This gets repeated as self help advice all the time but it’s not true. People are aware of their surroundings and are constantly making snap judgements and sometimes even paying extra attention to the people around them.
The difference is that they then just move on with their days.
You shouldn’t get used to thinking no one is aware of you, you should get used to having the confidence to recognize snap judgements, sometimes even right, aren’t the end of the world.
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I generally don’t pay attention to the people around me aside from acknowledging their existence
Yes yes and yes
They do. But they don’t do it and remember it for more than the span of minutes AT MOST. That’s the whole point of that phrase.
I feel like snap judgements aren’t the same as paying attention. Like I see other people around me. I’m not actually paying attention to them or making snap judgements as much as just aware of my surroundings
so, still, who the fuck deeply cares?
nobody is confused by the phrase to think they are literally invisible, bro
If you’re riddled with anxiety it’s a very helpful phrase. Doing something is generally better than doing nothing, obviously with some exceptions. If worrying about what everyone else is thinking of you keeps you from acting, then it’s some of the best possible advice you can get. You can only control yourself and your actions, not what others think of you. Best just carry on with yourself and move forward.
But I don’t care if people are paying attention to & judging me. I’ll only know for sure if they say something & if they say something inappropriate I’ll call them out.
I’m usually trying to keep an eye on my kids, while remembering my to-do list, and questioning if I turned the oven off after supper. I don’t have the mental capacity to watch my kids and think about my own shit plus watch what strangers are doing, and judge it. Unless it’s something really attention-grabbing and bad, like yelling at a restaurant server or store clerk etc. I’m not noticing or judging a bad outfit or hair style, or a stain on your coat etc.
I don’t think it’s terrible advice if it’s expound upon properly.
A lot of times people will take half of a quote and apply it too literally. If you just take the vibe of the full message then it makes more sense to consume.
People are focused on themselves and generally don’t harp on some insignificant detail that you’ve been over-thinking and stressing about all week. Obviously they’ll remember if you make a complete fool of yourself but they aren’t going to be seriously harping on the fact that some random person they just met had their fly open when you introduced yourself.
The only person who truly remembers your cringe moments from your teenage years is you.
This!!! No sense in pretending that everyone is going to like you. Sometimes they aren’t. Oh well! Who cares! The world is full of hobbies to learn and flowers to look at.
They mostly are focused on themselves and they’re not thinking about you as much as you think they are. That’s what it means. You’re just taking it too literally.
People not focusing on others is part of WHY you need to pay attention to when people pay attention to you. because you’re not getting that second chance. People aren’t going to be wondering “huh I wonder if that person had a justified excuse for whatever they did. This’ll keep me up at night now I better go ask them” Nope, that’s it. No redos.
I work in a hospital so it might my embarrassing day today but it’ll be someone else’s tomorrow
I always observe. And I notice a lot of strange things.
However they don’t bother me unless it’s like sooooo obsurd/rude/gross.
Example 1. A girl wearing literal lingerie to breakfast/Cafe. I’m not one to care about clothes OMG how did she note kicked out?! Like a see-through baby doll with thong. I just…can’t believe the confidence in that girl / the strangeness of it.
Example 2. Taking off your shoes and socks at a nice restaurant and sitting cross legged on one of those long booths that has multiple tables on it. Ew. Get your stinky feet down.
Example 3. Just overall smelliness. I’m sure you’re a cool person but I don’t want to stand anywhere near you.
Thats essentially what theyre trying to say. Even if they judge you, it doesnt matter cause theyre more focused on themselves rather than you at the end of the day
It’s a similar sentiment- it just means to don’t fret too much or overthink about something benign because chances are people didn’t think much or any of it
That being said, we shouldn’t encourage people to u seething things or do as they please carte Blanche.
Sometimes worrying about what you said, or how you come off, is just being conscious and attentive. A little bit of regret, reflection , a little anxiousness can be good for the soul even if it sucks in the moment.
It’s just not a good recommendation to those who self spiral or already invest a lot of mental energy into it.
A lot of good advice directly contradicts other good advice. The whole game of life is getting better at when and where to adhere to which
People are definitely looking at my abortion rights t shirt. Especially where i live 😂
I agree with this.
More importantly, people like to start shit with people that they don’t understand. You can be minding your own business and all of a sudden you are in an argument with a random stranger because they felt like starting an argument that day.
Most people go about their own business, but there are a select few who like to not only judge but sometimes go out of their way to create chaos. It’s the ladder that I like to consider when I’m doing anything important outside my living space.