So last week, my friend and I spent the whole day together and took lots of really cute selfies together while we were out. We both liked how it turned out, because we both look cute! A couple of days later, she came over and surprised me with the photos printed out and framed. It honestly looked really nice, and she was super excited, telling me how perfect it would look on my bedroom wall.
I genuinely thought it was sweet and thanked her for the thoughtful gesture. But then, as we were figuring out where to put it, she casually mentioned that the printing and framing had cost about $80, and asked if I could send her the money whenever I had the chance.
I was pretty caught off guard because, to me, it completely seemed like a gift. I mean, she literally surprised me with it, framed and everything and it felt super awkward to suddenly be asked to pay for it. I didn’t say anything at the moment because I didn’t want to create tension, so I just Venmo’d her the money.
Now it’s bothering me more than I thought it would. Since im a student with part-time job paying my own rent and everything. I just feel weird that she presented it as a surprise gift and then expected me to pay for all of it afterward. If she’d asked beforehand, I probably would do a cheaper option and asked to split. But now it just feels kind of uncomfortable.
I haven’t brought it up because I don’t want to seem petty or ungrateful. But it’s honestly making me feel awkward about the whole thing.
AITA??
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So last week, my friend and I spent the whole day together and took lots of really cute selfies together while we were out. We both liked how it turned out, because we both look cute! A couple of days later, she came over and surprised me with the photos printed out and framed. It honestly looked really nice, and she was super excited, telling me how perfect it would look on my bedroom wall.
I genuinely thought it was sweet and thanked her for the thoughtful gesture. But then, as we were figuring out where to put it, she casually mentioned that the printing and framing had cost about $80, and asked if I could send her the money whenever I had the chance.
I was pretty caught off guard because, to me, it completely seemed like a gift. I mean, she literally surprised me with it, framed and everything and it felt super awkward to suddenly be asked to pay for it. I didn’t say anything at the moment because I didn’t want to create tension, so I just Venmo’d her the money.
Now it’s bothering me more than I thought it would. Since im a student with part-time job paying my own rent and everything. I just feel weird that she presented it as a surprise gift and then expected me to pay for all of it afterward. If she’d asked beforehand, I probably would do a cheaper option and asked to split. But now it just feels kind of uncomfortable.
I haven’t brought it up because I don’t want to seem petty or ungrateful. But it’s honestly making me feel awkward about the whole thing.
AITA??
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> 1. I feel weird and not wanna pay the money in my mind. 2. Its a gift but I feel uncomfortable the way she asked money for it.
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
Not the asshole. 80$ is a lot in the end and makes a difference in the budget.
Personally I would give it back to her and tell her I can’t afford it and will make do with the digital or paper copies.
Your friend needs to learn that she doesn’t get to make an expensive financial decisions for other people.
NTA. Especially since she presented it as a gift and didn’t communicate with you or get your input on the cost beforehand. For transparency, I would bring up to her how that gesture made you feel though – if you value that friendship and ask that she not to do something like that again. If you don’t care to maintain the friendship, then she can be relegated to your outer circle or even phased out in time. I wouldn’t keep stuff like that bottled up.
NTA
That was way presumptuous of her. And out you in such an awkward spot. I wouldn’t have known what to do either, and I’m middle aged!
You can either bring up that you didn’t appreciate being surprised with a bill directly or indirectly. I would go indirect myself and say something about how the framed photo is lovely, but you need her to not surprise you again because, you being a student, you don’t have a ton of extra money and you need to budget for splurges as nice (expensive) as the picture.
If she chooses to get upset it’s just not your problem (at least in my mind), she’s the one who caused the problem!
NTA. She skipped the most important part of gift giving, letting you know it wasn’t a gift.
If someone surprise you with something and then hits you with a bill, it’s not thoughtful, its a transaction. You didn’t agree to anything. Its totally fair to feel weird because it was weird. This want about money, its was about how she handled it. You’re not petty for feeling off. She just made a sweet moment feel like a receipt.
Nta she shouldn’t have sprung it on you also $80 seems like a lot were the frames made of solid oak or something? Me and my fiancee print off photos all the time as as long as you just do normal photos it’s pretty fucking cheap and you can get decent frames at the dollar store if you don’t have the photos on your phone I’d return the photos and ask for them to send you the digital photos and print them yourself
NTA you need to tell her you didn’t have the money for that, you would never have agreed to it had she asked you, and that she put you in a bad spot financially asking you for the money for her purchase.
NTA. Gift don’t come with invoice. She brought it over and told you where to hang it and asked for payment? That sounds sneaky. You didn’t agree to buy anything.
NTA. She should at least ask you first instead of cutting the corners
Was she in the pictures at all? Had she made a duplicate display for HER room with the cute pictures of the two of you??
If so, she cheated you by making you pay her share of the framed photos.
Tell her you want $40 back.
NTA
You need to tell her you don’t appreciate it.
Nta. You reacted exactly how I would. She presented it like a gift and most people would assume the same. She made a sweet moment awkward by turning it into a transaction thing. Id feel weird too.
What a rude, thoughtless person. Send it back and say no thanks!