So this really sucks, but I just recently broke up with my long time girlfriend who I’ve known since middle school and dated since highschool. We enrolled in the same college last year and things were going great til recently. She said she wanted to spend some time apart and find herself without me. It hurt but I was supportive cause I really don’t wanna lose her.
This morning my first class got canceled and I was feeling the best so I decided to come back to my apartment. I was surprised to see her car at my place and thought it was odd. But she does have a key still so I thought maybe she was there. When I came in my roommates door was shut and it sounded like he was having sex, but he has a fan on at all times so it’s really muffled. I immediately started catastrophizing believing it was her in there. I had an anxiety attack and went to open the door but it was locked so I knocked.
He eventually opened it shirtless and was acting weird. He had it cracked so I couldn’t see inside and seemed like he just woke up and said something like “hey what’s up?” I don’t even remember what I said next cause I my anxiety is really high but he said he was sleeping in and not feeling great cause we stayed out drinking last night. I said “oh it sounded like you were hooking up in there” and he said it was probably the TV.
I texted my ex why her car was at my place but she hasnt even read it yet. I thought about calling her but haven’t yet. My roommate just left for work but he locked the door which he NEVER does. He always keeps it open and he was acting weird af looking over at me as he left. He asked why I wasn’t at class and I said I’m skipping today. I’m still siting in my room as I write this waiting for her to come out. Maybe I’m just being paranoid and catastrophizing but something does not feel right and her car is STILL here. I feel like crying, I’m shaking, and my chest hurts. I don’t know what to do and I’m trying not to jump to conclusions but I feel like my ex is in the room over right now hoping that I’ll leave so she can come out.
Comments
Yeah that sucks but you’ve broken up.
Your roommate made his move. Time to look for a new one, and gf.
Jingle some keys and “close the front door” as if you were going to out and stand there to see if someone comes out of his room.
Edit: I’m sorry, OP.
Go with your gut feeling unfortunately
I assume your roommate knew this was your ex? That’s kinda shitty on both of them. Anyways, this might not be the greatest advice but personally, I would pretend to leave, but actually sit on the front step off to the side so no one can see me if they try to leave. She will probably think you left and come out.
Honestly, this might not even be a one time thing if it’s true. This might be a regular thing when you’re in class or could potentially become a regular thing. If it’s true, maybe you need to have a talk with your roommate. He has free will to do what he wants but it’s still kinda shitty.
I’m going to give you some advice. Get out of the house. Go do something for yourself and stay away from the house for as long as you possibly can.
Come to terms with the fact that you have no control over what is going on around you. You are going to be OK. You are going to be OK! You are going to be OK. You will weather even the worst possible scenario. But get out of the house. If she is in there, it’s best that you disappear.
Hmmm. I’m beginning to wonder.
Dude that’s brutal, you are not overthinking, you should make arrangements for a new place to live, he’s not necessarily in the wrong as y’all broke up but you have to think about your own feelings and well being first.
Your roommate is garbage and your ex is a piece of 💩. This probably started before you broke up. I don’t advocate for violence but if you turned your roommate into a human pez dispenser I wouldn’t object.
Just leave the place for the day
Time to Drop ya nuts, wipe your tears, & be confrontational.
Dude i would make a loud exit and wait by her car to see if she leaves or she’s gonna starve to death
Ugh that sucks sorry.
Assert your dominance. Put porn on the living room TV really loud.
Conversely, make a smoothie with a really loud blender while yelling “we’re Eskimo brothers now!”
Time to lock in and go to the gym. Also you’re young. College is going to be amazing. Just stay single and meet whoever you want.
Pretend you’re on the phone and walk past the room and say “yeah okay, I will see you soon, I’m just leaving now” then walk to the front door, open it, and close it. Then just stand dead still and wait for the fun to begin.
You should open and close the front door while sitting down somewhere. Trick her into thinking that you left. See what happens
This is insane all I can think about is how stressful and alone you must feel right now do you have any friends you can call? I feel so bad and you’re roommate is so fucked up he knows he’s dead wrong
It sounds like a really tough situation, but your instincts are telling you something’s off for a reason. Try to stay calm and have an honest conversation with both your ex and roommate when you’re ready. Trust your feelings, but also give yourself space to breathe and not jump to conclusions until you have all the facts. It’s understandable to be upset, but taking a step back can help you make a clearer decision.
