For context: I grew up in an extremely abusive household and started rebelling at age 17. Got involved with drugs and alcohol, started sleeping around etc.. That phase lasted for ~1 year until I met my now wife. I struggled with depression and s*icidality and I was just generally an asshole that pushed everyone away as a defense mechanism.
People who know about my backstory often ask me what made me turn it around or what moment made me realise that I can’t continue like this. And like most people in such situations, I did have an “epiphany” like this at one point. The issue is that’s it’s not some sort of emotional rollercoaster story, it’s embarrassing to a point where it’s funny for everyone but me. My wife is the only other person who knows, as she was there.
Now when I met my wife I was in way over my head. I was so in love with her and never wanted her to be “just a hookup”, but I was also extremely emotionally stunted. She played hard to get because she cared for me and recognized I needed incentive to change. That did work, I pulled myself together and we eventually started dating.
My epiphany came after one of the first times we slept together. She was asleep and my insomniac ass was awake and thinking lol. Kids like me will know, but being genuinely loved for the first time is an overwhelming experience and can get you quite emotional (though I was pissed too so who knows). And like 4am the thought “I’m gonna die alone if I continue like this” just crossed my mind and I’ve never been the same since. I rebuilt relationships I destroyed, I started approaching people, I married the woman I love and we’re currently expecting our first child.
According to my wife I then woke her up to tell her this, which I can’t remember and as such I’m choosing to pretend it didn’t happen. To this day when she wants to bully me, she brings up the fact that her pussy cured my childhood trauma lmao.