A little back backstory … I had known, and had a crush on her, since grade school (so 30+ years) but we were never really friends in school. We were FB friends for years, but never really chatted. Was out one night about 5-6 years ago with a FWB, and saw her and she ran over to me and gave me a huge hug, and I wasn’t able to get her off my mind since. Fast forward a few years (last year) and she’d posted about how she left her ex (2 YO son’s father). Waited a few months and finally got the courage to ask her on a date and had told her about my long crush. She acknowledged how hard it is to do and was flattered but wasn’t sure about a date yet, so we just talked for a few months. She ended up going back to him so I thought nothing of it and kinda distanced myself to not interfere with their relationship. Fast forward another few months and she again posts about leaving him because he was drinking while she was napping and stole her car and totaled it. I continued to keep to myself but after a few weeks passed, she reached back out to me. We talked and flirted heavily for a few months and then we finally went on the date I had asked her about. Played some mini golf and went to dinner at a nice restaurant. Both had an amazing time. Between all the talking and reminiscing on times and people we both remembered, friends that had passed since school, and the date … I felt this indescribable connection to her and fell in love with her. At this time we’d only had one date, but talked hours every day, all day, sometimes til 3-4 in the morning on weekends. Everything seemed amazing. We both even talked about how we missed each other and couldn’t wait to see each other again (was hard to plan times with her 2 YO son, and his father that hardly ever took his son) continued flirting and talking hours a day for another few weeks til we found a time to meet up again … this time at her house. It was originally planned for the day while her son was with his dad, but she hadn’t gotten much sleep the night before so we changed it to night after he got home and was in bed so she could nap while he was away, and in her words “so we don’t have to rush spending time together”. So I drive out there an hour (normally 40 min drive) through a white out, get there about 10pm and we have a good time just watching some TV, playing some uno, and listening to some old 90’s-00’s music from our school days. Her son wakes up and she checks on him. Nothing seems to be off. We go back to what we were doing. Then he wakes up again around 3am. She checks on him again, but this time texts me from upstairs saying “he’s clinging to me, we’re going to have to call it a night” which I was perfectly okay with and understood. While driving she texts me “please drive safe” and I don’t respond because I’m driving. Things felt alil off for the next day or, and then another day passes and on Feb. 11th I say “I was gonna ask if you’d like to hangout for Valentine’s Day, but it doesn’t seem like you’ve wanted to talk to me lately” after ordering her flowers to be delivered on Valentine’s Day, then she proceeds to say she’s going back to school (which I knew about) and needs to focus on that and give her kids (also has a 16 YO daughter that lives with her dad) 100% of her attention. I was alil upset and tried talking to her about it trying to plead my case. Nothing mean or anything, but she blocks me. A week passed and I wrote her a letter and send it old school in the mail basically saying I know we could make things work and I’d be there to help her with anything and be her support, and just wanted to treat her like the queen I feel she is. She texts me upset saying she already explained herself, and adds that she felt creeped out by me not leaving earlier the night at her house, even though she made it seem like she wanted me there and never said anything to me until when her son woke up at 3am. And that she’s back with her ex that crashed her car (and also called her all types of names while we were talking and wished she’d up end up in a ditch unalive … and showed me the texts of such) is there any hope here to rekindle what we had for a short few months or should I just try and move on? (even though idk if I can … she was everything I was looking for and perfect to me. She had all the characteristics I was looking for including the past and having so much in common and I don’t think I’ll ever find that connection again). It’s been about 2 months and not an hour goes by that I don’t think about her and our amazing times together and taking/flirting, but she seems pretty adamant about not wanting to talk to me. Did I do something that bad or is there hope to get it all back? I don’t feel their relationship will last based on their previous attempts, but also don’t wanna ruin them being back together as a family. I just don’t see it lasting the way he treated her previously. I’d do anything to get her back, but don’t wanna push and have her resent me. Is there still a chance, and if so how do I go about it?
TL;DR madly in love but should I wait around or just try and move on.