I hate my sexual identity

Throwaway account so that those who know my normal psudonyms won’t see this, but I hate my sexual identity despite being “loud and proud” about it IRL. I am trying to “fake it till you make it” but it’s wearing me down. I am Asexual, and that wasn’t a recognized sexuality when I was going through puberty, so my lack of interest was weird, unnatural, and that made me broken. Everything I saw said I was broken and needed therapy or drugs or that I was not interested in sex because of “sexual trauma” (and I was like “well it’s not that”) I hate meeting new people and getting to the “getting to know you” phase where they ask “so are you married” and then get the “oh, between relationships” and then when they find out that I haven’t had one… the pity. The “aren’t you lonely?” Yes. I am very fucking lonely. Sometimes people seem accepting and then suddenly a few months into the friendship you get the “hey, we’re friends, right? Can I ask a question?” And suddenly it is super invasive question time. “Do you do oral? Do you masturbate? Have you ever had an orgasm?” And the “if you WERENT ace, what would you be into?” I hate the “do you think it’s a medical thing, why you aren’t interested? Do you have a hormone imbalance?” I have had medical professionals who when they asked about if I was active during normal checkups, I said “no, I’m asexual, I don’t have sex” and got the pitying “oh, sweetie, you just haven’t found the right person yet! Don’t worry, someone is out there for you!” I am so worn out. I hate that I just don’t experience a common feeling, and I hate that I am faking being happy. I feel so broken and I often wonder if I should try a physical relationship, like, do a one night stand or something, but I just get so icked out by the thought of ME having sex.