I can’t tell anybody this
None of my friendships ever survived my relationships but i didn’t have friends before. Relationships are always toxic
My family stinks but i realize i was pretty shitty too for many years
I’m in a relationship now but it’s not passionate or romantic and doesn’t fulfill any emotional or physical needs. The bills are paid but It’s just company really. I guess like the kind that really old people find late in life?
Basically I’m pretty exemplary of the shithole i came from but this life I’m living is probably the best i could ask for. It’s pretty dang good if it wasn’t for the devastating loneliness
I can’t tell anybody this. If i did then they would throw it in my face and tell me to do better! Try harder! Be kinder to yourself and others!
Honestly I’m at a place where i don’t give a shit about most things and people. I could keep this up if it weren’t for the burden of having needs. But i don’t want to invest time and feelings in people. So i think im just a bad person
Comments
I used to feel the same way ❤️
My piece of advice. Find a hobby you cause you truly care about. Go to an activity, meeting, or cause to find like minded people and forge some meaningful relationships.
Everything you are saying sounds very human. It is normal to find yourself unhappy and unsure if whether you can find the answer to change it. Self awareness is the first step so you are already in motion.
Pick something easy to change and try it. Go hug a tree or swing on a swing. Explore the possibilities and be gentle with yourself. Who knows what you might learn about yourself with another easy step.