My brother is hesitant to be in my wedding.

I (29M) am getting married in 59 days. My fiancée (30F) and I asked my older brother (41M) to be an usher in our wedding. When we asked him to be an usher he said he wanted to have a conversation with me before saying yes and wanted to give me the option to take back the invite to have him be an usher. But he wouldn’t tell me what he wanted to talk about since it “would start too big of a conversation” on the phone. I then asked if he wanted my fiancée to be part of the conversation and he said sure but didn’t seem convincing.

Fast forward a few days and I basically told him if he wanted to meet I needed to know what he wanted to talk about. He told me he wanted to talk about decisions I’ve made in the past, most of which pre-date my relationship with my fiancée. I’ve been with my fiancée for five years at this point.

Fast forward another day or two, and my fiancée and I called him and told him that it has caused a lot of unneeded stress and anxiety and because of that we are going to ask him to just be a guest but I will still meet with him. He told me he thinks it makes more sense to have the conversation first, then make that decision. But I told him I want people involved who are excited to be involved and don’t have any hesitancy’s.

I’m meeting with him on Friday (April 11th) but not every time I think about it I get anxious about it and worried he’s going to keep his kids from being involved. Any thoughts or advice would be welcomed.