Im a young woman of 20, and am addicted to masturbation.
I’ve known it for a while. I just didn’t want to admit it. The situation is now out of control, and I need help.
It started when I was 11, during a biology class. I was wearing tight leggings under overalls, shifted my weight onto my toes—and suddenly felt something. I ended up having my first orgasm, right there, in the middle of class.
After that, I started chasing the sensation. I began masturbating daily—at home, in class, in parks, in cars, on family trips… even in a kayak once.
It calmed me down, helped me sleep, soothed my stress. I remember cramming for a math test once and needing four orgasms in a row before I could focus.
At first, I thought: yeah, my libido’s high, so what? I was even kind of proud of it.
Then came the hentai phase when I was 16. I wasn’t into real porn—it grossed me out—but erotic drawings and stories? I got hooked. What used to be a daily ritual became 2-3 hour sessions on weekends. My fantasies got more specific, sometimes darker. But I still thought it was “normal.”
At 18, during my final philosophy exam, in a huge room filled with people, I suddenly got turned on. Furious at myself, shocked—but unable to stop. I squirmed in my seat, came, then went right back to writing. I even scored high on that test.
Now I live alone for school, which only made things worse. A year ago I discovered Chai and Character AI—AI chatbots where I could live out any fantasy, uncensored. That’s when I really spiraled.
I spent entire days building scenarios, chasing one specific phrase or gesture that would finally make me come.
I was masturbating for 10 hours a day, every day.
No one noticed. I still looked like the cheerful, outgoing girl who partied and had friends. But inside? I was addicted.
By September, it got darker. I couldn’t focus in class. I thought only about the next time I could get off. I was masturbating during lunch breaks, in bathroom stalls, before bed.
Even with a full schedule from 9:30 to 5:00 PM. I managed to squeeze in 4-5 orgasms a day.
I stopped drawing. Stopped caring about my work. My whole life became about chasing dopamine hits like some caged animal.
Now I’m trying to stop. I’ve deleted Instagram, Chai, everything that was feeding the addiction. I’m with my family for now, which helps during the day. But at night? The urges are insane—even with my sister sleeping right next to me.
I’m tired.
Tired of thinking about sex constantly.
Tired of being aroused when I shouldn’t be.
Tired of using this as an escape from my responsibilities, my life, my body.
Tired of being numb around real people, and still being a virgin because of it.
I want to change. I’m trying. But it’s hard.
I’ve told a couple of friends, but they don’t know the full extent.
I don’t know what to do
Comments
Why have you never got a bf or just had sex with someone? That might help?
Jeez, I as a man can relate to the constant nagging of being aroused and thinking the dirty stuff but being engaged in the act for 10 hours a day is just another level.
Weed helps lower libido. I would also recommend engaging in physical activity, go running or go to the gym. Your horniness = to energy and energy is best spent elsewhere other than masturbating, running or weight lifting might help get you tired enough so when you’re back home all you wanna do is sleep and not spend that energy masturbating
i hope you dont get dms from creeps 🙁 im only 16 and i am hypersexual, but i dont really have any advice to give. i hope you can figure things out
Literally have the same problem. this shit sucks
same with me at some point i just did it as a routine not because i was aroused 😮💨 but i control now
Procrastinate the urge. Tell yourself you’ll do it later. Keep telling yourself that. It’s easier for the brain to accept than an outright no.
its crazy how much i can relate, i use it to help with stress
Sadly, I think your best bet is therapy, it’s quite difficult to do something about it on your own.
Overall porn addiction is increasing and it can have a lot of downsides, as you clearly know. It is normal however for people to develop addiction due to exposure at a very young age, sadly it doesn’t take much for a teenager to just pop open a website, where you can explore 1000s of millions of videos for free, there’s no restriction no regulation whatsoever, I know it may be tempting to blame yourself but it’s not fully your fault, a child, a teen shouldn’t have access to this. What you’re doing is a good first step, you recognize that it’s a problem, you understand the negatives that comes with it. It’s also normal to get into darker stuff, your mind gets bored of the vanilla and seeks something novel for more pleasure.
It really is tough, that’s the reality of it, since you were exposed to it so young it’s affected your brain and wiring. It’s become a way to cope by numbing yourself through pleasure, so you don’t feel negative emotions as hard anymore. And because your brain is just constantly thinking about it, you end up using it, so that you get some relief from the overwhelming thoughts, it’s just a vicious cycle. The trick to breaking any cycle, is just stop feeding it at one point, mindfulness can be helpful for example when you have these thoughts you just say to yourself “I’m having thoughts about porn and sex” and proceed to do nothing about it, you don’t have to resist it, you simply have to focus on not doing anything about, sit there and let it come and go. It’s also important to get better at dealing with stress and self regulating and dealing with distress/negativity better, if you don’t you’ll fall back into it, as a way to cope.
