I’m (26F) in the stage of my life where I’m actively working on my socialization skills for interpersonal development and career.
I’m an introvert (INFP). I’m currently in sales. I want to succeed, and one of the most important aspect on that is building your network. But the thing is… I’m afraid to build personal connections with new people.
There are times where I’m really afraid to reach out to people to invite them for lunch or coffee.
I’m afraid that they will judge me.
I’m afraid that they might act pleasant in front of me but doesn’t really like me behind my back (I’ve had experiences where workmates act that they like me but backstabbed me to my manager.. which is another story)
Any advice on how to deal with this fear?
TLDR; need networking advice on dealing with fear of being judged/backstabbed.
Comments
Think of it less as “trying to impress people” and more as “finding your kind of people.” Not every connection has to be deep or perfect… you’re just planting seeds.
Yes, some people are fake. But that’s about them, not you. You’ll find people who are sincere — it just takes time.
Social skills take practice. Unfortunately, your parents, teachers, and mentors have failed you so far and you did not practice over the last 20 years, so now you have to start late, get over the fear, and practice more than your peers.
Have you joined Toastmasters? Are you taking a foreign language class that focuses on conversation? Do you ask people in your network (professional, activism, volunteer, sport, hobby, or social) questions about their work and think of ways you can offer to help solve a problem? When you try to network, are you focusing on what other people need more than on how you feel and your need to be liked?