I (26F) am weirdly fixated on cohabiting. It’s a very deeply held desire. I see everyone around me moving in with their partners and living really fulfilling lives.
My partner (26M) lives at home and doesn’t currently have any goals or desires to move out, which is fine, but I struggle to cope with the uncertainty about my own future and the idea of indefinitely living alone. We’ve only been together for a year so I feel crazy for being so hung up on it.
I have been trying very hard to become comfortable with living on my own and with the idea that we might not live together for another 2 years or 5 years or 10 years. But there are times when I really just struggle so hard to cope and it triggers nervous breakdowns (he doesn’t know about this).
I fully believe that I will not find another man that comes even remotely close to him in terms of quality, so if I were to let him go over this, it would be to learn how to be on my own. But the idea of letting someone like him go just feels like it would be the stupidest thing to do ever.
I just don’t really know what I should do here. Would it be the right call to let him go to work on myself?
TL;DR: I really want to live with my partner but he’s comfy at home and I struggle to cope with it.
Comments
Have you talked to him about it? It’s a normal expectation to move in together after being together for a while. You’re not teens anymore after all. It’s not a “weird fixation”, it’s a normal progression of an adult romantic relationship.
Talk to him about it, say you like the idea of it and talk about your timelines. You’re having a meltdown over potentially living alone for another 10 years but I don’t think he’s actually said that. Just… Ask him when he sees you guys moving in together ideally and then you can decide if that wait is acceptable to you