I hate to say this but nothing good can come from any of this. Don’t waste your time or effort on either of those people. You’re going to have to suck it up, cut ties with both of them, and move on. Take this as a learning experience and watch for the signs (flirting) and take action next time and by take a tuin I mean EXIT the situation, don’t try to control it, they’ll do what they want either way and you’ll just end up looking like the A-hole and be called “controlling” “insecure” etc. etc. Play chess, not checkers.
So what happened? 🤣
Update
She gone man she gone,you gonna be alright I would switch dorms thou cause you can’t live there anymore
That’s fucking brutal holy shit
Wait, confront and never look back. Sucks man, even I feel horrible in my stomach
Id be fucking pissed and I’d probably do something dumb. Good luck.
That’s some dark shit, you got this dog. Head up and keep improving yourself. Be the person she’ll regret leaving 💪🏻
run.
I’m gripped by this. Hoping for sure this is not what it is. That would be absolutely awful for both of them and you don’t deserve it.
remindme4hours!
Grow a pair and kick the door open and confront her
Gotta keep us updated on this one!
Does she have access to a bathroom while locked in there?
Can she exit through a window?
I hate that I have an appointment shortly and won’t be back to this for a couple hours. I have a feeling by the time I get back this post will be deleted.
I’m just posting so I can come back for the update later, but man…she ain’t the one. P
remindme! -1day
Get a new apartment, she been banging your roommate for a while now. He’s a shitbag, she’s a shitbag. It sucks but you’re young enough that you can move on and focus on yourself.
Thats brutal bro. Maybe thats what happened but confrontation is not a good place to go with either if them. You guys broke up unfortunately, move on and definitely move out. Its better for you mental bro
Update???
Does he have a key for the bedroom door? If nobody is in there how does he plan on getting back in?
This happened to me when I was in college. Honestly, it crushed me for days. It really wrecked me. I got lost in my own crazy and took many mistakes, hard lessons and fuck ups to eventually move on. And I did. But the truth of the matter is you never really recover. It definitely made me jaded. I’m sorry you had to experience this. My best advice is, fuck them both and move on. Move out and live your life. Get as far away from both of them. It’ll only make you crazier if you stick around and see them. And fuck that dude. He can never be trusted.
What’s the update??
I’d beat the absolute fuck out of the roommate. I’d rather be in jail than be a cuck to that type of disrespect.
I’m on the edge of my seat! Where you at? Maybe we can all come by and watch her walk of shame?!?!
Updateme!
Crazy this is happening rn
Waiting on update dude.
Good luck!
Stick with your gut, but definitely don’t confront her. Leave and move your car and wait if you feel like you need 100% confirmation. But it sounds like the trust is already broken. It’s probably time to move on.
Remindme! -1day
Updateme!
Does she have a sister
If so,go hook up with her
If not,move on,life is too short and apparently she wasn’t the “one”
That’s all I got……………..good luck
He’s probably watching for you to leave so he can tell her the coast is clear. Sorry man sounds like this is 100% what you think it is.
It was her. I’m sorry yall but I can’t right now.
Here for the update!
Ex for a reason, op, please stop allowing this person opportunities to hurt you by weaponizing whatever & whoever is near you. This person clearly does not deserve access to you, they already lost you in one relationship context, why are you still here?
Remindme! -1day
Best bet is to move on with your life regardless of she is in that room or not. You aren’t getting back together and if they are seeing each other then move out asap. You should just be up front with your roommate later and ask him. But when you ask make sure it seems like you don’t care but just curious cause her car was there. Hit the gym, eat healthy, get some new clothes, and go have some fun and meet someone new.
