How would you feel about a sexless relationship?

r/

Obviously this is an individual-based question but wanted to see some general trends. I’m more involved in asexual spaces and was wondering what thoughts on this were outside of that sort of echo-chamber.

Comments

  1. RRW359 Avatar

    I’d be fine but I am also an ace who spends too much time in ace echo chambers.

  2. rootshirt Avatar

    Not interested and not something I’d entertain

  3. Apprehensive_West466 Avatar

    Both would have to be ok with it, or someone’s going to have a bad time 

  4. thesoundofpetrichor Avatar

    I personally wouldn’t be okay with it, it’s an important part of the relationship to me and I want a partner that can fulfill my needs in that way. That being said there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being ace and in a sexless relationship, it just is not for me.

  5. RelaxedWombat Avatar

    It is so wonderful.

    A key component.

  6. TheApiary Avatar

    I wouldn’t want to do no intimate physical touch but could probably get along with no sex in the right relationship

  7. a4dit2g1l1lP0 Avatar

    Was in one for 20 years. Resentment would be a word I’d use to sum it up.

  8. Legal_Delay_7264 Avatar

    Extremely frustrated.

  9. Kashrul Avatar

    It’s absolutely wonderful but my opinion probably isn’t valid since I’m demisexual.

  10. heyuiuitsme Avatar

    Not interested

  11. screenaholic Avatar

    I’m fairly certain that for the vast majority of not asexual people, they would have some variation of one of four reactions.

    1. “I respect your sexuality, but sex is a vital part of relationships for me, so unfortunately this relationship isn’t going to work.”

    2. “I am going to say that I respect your sexuality but intend to try to pressure you into sex eventually.”

    3. “Fuck you prude, you’re probably actually a slut anyway.”

    4. “I frequently cheat on my SO in every relationship I have anyway, so I am going to use this as an excuse to justify my cheating.”

    I’m personally 1.

  12. AsparagusOverall8454 Avatar

    Maybe for some people, but definitely not for me.

  13. Accomplished-Act4713 Avatar

    Is it weird that some part of me thinks this could be awesome

  14. insightfulconundrum Avatar

    I hate it. Period…

  15. HollowChest_OnSleeve Avatar

    Not something I ever wanted, but it’s something that just happens to a lot of us once we get married. So then it’s really just a case of learning to live with it.

  16. Odd-Topic-8939 Avatar

    Isn’t that the end goal of all relationships ? Unless they’re together for a specific reason other than love

  17. LeighNoir Avatar

    Lots of men weighing in so from a woman’s perspective – I think there is nuance to every situation. If it’s mutual and you are both happy then what others think is irrelevant.
    If it is being driven by one side and you aren’t both happy then time to move on and find what you or your partner want in a relationship.

    For me personally – Give me all the sex please and thank you!

  18. beckdawg19 Avatar

    Single. Sex is a key difference between a friendship and a relationship for me.

  19. Subject-Education641 Avatar

    I would need physical intimacy/affection, and possibly a hall pass every now and then.

  20. Intrepid-Ostrich2937 Avatar

    I don’t rlly gaf i just need some1 to talk to fr

  21. HaroerHaktak Avatar

    Sexless relationship? you mean a friend?

  22. the_most_playerest Avatar

    Better than a relationship based purely on sex imo. If I really loved someone and thought we’d get along for life I’d be totally okay to give up sex in exchange.. that said, I have a pretty low sex drive as it is 🤷

  23. ComfortableCrow4841 Avatar

    Currently in a sexless relationship. I’m fine with it under the circumstances. We’ve been together for 14 years. We only have been sexless for last two years due to cancer and health complications. We used to joke about growing old together and how much fun we would still have when we were too old to make love. I dearly love him and our friendship. I only wish to spend as much time as possible with him before he passes. It would be lovely to make love again, but it’s not a big deal. Our bond is very deep and we are very content with our level of understanding, commitment, and compassion.

  24. FireballPhD Avatar

    Demisexual so maybe not the best to answer. I would be fine with it as long as we communicated about it and I could keep my toys. I’m not sexually repulsed so I do like sex and would like to have it if possible, but if my partner was clear about being ace and not wanting it, I could deal.

