Before I became a dad, I was kind of a mess—chubby, didn’t really care how I dressed, had piercings, and just sort of floated through life. Since my son was born, I’ve started losing weight, thinking about removing my piercings, even bought a collared shirt for once. It’s not like I’m trying to become a different person, but I just feel this pull to “clean up” and be someone he can look up to.
Is this something other dads have gone through? Did becoming a father make you change your style, your habits, your mindset? Just wondering how common this is.
Comments
Thank you u/Darthbane8488 for posting on r/AskParents. All post titles must be in the form of a question.
Posts that do not conform to the subreddit rules are subject to removal at the discretion of a moderator.
Remember to read the rules and report rule breaking posts.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Speaking from the spouses perspective yes- my boyfriend has started dressing better, has better hygiene, has stopped vaping & has lost some weight.
Me on the other hand- struggling with PPD & PPA my hygiene is worse & I could give a crap what I look like as long as my daughter is taken care of.
He also barley helps with her so maybe that’s why.
My husband wasn’t terrible before I got pregnant. However I have watched him turn into the best man I could dream of. He’s turned into the perfect example for our daughters of how they should be treated and a wonderful example for our sons of what a real man is. It’s pretty cool to watch
Personally, I don’t see a problem with piercings, even though I don’t have any. But yeah, fatherhood should make you want to change things about yourself because kids learn the most through modeling (observing behavior and imitating it), so if you have unhealthy behaviors, and don’t want your kid to have them, trying to change them can be a good idea.
Congratulations on becoming a dad. It is one of the greatest experiences in life!
My wife and I tried for 10 years to have children but were unable to conceive. Thus, we went the route of adoption and realized that was God’s plan for us. It’s been an amazing experience!
How did I change because of it?
I was always serious about my career, but having a child changed my perspective on my job. My job helped support my family, but it did not replace it. My priorities have always been God, family, job, but having a child enhanced the importance of this second priority. I tried very hard to be home as much as I could and limit my overnight trips. I did this not because I felt obligated, but because I really wanted to be part of my daughter’s life, watch her grow up, attend her concerts and sporting events, help her with her homework, and pour my love of God into her. It was really important to me to help raise her.
From what you shared it seems to me that your head is in the right place. You want your child to look up to you. Keep up the good work. You will not regret it!