So background.
My boyfriend and I have been wanting to go to universal after we heard about the new theme park, my birthday is coming up and he said why don’t we plan something for September when it’s a little cheaper and that would be your present. I said that would be great and I would even help him pay cause he’s never been and I know it’s still going to be expensive, plus I wasn’t expecting him to pay for the full thing. Now I never ask for anything , I never expect much. But this is a supposed birthday trip for me, I started crunching numbers right away and I was excited about the trip.
I told him an estimate and what to expect when we are there, I said let’s just stay on the grounds so we don’t have to rent a car since the hotel offers shuttles to the park. Well, he had another thing in mind , he started to tell me a day after I started to crunch numbers and came up with one that he wanted to see his friend that I’ve heard him talk about all of one time and he never talks to him. Hasn’t seen him in years, now he’s talking bout renting a car , I’m like no. If he wants to see you he can meet us at the hotel, hang out by the pool, or he can meet us at the park he gets cheaper prices cause he lives there. Like I have no problem with you seeing him but I am not going around Orlando an area I don’t know for someone I’ve never met or that you don’t even talk about.
He started talking about how we went to go see my friend in Virginia, but that was the plan to start with since her mom died… like, that was what the trip was for. He was just throwing in ights, whatever’s… like I never ask for anything and you have to act like this cause I tell you no or have him meet you on the grounds? I don’t know. AITA?
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So background.
My boyfriend and I have been wanting to go to universal after we heard about the new theme park, my birthday is coming up and he said why don’t we plan something for September when it’s a little cheaper and that would be your present. I said that would be great and I would even help him pay cause he’s never been and I know it’s still going to be expensive, plus I wasn’t expecting him to pay for the full thing. Now I never ask for anything , I never expect much. But this is a supposed birthday trip for me, I started crunching numbers right away and I was excited about the trip.
I told him an estimate and what to expect when we are there, I said let’s just stay on the grounds so we don’t have to rent a car since the hotel offers shuttles to the park. Well, he had another thing in mind , he started to tell me a day after I started to crunch numbers and came up with one that he wanted to see his friend that I’ve heard him talk about all of one time and he never talks to him. Hasn’t seen him in years, now he’s talking bout renting a car , I’m like no. If he wants to see you he can meet us at the hotel, hang out by the pool, or he can meet us at the park he gets cheaper prices cause he lives there. Like I have no problem with you seeing him but I am not going around Orlando an area I don’t know for someone I’ve never met or that you don’t even talk about.
He started talking about how we went to go see my friend in Virginia, but that was the plan to start with since her mom died… like, that was what the trip was for. He was just throwing in ights, whatever’s… like I never ask for anything and you have to act like this cause I tell you no or have him meet you on the grounds? I don’t know. AITA?
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> I told him he couldn’t see his friend and that he could meet us. Does that make me an asshole?
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
YTA
You aren’t being reasonable about this at all.
NAH why doesn’t he go see his friend for a few hours while you relax/wander around the park etc as I assume you aren’t going for just one day
Girl, NTA. You planned this trip as a birthday thing for you, and you’re trying to be practical about it. It’s a little wild that he’s trying to throw in plans to see a friend you’ve barely heard of, especially when it’s your special trip. The fact that he’s trying to rent a car for someone he barely talks to and you’re just like, “nah fam, let’s stick to the plan,” is totally fair. If he’s really that keen on seeing his friend, there are ways to do it without making you drive all over Orlando. Don’t let him guilt-trip you; it’s your birthday trip, not a random hangout session.
INFO are you the only one paying for this trip?
NTA. i agree, he can meet y’all at the hotel and hang out there. i saw another comment that said he can go and you could relax which is valid but you’re also valid for not wanting to spend the money on renting a car and whatnot when it’s just for the day and you’ve planned everything else to not have to rent one.
Oh good, you’re one day into planning a trip that’s 5 months away and already arguing.
YTA – so let him go off for an afternoon and you do something else? You don’t have to go with him but you also shouldn’t prohibit him either.
INFO . How long is the vacation relative to how long he proposed spending with his friend? If your trip is for a few days and he wants to take up a whole day with his friend I can see that wouldn’t be fair. But if you’re there a week or two and he’s just planning to visit him for a few hours I don’t see what the issue is. You don’t have to be joined at the hip. If you don’t want to go then you can stay at the hotel pool/park and he can go alone.
YTA lol you could go with him and get to know this friend, or you could be a big girl and have a nice solo afternoon and let him see his friend lol.
Like if you’re traveling all that way both of you should make the most of it and if he doesn’t see this friend often it makes sense to celebrate you and meet this person.
I’m going to Gujarat for a friend’s birthday in a few weeks & I have an old college friend there who doesn’t know the friend. I’m going to do both because when I fly somewhere it’s expensive and I might as well make the most of it.
Stop being a brat
INFO: how long is the trip and how long does he want to spend time with his friend?
There’s often a period of “What else should/can we do while we’re there?” when lots of ideas pop up, especially among those who aren’t paying particular attention to the numbers. Stick to the plan. NTA.
Yes yes yes a big huge gaping one
They have Ubers in Orlando. Or buses or shuttles to other cities. If this issue is the cost of renting a car there are other options.
NTA because you don’t know this person and it sounds like y’all are already strapped for cash to add a rental. you made suggestions that could go around that issue which indicates you do have some interest towards the meet-up/hang-out. you haven’t exhausted all potential yet and could 1. ask bf to pay for the entire rental expense because that part of the trip would exclusively be for him 2. ask friend to pay a share (if he would also be riding) or if he has his own transportation that could be used.
to give my personal opinion though, I think you’re a bit b-ey and insecure not wanting to meet with the friend just because you’re unfamiliar with the area and you don’t think this is a close enough relationship to spend physical time on. there is such thing as exploration. any friend of my partner’s, regardless of proximity, is a friend of mine because this person brings some level of interest, happiness, and love to my partner.
Yeah you’re the AH. What’s one day for your boyfriend to see his friend? Show some grace and class.