Baby mama’s response to school warning her of weed smell on child is to switch schools.

I really don’t know what I should do.. but I feel like I should do something.. I’ll try to keep the details short and sweet.

I’ve got a son and daughter with someone who, while not the worst person to ever have children, has proven to be a less than stellar parent at times.

My son is 9 y/o with mild to high functioning autism.

I have a split custody schedule with his mother, where I have them from Thursday afternoon to Sunday evening.

She takes them to school Monday-Thursday.

My son’s teachers and guidance counselor have gotten to know him very well over the course of his time at the Public school he’s been going to, and are aware of his normal demeanor/behaviors. They’ve become very concerned and vocal with me concerning some changes in his behavior, and apparently have failed to get an attentive response from his mother regarding them.

He has been excessively stimming recently, and they have explained that some of the stimming they’ve seen him do even goes a step beyond that (intense hand flapping/shaking)

He’s become very paranoid of bugs, so much so that on a particular week he apparently had full on manic episodes during recess and was screaming, crying, running in fear from perceived bugs coming after him. This was for 3 days in a row a couple weeks ago and has calmed down since.

Mom was approached after the first episode, apparently brushed it off as attention seeking behavior, and after the 3rd episode they informed me. Despite me and his mom having an open line of communication, this was the only way I was informed.

I agreed to have him checked out by his pediatrician, to discuss the possibility of being over medicated (currently taking medicine for ADHD)

The morning I came to sign him out of school, a morning his mother dropped him off, the guidance counselor approached me and asked if I could smell “an aroma” coming from him. I honestly couldn’t smell it at the time because my nose was stuffy but I knew what she was asking about..I said as much to the guidance counselor and she suggested we talk after his appointment. We spoke over the phone the next day and she told me that herself, and two of his teachers smelled it and could not be mistaken, and that if it continued the schools resource officer would become involved.

His mother smokes in her apartment, and I can only assume smokes in her car. I’ve smelled it on them before. Her home reeks of it and so do do their clothes/backpacks at times.

His mother is not a rational person, and becomes immediately defensive upon being confronted with anything of this nature, and will only lie and deny. I’ve been dealing with her for almost 10 years, and having any sort of discussion in which she needs to take responsibility for a negative action is a completely fruitless effort. I can’t honestly say that I’ve ever seen her be accountable for her faults one single time. It’s truly incredible and I could go into great details about this but will ask that you just trust me, this person is impossible to speak to about this.

^thats my rationale for why I haven’t confronted her about having smelled it before. I know 😞 it’s not a great excuse and feel very defeated over this.

Well, now I have a bit of a scape goat in the school to mention this to her and sort of indirectly confront her by telling her that I’ve been confronted by the schools guidance counselor stating that herself and two of his teachers have smelled what was “undeniably Marijuana” coming from him as he walked into school on her drop off day.

I framed it to her like “hey I’m not trying to fight or even asking for an explanation, but you should know this conversation took place, and they mentioned informing the resource officer if it continues”

She said thanks for letting her know, and then proceeded to send me information on a school she was going to enroll him in for next school year. That’s it. That’s her answer. “These people care too much about my child, it’s time to relocate him somewhere where they’re not already suspecting me of being neglectful”

I don’t know if I should tell the school, talk to law enforcement, pursue custody.. I just want what’s best for my kids. They often express missing her house, sometimes on the first day that they come over to mine. I’ve often expected that it’s because they have a lot less boundaries at her home, but even still, they obviously love her and have never one time expressed being mistreated.

I think I really need to hear some perspectives from people outside of this box I’m in.