25 day old account. This definitely happened. 🤥
😂
Your room mate probably has been doing her for some time, she’s garbage and so is he. Try to find another place to live. Believe me she will one day attempt to call you and talk about how good of a guy you are. They always do, trust me. Be thankful you didn’t knock her up or marry her. She doesn’t deserve you. Work on yourself go to the gym focus on school and live a fruitful life. Be weary of who you allow in your life. Good luck bro
Remindme! – 1day
just find a small screwdriver and unlock it, go in
She broke up because of guilt that she was banging your roomie. You know it, it’s why you are so freaked.
This is a result you get two people showing you who they really are.
It’s a win.
Someone who cared wouldn’t do this.
Is his mum good looking?
Need the update
Updateme!
Bro you lost her when she said she had to find herself without you.
That’s code for:
“I want to sleep around and confirm I’m not missing out on anything better, if that’s the case, I’ll see you when I’m done!”.
Get some lighter fluid and set a small fire in front of the door. Gotta smoke her out. Like the little rat she is!
You were kids when you met. Still very young . The majority of childhood romances don’t make it. Cut your losses. If she says she wants to spend time apart. That means she’s getting other dick. Sorry to be blunt, but that’s what it is. Concentrate on doing great in your classes. Many more women out there once you get started in the real world.
Severe these people from your life. You can’t keep anyone who would treat you like that.
Remindme! -1day
This happened to me in college, too. I just made sure to return the favor to my roommate the first chance I got. I played it cool and a few weeks later we went to the club and some girl he liked met him there. He was NOT the one she went back with, though.
Absolute scum. I’m so sorry man. Not worth it. Move on and don’t do anything stupid. She showed her true colors, they both have. Better off knowing than not.
Updateme
This is brutal.
She must want you to know
They are #intiguing# you. You don’t hsve to fall for it
Wharwcwe reaction you have fuels their relationship
Intriguing is the maximum disrespect
It isn’t about manning up
You don’t need to react
Start acting normal and nonchalant
Let the girl go
That’s the ultimate kiss off
However you are. Better than them so don’t bother talking to them about it
Idk I’m not reading all that.. go fuck some other ppl and go back to each other after it’s over. It will happen anyway but be prepared man.
Updateme!
This probably wasn’t the first time.
Remindme! -1day
OP bro hearts get fucken torn an it hurts. There’s no remedy, feel that pain take it in and let it drive you. You cant just rip the band aid off, this ones gonna sting for a minute. Delete her pictures, block her on socials and put your nose to the future.
Also fuck your room mate, tell him hes a piece of shit and pathetic and your gonna look for a new crib. Thats some grimy shit he pulled, keep your chin up!!
Whenever there is any doubt, there is no doubt.
Also, reach out to the health clinic for some counseling support. You are getting some real shit treatment from two people close to you and deserve REAL support. Totally worth it to have a safe space to process in. That’s why they offer the service.
Keep your chin up brother, not worth doing anything stupid over a woman whose value is as close as a prostitute.
Focus on your studies and time will heal you eventually.
You’re a good man, I’d probably get violent.
Was your ex longtime-girlfriend aware of these two other women in your (deleted) post history?
Mon Apr 07 2025 18:57:45
Intimacy in a relationship
Hey yall, I’ve got a question about sex when it comes to a relationship. Last month me and my best (f) friend of 8 years started dating. It all started kind of weird. We had been friends for 8 years, and then at the end of February I broke up with my situationship (which was very toxic), got really drunk and slept with my (f) friend. I felt awful about it but she ended up confessing feelings for me, and so after a week or two of processing it I decided to give us a shot but take it super slow. It’s been a month now and things are going great…
>I think my ex just hooked up with my roommate and is still at my place
>So this really sucks, but I just recently broke up with my long time girlfriend who I’ve known since middle school and dated since highschool. We enrolled in the same college last year and things were going great til recently. She said she wanted to spend some time apart and find herself without me. It hurt but I was supportive cause I really don’t wanna lose her.
>This morning my first class got canceled and I was feeling the best so I decided to come back to my apartment. I was surprised to see her car at my place and thought it was odd. But she does have a key still so I thought maybe she was there. When I came in my roommates door was shut and it sounded like he was having sex, but he has a fan on at all times so it’s really muffled. I immediately started catastrophizing believing it was her in there. I had an anxiety attack and went to open the door but it was locked so I knocked.
