As you can see, I(21F) am in a crisis right now. I was born and raised in another country where sexual stuff is very normal from just a young age. My past relationships pressured me to do the videos and pictures. that was in the past a few years ago, I regretted doing that ever since. but I changed, I am not like that anymore My boyfriend(24M) and I met on October and got together on November last year. last monday he saw the videos and pictures in my file safe when he was trying to save my data on my old phone and move it to my new phone. I forgot that those were there since thos things were from a few years ago and I changed. when he saw it last monday he wanted to break up then and there. I went to him yesterday, cried and begged he took me back said we could try to work it out, because he cant tolerate with all the wore stuff. Today we met again, helped him with chores at his house. he was driving me home when he told me I should find a way to get disgusted with me anymore. I cried and felt hurt he was disgusted with me. I thought we were okay because he kissed me earlier. I know my past was not the best I know its hard for someone to love me when I had that kind of past but… does my past define who I am today? am I really wearing? Intimacy is important for him and if he can’t get something from someone he will get it from someone else. He says the past is also as important from the present and the future. but he is willing to work it out, even though he hates waiting. Please help me. talking it out wont work. I really do love him.
TL;DR, My boyfriend saw past sexual pictures and videos I forgot was still in my file safe. now he feels disgusted when he sees me sometimes. and doesn’t want intimacy anymore. what can I do to fix this?
my account got suspended I dont know why I really just want advice on what to do breakup is not an option for me.
Comments
Your boyfriend is being very immature and unfair.
Unless you lied to him and told him you were a virgin when you met, he has no right to make you feel ashamed about your past. I’m going to guess he has his own past, and that that’s fine, it’s just you having one that’s the problem….
I can appreciate it may have been jarring for him to see those videos but he is being hypocritical and mean, which is way worse than a 21-year-old women having a sexual past.
honestly if i were to find old pics and vid’s of my current bf with his exes i’d go insane. i’d assume maybe he’d look at them sometimes and that he knew he had them. as long as you genuinely didn’t know they were still there i don’t think you did anything wrong, your past is your past. i did the same stuff. you’re not disgusting for it, you weren’t even with him at the time. it just sucks that he came across them before you could remember to delete them. he probably can’t get the images out of his head rn bc it’s still fresh. idk what you’ve tried already but reassure him the best you can that you genuinely didn’t know you still had them, and if u haven’t already delete the pics and vids. if it helps reassure him too that you’re not like that anymore and give him time and space to think as well. good luck i hope all goes well 🙁