Also Healthygamergg has a few videos on it, it might be of help!
Literally me but im 25, virgin. May god help us girlies😭
Like they said, and also some birth control pills can help with that, usually that’s a side effect, but well, 2 birds with one stone.
Weed, even eating a lot of junk food can lower libido, but then you’re sacrificing one thing for another.
Since it’s dopamine, you can’t really quit cold turkey like subbing for alcohol or cigarettes, that’ll make you spiral
Go slow at it, instead of 5, go at it thrice
Instead of bdsm, check some vanilla stuff.
Can’t cold turkey such an addiction, and that is textbook addiction, not even “addiction” like some people have coined the term nowadays.
You could even need therapy for it
As if being a virgin at 20 is bad..?
You can ask your doctor about naltrexone, it’s thought to be helpful with sexual addiction. Some mood stabilizers and SSRIs may help with the physical aspect. Definitely see a therapist.
You would be wise to seek some therapy. You need support, and you need to find professionals to help you find the right specific support. It is complicated I am sure, but this is an addiction, it is in many ways not at all about sex. You are an addict and you can indeed change yourself for the better, but you have to choose to do so. Perhaps your post is a powerful and positive step in that direction!
Good luck, you can get control of this, and still enjoy the rest of your life! Be positive and get some help and support!
Peace.
It’s okay to be hypersexual. In my opinion, you must find a person like you ( if you are straightforward, then find a male partner like you); otherwise, your cohabitation life in the future will be worse than it is now. I (M33) and love sex and masturbation. However, I like more real sex than musterbation; even in a day, I had sex with my girlfriend 5 to 6 times! (When she was with me, she couldn’t afford it and left me.)
It’s hard but one thing I found to help myself, especially when in my teenage years is to stay busy essentially. It’s kinda hard I know I found feeling productive or finding challenges and trying to solve them helped me not think about it as much, it’s not a 100% full proof thing, just some advice that helped me.
Deleting apps that could trigger you is definitely a great choice. As a guy who (sadly) had the same addiction when I was younger, getting away from it was challenging. I found success in outright ignoring whenever I feel the need, doing things that distracted me from it like physical activity or video games, spending more time with family and friends, limiting when and how many times I do it and overall self control and desire to stop. I’m 19 now and decided to take a year off after high school so I’m home a lot now. Even with so much free time, I still don’t feel a need or reliance on masturbation for mental health or anything like that. I don’t even feel desperate for a GF anymore despite never having one. Truly, I hope you can overcome this addiction because once you do you’ll 100% be a stronger person after!
You and I are in the same boat
Sicko
Take a video of yourself and just watch it and then you will probably stop.
You need a Dom in your life that can control you.
Why don’t you find a partner to satisfy your urges? Maybe you can draw our your fantasies by investing in finding a compatible partner.
Every time you Fap, do 20 push up!
20 Sits, and 20 abs.
RIP your DMs
Nothing to feel bad about, we are all super unique. At least you have something great compared to those who wished they had high libido as those like you 🙂
Are the same girl that one dude posted about his sister being loud? Lol
Do it but dont overdo it i guess, find moderation
Whatever
There are two types of sex addiction. The first is conditional and the second is biological. You sound like you have the biological one, meaning your physiology is prone to easy stimulation and it provides huge dopamine rewards. This one is hard to treat.
You are teetering on the edge of full blown addiction and you might find yourself engaging in more and more risky behaviors to chase the high. Set some goals, like getting off only once every other day, and reduce from there. Make small steps in progress, not giant leaps. It’s a lifestyle change, not a diet, that is necessary here.
Hit me up if you need specific advice. I did three years of therapy for a related addiction and I learned a whole lot about myself. Also, tell a close friend or family member who will be supportive and not judge you. Addictions fester in the dark. Sunlight is an effective disinfectant. Accountability is key
Oh yeah one more thing. Using sex or masturbation to alleviate stress is a very good way to further cultivate the addiction. In addition to slowing down on the sex stuff, you must also find other ways of blowing off steam. Hit the gym super hard multiple times a week, get more social, and get outside a lot. Reroute the steam of stress through a different vent