  25. Smooth-Cup-7445 Avatar

    I would just call that a friendship.

  26. TheProphesizer Avatar

    as long as it isnt an intamacy-less relationship it would be okay. like cuddle me up and stuff. but if you treat me like you dont want to touch me it wouldn’t work

  27. CruelTasteOfLust Avatar

    Nope. I’m a very sexual person.

  28. trevers27 Avatar

    Yeah, this is another area where people shouldn’t have to fit themselves into a specific box. Your sexuality might even change as you grow. It’s something I, as an ace, don’t have a lot of experience with. But I do know that there needs to be more communication about this kind of thing in couples. Or throuples. Or anything else, I guess. Just in dating.

  29. FoghornLegday Avatar

    Temporarily, absolutely. But for life? I’m not sure. If I were married to someone who suddenly had something wrong with them and couldn’t then I’d still stay with them and probably be happy anyway. But I wouldn’t necessarily commit to a relationship in the first place knowing they’d never have sex with me

  30. Doogiesham Avatar

    No interest and has in the past made me actively feel worse about myself, worse than no relationship at all

  31. zebra_noises Avatar

    I used to think I could never be in a relationship like that but the older I get, the more I desire to be with someone who can give me emotional and mental intimacy rather than just physical. Sex just seems meaningless (to me) without an emotional and mental connection. As someone else mentioned earlier I’d rather have a relationship without sex than one that was only sex

  32. Waltzing_With_Bears Avatar

    Im not sure, I think I could see myself adjusting to it or having a polycule member who is sex repulsed or just not interested, for me snuggles and physical affection are important but sex isnt normally how I want to express that or care to have it expressed to me

  33. Bogert Avatar

    Nothing wrong with wanting that… but absolutely fucking no for me dawg. I understand people are ace but if my partner didn’t want it at least 80% as often as I do I’d lose my mind

  34. SnooOnions6516 Avatar

    I’m in one against my will. (The sexless part, lol). His trauma has ruined his ability to have sex. I could look for something on the side if he allowed it, but I just don’t want to put in the work. It sucks, but I know how to get off by myself, so it’s not the end of the world.

  35. Betterwithfetter Avatar

    11+ years in right now

  36. MMAntwoord Avatar

    I’m ace but don’t read or participate in any ace spaces. This is ideal to me, it’s such a chore tbh

  37. DivinesecretReddit Avatar

    I could never but I’m sure there are people that would be completely fine with it!

  38. Fine_Dream_3590 Avatar

    I would be very sad.

    I (f37) have been in one and it was pretty bad. There was a phase in which I wanted it and he didn’t and then he wanted it and I didn’t, and I ended up “giving” to him just to avoid conflict (aka sorta coerced), and in the process I ended up “having to” suppress a part of me, my desires and needs as a human being, a part of my personality even – because I’ve always loved it and have always been very “pro sex”, in the sense of incentivising people to just enjoy life and be happy (as long as it’s consenting adults that don’t cause harm to themselves or others ofc).

    So yeah, I see how my standing could be seen as shallow at first, because it’s just sex, but it’s a human need, and I know my drive, so yeah I would be very sad if that happened (unless I suddenly didn’t have the drive or need anymore, and neither did my partner, then it would be fine).

  39. breezingthroughlyfe Avatar

    I would hate it. I need sex.

  40. nobody3_5_4 Avatar

    I’ve thought about it, because a friend of mine that was asexual asked me out once, but i feel that sex is something that i really enjoy and that it is a way to connect and make your partner feel good both physicly and emotionaly

  41. whatdoidonowdamnit Avatar

    I’d be fine with it as long as we were happy together. Sex is nice and all but I have hands.

  42. Curious-Kitten-52 Avatar

    My former husband pretty much decided he was asexual after we married. It’s not for me.

  43. aphilosopherofsex Avatar

    I think it would be good for me tbh, but I don’t think anyone will ever like me enough as a person to ever want a relationship with me that didn’t have sex.

  44. Kitchen_Panda_4290 Avatar

    I don’t care if other people are in sexless relationships, as long as they’re happy. I however, wouldn’t be interested in that sort of thing. Sex is an important part of a good relationship to me. Obvs the amount varies based on how long you’ve been together and such, but zero sex is a no go.