My sis and I have always had dogs. These days, she has a dog “Bud” that I spending time with. So, occasionally, if my schedule permitted, I’d watch Bud when she traveled. However, she eventually just would either spring watching Bud on me at the last minute, or drop him off for days at a time, again, without asking. As much as I loved Bud, it was a pain for me because I had to go home to let him out or change my plans to be sure I was home to feed him and take him for walks. I wouldn’t have cared if she ASKED first, but she just assumed I would do it all the time and it was both annoying and made me feel unappreciated and taken for granted.
A few years later, I married and settled down. My husband and I adopted a dog “Daisy.” Daisy was a sweet pound pup with one flaw, she HATED other dogs. So, having Bud at my house for any length of time was a no-go and my sister even got mad at me saying I purposely adopted Daisy so I wouldn’t have to care for Bud anymore. That truly wasn’t the case. Daisy was in a bad situation that she needed to get out of quickly, so we took her in knowing nothing of her personality or quirks. She really was a fantastic dog except for despising other dogs!
Miraculously, in the wake of this, my sister found a dog sitter on one of the dogsitting sites who was great. She was flexible, adored Bud and was a reasonable price, but she wasn’t FREE, so my sister was still kind of salty about all of it but it’s part of owning a dog. The cost is not at all a hardship for her, she just doesn’t WANT to spend the money on it.
Sadly, Daisy passed away a couple of months ago. She was an old girl and didn’t have a lot of time left when we took her in, but the loss still hurts. Well, my sister has ALREADY asked if my husband and I will watch Bud this summer when she goes away in June. Honestly, I don’t want to go down that path again because we’ll end up right where we started, with her dropping Bud off when ever she wants and as long as she wants. I just don’t want to deal with any of it. Bud is great, but if I wanted a dog, I’d HAVE a dog. Frankly, it’s kind of nice to have a bit of a break from caring for a dog until my husband and I are ready to adopt again. She has done this with other things and there is no indication she is willing or able to change her ways, so I know she will go back to her old ways, and quickly. AITA for telling my sister NO to watching Bud and having her book with her dog sitter?
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My sis and I have always had dogs. These days, she has a dog “Bud” that I spending time with. So, occasionally, if my schedule permitted, I’d watch Bud when she traveled. However, she eventually just would either spring watching Bud on me at the last minute, or drop him off for days at a time, again, without asking. As much as I loved Bud, it was a pain for me because I had to go home to let him out or change my plans to be sure I was home to feed him and take him for walks. I wouldn’t have cared if she ASKED first, but she just assumed I would do it all the time and it was both annoying and made me feel unappreciated and taken for granted.
A few years later, I married and settled down. My husband and I adopted a dog “Daisy.” Daisy was a sweet pound pup with one flaw, she HATED other dogs. So, having Bud at my house for any length of time was a no-go and my sister even got mad at me saying I purposely adopted Daisy so I wouldn’t have to care for Bud anymore. That truly wasn’t the case. Daisy was in a bad situation that she needed to get out of quickly, so we took her in knowing nothing of her personality or quirks. She really was a fantastic dog except for despising other dogs!
Miraculously, in the wake of this, my sister found a dog sitter on one of the dogsitting sites who was great. She was flexible, adored Bud and was a reasonable price, but she wasn’t FREE, so my sister was still kind of salty about all of it but it’s part of owning a dog. The cost is not at all a hardship for her, she just doesn’t WANT to spend the money on it.
Sadly, Daisy passed away a couple of months ago. She was an old girl and didn’t have a lot of time left when we took her in, but the loss still hurts. Well, my sister has ALREADY asked if my husband and I will watch Bud this summer when she goes away in June. Honestly, I don’t want to go down that path again because we’ll end up right where we started, with her dropping Bud off when ever she wants and as long as she wants. I just don’t want to deal with any of it. Bud is great, but if I wanted a dog, I’d HAVE a dog. Frankly, it’s kind of nice to have a bit of a break from caring for a dog until my husband and I are ready to adopt again. She has done this with other things and there is no indication she is willing or able to change her ways, so I know she will go back to her old ways, and quickly. AITA for telling my sister NO to watching Bud and having her book with her dog sitter?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I said no to watching my sister’s dog simply because I don’t want to although I am able to. AITA?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
NTA, getting over the loss of a pet is difficult and its understandable to take some time for yourself
NTA, tell her you are happy to watch the dog at the same rate she is paying her current sitter if she absolutely needs you to watch Bud. It is only fair that you be compensated for giving up your time and energy to care for her dog, especially now that you don’t have your own, so there is no existing reason to run home to let the dogs out.
NTA There is absolutely no way I could watch someone else’s pet after losing dog last year. It was a very difficult decision for me to adopt another one. I’m glad I made that decision, but I needed time to process the loss. There’s no time limit on grief. If you don’t want to watch Bud, then you don’t have to. Personally, I’d tell your sister to pound sand. Just for the record, “no” is a complete sentence.
NTA she needs to try kenneling the dog and then maybe she’d appreciate your help more
Nta.
Sister, i will not now or ever be watching your dog or any other pet you have. You took my help and abused it and felt entitled to my time. You took on a dog that means dealing with paying someone to care for him. I will not discuss this. Listen to any tantrums or fits. Any manipulation or guilt trips. Your actions caused this. The moment you try anything, we will be taking a long break from you up to and including family events. I am not your maid. Your nanny. Your caretaker. Yours to abuse and use when you want with no thoughts or care to my life. You are not more important.
Then block her when she throws a fit. And if any family comes at you with anything like you are overreacting or you should just help because it’s family.
Thanks for offering to take her dog whenever she decides to go off. Thanks for taking on she suddenly showed up and did not even showing basic respect to ask. Thanks for showing me you are just as bad as she is. Now I will send her your information and that you will be watching the dog for her whenever she feels like it, and I will also be blocking you. Enjoy putting your foot where your mouth is and getting involved in what doesn’t concern you.
Then block them. At some point, you walk away and ignore the behavior, or you suck it up.
NTA. The answer is “No.”
Nta. You have plans and can’t do it. That should be enough. If she wants an explanation of said plans: You are replacing the ceilings in your house. You are participating in a clinical study simulating comas. You’ve got a twilight themed larping convention. You attend nightly protests against jaywalking in your city. You’ve both taken on random 48 hour shifts at work. Whatever random ridiculous thing you can think of to say that you aren’t available to take care of anything besides yourself during that time.
NTA. Focus on the present, try not to rehash her previous abuses of your generosity and say NO.