>He eventually opened it shirtless and was acting weird. He had it cracked so I couldn’t see inside and seemed like he just woke up and said something like “hey what’s up?” I don’t even remember what I said next cause I my anxiety is really high but he said he was sleeping in and not feeling great cause we stayed out drinking last night. I said “oh it sounded like you were hooking up in there” and he said it was probably the TV.
>I texted my ex why her car was at my place but she hasnt even read it yet. I thought about calling her but haven’t yet. My roommate just left for work but he locked the door which he NEVER does. He always keeps it open and he was acting weird af looking over at me as he left. He asked why I wasn’t at class and I said I’m skipping today. I’m still siting in my room as I write this waiting for her to come out. Maybe I’m just being paranoid and catastrophizing but something does not feel right and her car is STILL here. I feel like crying, I’m shaking, and my chest hurts. I don’t know what to do and I’m trying not to jump to conclusions but I feel like my ex is in the room over right now hoping that I’ll leave so she can come out.
Since you found out it was her, I’m going to give you some advice.
1.) Block her from your phone and social media.
2.) Start looking for another roommate and see if you can find another person to sublet. Let your landlord know that you’re leaving the lease, so you don’t have issues.
3.) Focus on yourself, be honest when dating or hooking up, and don’t treat other women as if they’re your ex.
I promise u, it may seem bad now but it will get a fuck ton better. Ur in ur first semester of college and these people are all u know, but keep ur head up and know that there will be better days. I’ve been there bro🙏
Damn some people just like the drama. Why not just get over and live your life the best way.
If your ex said she wants to “find herself” that’s translates into sampling the 🍆🍆🍆 buffet. You can bet the house she is in your roommates room waiting for you to leave.
If she’s wants to explore her sexuality, go for it but she didn’t have to fuck the guy her LTR ex-boyfriend lives with. That is some bottom shell scumbaggery right there.
Dude dude just slash her tires it’s so simple…jk but seriously fuck her and fuck your roommate. I remember living with my roommates in college and him locking his door when he never does and her car being there is all you need to know. What floor do you live on is there a window you can hop out of? How long ago did you break up? How long have you known this roommate? None of it matters this is your prime don’t waste even one second worrying about this bullshit. These are supposed to be the best years of your life.
See you in the gym bro. Sounds strange but bottle this feeling. It will make you aware for future events. Gym will look after you, time is your best friend. Keep strong bro
We just gonna ignore the fact that 11 days ago this guy is commenting on other women’s Reddit photos. U seem to have gotten over the break up pretty quickly lol
This definitely happened. What a load of shite
Everyone waiting for an update… here you go, even though I’m not OP. Just call me Captain Obvious.
Of course she’s in there. And you can sit in the living room and wait — eventually she’ll emerge. Or, to speed things up, make lots of noise leaving the apartment and wait outside the door or outside her car. She’ll get there eventually.
OP, I’m really sorry because this really sucks… but one thing to keep in mind; this didn’t just happen. It’s all new to you, but it’s not new to them. Fuck’em both — they’re not worth it, nor are the lame bullshit lies and excuses you’ll hear from them both.
This will hurt a lot for a few days, less in a few weeks, and you’ll be laughing about it in a few months.
In the meantime, block her on everything and start making plans to move and/or boot your roommate.
Your life goes on, and you’re better off without them.
So was it her
Easiest thing to do is call her phone, and hang up after two rings and text her ‘lol butt dial, sorry’
Oh man this is good.. I need updates asap
Your heart must be falling out of your ass man, I’m sorry. Idk what I would do, but pretending to leave & waiting to catch them out sounds like a great idea. Even walking out but leaving your phone camera propped up facing his door will work, in case they are waiting to see you walk past the parking lot or something. You can avoid the immediate confronted but also get the confirmation you need from the video evidence
UpdateMe
AI or not?
Go break he back windshield with a bowling ball. You’ll feel better.
Those two are truly pieces of shit
What they chose to do reflects nothing about you. Focus on yourself and getting over her that way when you start with someone else you’ll be ready to give them your full attention. Going to the gym has been better than therapy for me. It sucks, I’ve lived it. Focus on what you want and how you’re going to get it. Time spent on your ex or the roommate is time wasted. They’ve already showed you how much they care. Focus on yourself and getting over her in a way the doesn’t harm you. Future you will be happy, you just have to get there.
