I’m currently 16. when I was younger (around 10-11), my family had lots of budgies. We kept them in our basement and they had their own room with big cages and a decent environment. My dad was the one responsible for changing out their water and food and cleaning their cages. But he would go to work for two weeks at a time and gave me the responsibility of doing these tasks. I don’t know why, might just be laziness, but I wouldn’t do these things enough. So many of them ending up literally dying. I was just such an irresponsible, dumb kid I guess and I’ve felt like a horrible person since. What makes this worse is that my whole family thinks these birds died because my dad started buying a new type of food that had longer seeds and was for a different type of bird, which could’ve lead to them choking. But that wasn’t the reason and I’m the only one that knows. The guilt is just unbearable sometimes and I can’t tell anyone because I feel like an awful person.
Comments
I’ve been there. It was a mistake, not your fault. We all make mistakes.
You aren’t an awful person. Your brain was still developing, you had limited concept of cause and effect. You didn’t actively try to kill the birds. You just acted like a child. Your brain is still developing even now and the fact that you feel guilt about it means that you are a compassionate human being. Give yourself some grace. Talk to your school therapist if you need to. But honestly, if you were a horrible person you wouldn’t even be thinking about it. Hugs and love. Love yourself. Forgive yourself.
Signed,
A Mom
You were a 10 year old kid. Your dad is and was a dumbass for placing a 10 year old solely responsible for the life of these animals for 2 weeks at a time. I presume there were other adults in the house while he was away that could have taken care of them (or helped oversee or ensure you were taking care of the animals?) Unless he let a 10 year old live by themselves for that long, which would be even more irresponsible.
You’re still a kid, only 16, but if you are able you should seek out some therapy so you can come to terms with this.
Forgive yourself. That was too much responsibility for you at such a young age.