27F – right now I’m a SAHM to a month old baby girl and I’m loving it. But finances are tight and to make things easier I want to eventually return to work. I wanna give my girl the best life. Not sure if anyone’s familiar with Sylvia Plath’s fig tree analogy but that’s where I’m at.
The big dream for me was always performing arts but my parents said no, so I went and got a Bachelor’s in Communications and Media and then realised I HATE communications and don’t want to do it as a job. I cannot do sitting in the office for 8 hours. It drains my soul.
I’ve been a legal secretary, educational public speaker, admin, even a funeral director. It all feels like it falls short of music and acting which is where my passions really lie. Also, most of the pay for these roles is shit.
I’ve been thinking should I go back to uni and get qualified to be a psychologist, as I’m interested in that? But is that me avoiding the big dream again? Unfortunately the big dream isn’t lucrative, nor stable. Also let’s face it, the film and music industry is full of brown nosers and weirdos and perverts. So do I just do it as a hobby instead?
I have a number of chronic heath conditions which also limit my reliability and capacity which really
pisses me off as a Type A personality. There’s so much I wanna do – learn more languages, be in an orchestra, travel the world, show my baby the world, have a nice house. Ad infinitum. But it all feels unachievable.
When did you decide what to do with your life? How do you know?