Coz we’ve only been noticing our bodies get better over time from a child to about 30.
The sudden decline / change is what’s hard to accept. Change is hard for everyone in all aspects. Not just women.
Some of us have only received validation for our appearance, rather than for our accomplishments or character. For those people especially, I think it’s very difficult to see beauty/ youthful looks fade away. They think they aren’t worth more than their appearance dictates. My observation is that the need to look young regardless of actual age is especially prevalent in beautiful women and men.
Everyone knows generally what an under 25 lifestyle looks like because most media seems to focus on them. Advertisers used to focus on the 18-49 age group. Then they realized that kids and teenagers were influencing their parents and started focusing more on 10+ advertising.
After high school and possibly college, life isn’t as defined. There isn’t a lot of focus on late 20s to early 40s. I clearly remember turning 31 and seeing all of the fall tv shows (yes, I’m so old that I remember when this was a big deal every fall). At 31, I didn’t want to watch kids in high school/college figuring life out. I also had no interest in the Dateline, cop show, lawyer show paradigm.
If you can’t beat them, join them? 🤷🏻♀️
I just turned 80 in November. I have always looked younger than my age without even trying—probably my optimistic Sagittarius personality. Now that my body is feeling more frail I would appreciate some sympathy. It seems people judge me for not doing enough and not pushing my strength to the limits. (Maybe because all my friends are younger than me). Anyway I’ve become a hermit now with only my cats to keep me going. Old age catches up with you. Try not to be surprised like I was.
I’m 52. For me, it’s about regaining certain aspects of my youth. For example, loss of collagen. You think nothing of it, until one day you look in the mirror and see lines that weren’t there last week. Your skin becomes loose and crepe like. Your cheeks begin to sag. So I use high end serums to reverse the aging process, I refuse to have cosmetic surgery. As a result, I stilll get carded. People always think I’m 10 to 15 years younger. It’s not about wanting to actually be 25 again
NO WAY would I want to re live that. Age brings wisdom, if you stay teachable. At 25 I cared way too much about how other people saw me or thought about me. That’s my story, anyway. Also, we are seeing more of our loved ones die. It reminds us we are closer to death.
If your self worth is based on being attractive you can spiral as you age. Especially if you’re used to being treated “special”, like pretty privilege.
Are you referring to plastic surgery? Trying to dress young & trendy? Acting like a fool? Like what do you mean when you say you cringe seeing it? My niece once cringed introducing me to her 17 yo boyfriend who was wearing the exact same sneakers as me. She thought I was too old to be wearing Converse, and was shocked when I said I’d been wearing them for almost 40 years.
I’m not saying you’re being like that, I’m just curious what you’re reacting to. Some things I’ve naturally given up on, like highlighters and wrinkles do not mix well.
.
I think we wouldn’t have as big a problem looking older if it didn’t come with all the crap that aging causes. It can look 60 but must I go through menopause too. I can handle 55 but my knees buckle when I climb the stairs. I’m 70 (yay!) but now I can’t control my urine stream.
We try to look younger to match how we mentally feel while our bodies fall apart.
Tasteful, well done cosmetic surgery has come a long way. Also, Botox and fillers, done just right, look quite natural. I’ve had an extended deep plane facelift and get Botox twice a year for crows feet. I just look refreshed and ten to fifteen years younger than 70.
Why? I not only look younger but healthier and aesthetically appealing. My face and neck were heading South and now they are not.
I think when you don’t recognize yourself and you can look like yourself again, why not? No one noticed when I did it except to say I looked good, stress free and healthy.
I wish I would have been able to have cosmetic surgery. You will understand when the day comes that you see your reflection in a store window as you walk by and wonder who that old woman is.
I don’t know. I’ve never worried about it. I’m in my 70s and a widow now, but as long as my husband liked the way I looked, I was good to go. And he liked the way I looked, so that was that.
I suppose once we turn 50, we should just start wearing the polyester powder blue elastic waistband pants and ugly floral button-down blouses with a weird looking cardigan(cause we get soooo cold!). Cut out hair and get perms. Look like Vicky Lawrence on Mama’s Family. Get my walker ready!!!
Or maybe just appreciate that people age and some do so very gracefully. My mother looked 60 at 40…I look 35/40 at 51. Times have changed!!
I am so much happier in my second half of life than the first half. The only thing great about youth is the better health and strength. I was a moron for the better part of 3 decades, then only slightly less of an idiot for another dozen years. Now I have a inner peace, lots of friends and the most amazing badass spouse.
I have no idea why people chase youth. Aging can be wisdom if your willing to do the work. I find those that chase youth to be lacking wisdom and generally emotionally immature.
Maybe you can’t chase both as you age? I would pick emotionally maturity over looking young.
I read something in an interview maybe 20 year ago- with Liv Ullmann, who was considered a very beautiful actress. She said that as she aged, she began to see her grandmother’s face in the mirror, and that made her happy. I loved reading that.
I don’t mind looking my age. But I refuse to act the way society says women my age should act. I refuse to give up doing things I love to do until infirmity forces it. So at some point I may have to switch my bicycle for a tricycle, but until then I remain a menace.
It’s insecurity. There are any number of reasons why any single person will feel insecure, but that seems the underlying root of it for the women (and men) I know who use treatments to appear younger.
I dress and conduct myself the way I always have.
I don’t feel like I seem or look younger, I’m just still me.
If y’all don’t like it, I don’t care in the slightest. And you just wait…age will come for you too.
I never wanted to be younger. I’d like to feel younger as my body has started to ache in ways it never did before. But I would t trade the chill attitude and wisdom with being older for the world.
I will not do anything to my face or body to disguise my 62 years. I’m very lucky because I have great skin (everywhere ), but every scar and laugh line reflects events in my life. I don’t want to erase those memories from my body.
I think it’s the way people look for instance I’m 34 and I look ten times better than I did under 25. Hell I look better than I did at 21. So my age doesn’t bother me. If I was starting to age I’d probably feel some type of way
How others choose to dress or to appear to the world is not anyone else’s business.
To my mind. It’s not that I’m old it’s that my insides do not match my outsides. You do not feel older when you are older. I feel just like I did at 25, just like I did at 16. There is no switch that flips and goes oh you’re old now feel like an old person inside your head. I’m just me. But when I look in the mirror a stranger looks back.
Now people say oh you “earned” your scars and wrinkles and other bs but I didn’t earn them I just survived and I don’t need reminding of the shit I went through to look like this. I want my outside to match my insides. And inside me is a 25 year old wondering where the time went and what the hell happened to my face.
I don’t know the answer to that. Perhaps they had a difficult childhood?
All I know is I care about my appearance when I’m out in public, but at home, I’m super casual.