I DONT want to have a baby shower. But let me be more specific I don’t want a baby shower with my FMIL’s family specifically.
I’m currently pregnant and my FMIL is pressuring and pressuring and pressing me to have a baby shower but yet she’s also called the baby shower a “get-together.” Which I already suspected but come on!
Anyways, I’ve told her no, time and time again and will continue to say no and why? Because the family hasn’t spoken to me in 2 years and I’ve been told I have to reach out. Not them. Because “the phone works both ways” and all the women on FMIL’s are a special kind of spicy narcs and they all have jealousy issues with me. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY. Some even have to do with FMIL just wanting to bring me along sometimes and others just wanting to start crap for no reason.
So OF COURSE I don’t want to have a baby shower with these crap people. And they’ve done worse things, just not relevant here. But the free baby stuff is not worth it to me to deal with FMIL’s family.
BUT GET THIS. I’ve now been told if I don’t go I won’t get any of the stuff for my baby that people have bought. And you wanna know what I said?
“That’s absolutely fine.” Because my boyfriend aka the baby’s FATHER is doing just fine on his own getting everything we need for his first babygirl. He’s very excited to be a girl dad.
But why am I ranting??? THE AUDACITY. The MANIPULATION! The effin really FMIL? Just no. This is your GRAND BABY. What the actual hell? It’s not crap for me. I wish I could fit in a 3-6 month outfit. (That’s a joke) but like YOUR GRANDBABY, FMIL. this is also FMIL’s first female grand baby you’ve always wanted apparently and you wanna act like that??
Anyways, my boyfriend’s co-workers love me (I used to work with them) and it’s been hinted around at a surprise baby shower with them and I will happily rub in her face I already went to a baby shower and I don’t need anything from HER family. And plus I don’t even want to accept anything because FMIL will definitely hold it over my head.
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Shiny spines on both of you, so proud. Keep going the way you are with baby stuff. Don’t let her take away your joy.
Don’t answer her calls, don’t respond to her texts, your silence is the best revenge here. Just be aware that she may escalate before she gives up, so pls talk to your boyfriend and make sure you are on the same page.
Why is it they always say the phone works both ways when they’re refusing to pick it up and call you? They totally think it only goes one way.
Don’t go. Don’t express any interest. If she asks directly, tell her no thanks.
Making yourself do something you don’t want to do, to get money or stuff, . . . has a name. 🤣 And that’s not your character.
“I’ve now been told if I don’t go I won’t get any of the stuff for my baby that people have bought. And you wanna know what I said? “That’s absolutely fine.” Because my boyfriend aka the baby’s FATHER is doing just fine on his own getting everything we need for his first babygirl. He’s very excited to be a girl dad.”
—She played the only card she thought she had left, materialism, and it failed spectacularly. She must have felt so defeated. Setting the proper tone that she won’t be getting her way when LO arrives.
What is it with baby showers that bring out the worst in people? I am on the verge of cutting my mom off bc of how horrible she’s been treating me over my damn baby shower .. it’s supposed to be for the mom to be but everyone always wants to steamroll it 😣
It’s not a baby shower, it’s a family reunion with an opportunity for JNMIL to show off her future grandma-ness.
Barf. But great job on those shiny spines, Op!
> and I will happily rub in her face I already went to a baby shower
Don’t do this. It’s engagement and will just feed them. Keep up with the gray rock and “no thank you”.
I hope you get the ex-coworker party!
Years ago I worked at a big financial firm, and my department was mostly people younger than my ancient 30-year-old self. Good crew; only a few coworkers tried to play stupid head games on others. A very sweet early-20s colleague was going to be having her first baby soon, so we threw her a baby shower…in a conference room at work(!), after hours.
It was great. Low key, low stress, low cost. And we were genuinely all there to celebrate her and let her know we were going to miss her. No relatives, no drama.
I wish you the same, although I’m guessing your hosts will find a better venue than a windowless conference room.