Uff
Go break he back windshield with a bowling ball. You’ll feel better.
When you’ve taken a breathe, update with how she possibly defended herself.
UpdateMe!
It might not seem like it right now but as long as you use this as a stepping stone in ur life right now, 10 years from now, looking back u’ll see that it was probably the best thing that could’ve happened to u. The put it simple u dodged a bullet with that one. Focus on urself and don’t ever put urself 2nd to no one.
Update
Two thoughts on this…
You got this brother! You’ll come out stronger. And at least you dodged a bullet now. Wish you well
I would unironically wait YEARS in silence and fuck his future girlfriend
If you have control of the rent, kick the prick out.
Side note: Please don’t try and open or knock on your roommates door while he is having sex to ask him if he is having sex
Same
She’s your ex. They were probably hooking up while you were together. It’s better if you don’t know. She’s your past. Leave the apartment now. No good will come from a confrontation and another anxiety attack. Just get out for some breathing room. If it’s true, you may have to start thinking of new living arrangements. Time to put yourself first.
Good luck.
Sorry op
Go bone her roommate bro
If she is there having sex with your roommate that’s not a friend neither of them was ever your friend
Updateme
She is 100% in there. This is super shitty and I’m really sorry you’re going through this.
Cut this woman out of your life for good. Your roommate is not your friend so keep communication with him to only necessary roommate things.
Plan to get out of there as soon as you can. Completely block her out of your life. They were more than likely hooking up prior to the break up. Good luck friend.
There is value in knowing the truth and being able to move on.
Do not hang on to someone who is not hanging on to you.
oh the old “i need to find myself” line.
Update
Frozen piss disc under the door is the only acceptable response to this totally real situation.
Life advice – anyone who wants to spend time away from their partner to ‘save themselves’ is just looking for extra circular D. She will try to gaslight and manipulate you into taking her back once she’s bored of all the sex. Don’t let her. Find someone who is with your time. So sorry and good luck.
what a whore
I feel like they’ve been had something going on to be hooking up so soon after y’all’s breakup. They know it’s wrong or they wouldn’t be hiding it.
Not chess man this is checkers. Time to go to her place and meet her roommate.
I’m sorry. That’s going to hurt for a while but not as bad as your room mates jaw should hurt . One massive punch , then never look back .
Damn bro, trashy moves from your ex and your roommate. Don’t do anything rash or impulsive, you have the rest of your life for that. The people who do this sort of thing are not worth a moment of your care, your consideration, your anger, your sadness, or your reaction. They obviously don’t have that kind of consideration for others, so don’t return the favor.
For better or for worse, you’re not the only person this has ever happened to. Not to downplay how incredibly shitty you must be feeling right now, but some people have seen even worse.
Fuck them, keep your head down, carefully plan what happens next. Might have to move out or force him to move out. Might have to put them on blast to mutual friends about the classless shitbags they really are.
Either way, my condolences, King. Reach out to me or any of the other internet strangers here in support of you if you need anything.
You’re young and in college. When your wounds heal a bit, go out and ‘find yourself’
She’ll regret it when she finds out what fuck boys are lol
Only thing you can do is not give a shit. Don’t be a drama queen. Move on. Don’t weep and act like an ex owes you anything. Don’t guard the throne of an ex. And if you want revenge, show completely zero sadness or anger towards her and pretend like you’re just not into her anymore. This shit drives girls WILD. Seriously, do not be a drama queen you’ll just embarrass yourself. Pack some shit, go on a week long camping trip, tell your roommate you’re going to stay at a girls place for a bit, and just get over it.
I am an emotional guy and have an overdeveloped sense of justice. I would have pushed past him into the room. Once confirmed there would have been a major confrontation. Verbal with her and physical with him. Please don’t take this as a recommendation.
!Remindme 2days
update
Let’s be real.
It’s not the first time this has happened. You were just at class the other times.
She’s your “ex”….fair game.