Hello Reddit, I am a young 20 year old man, I suffered from self-injury and I only went to therapy once because they didn’t want them to spend money on me, I grew up with it but I was very anxious these last few months I just see how everything is collapsing around me and I don’t feel the desire or motivation for anything I even haven’t seen my friends for 3 months because I stopped caring, I suspect it may be depression because of how hopeless and negative I am. The fact is that today I made a joke that at this rate we would have to mortgage the house to buy some eggs (you already know the inflation and world situation) and she started talking to my father that we millennials only have nonsense and excuses and we are all the same, it made me feel really bad because she is the same one who said that at home she only wanted men and not people who cried. Thanks for any comments
Comments
https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=0LlgDEhgGCobOy9Q
I hate to break it to you but, she’s a bitch bro. Also, a 20 year old boy is a man. ..usually.
don’t let her words affect you, just keep being you, you’ve got this
Just leave. Find a job and leave! She’s toxic.
You aren’t a millennial you’re gen Z
Yea, agree with the first comment – she’s a b. She also seems like a toxic narcissist. It’s not healthy for you to be around her.
Shrug off what she said, because what you said was spot on. Get some counseling and if you can’t afford it, try ChatGPT- not even kidding. Anything would help deal with the environment you’re in.
Your mom has a messed up view of masculinity. This is real tough time, future seems bleak but we gotta work toward a better future. You can love your mom because she is your mom, while knowing she is wrong and not sharing what she is incapable of hearing. Start to take steps to get independent, go work out..physical activity is great for our brains. Be purposeful about developing and maintaining friendships. If you dont have one, develop a plan for your future. Training, military, school, Job with upward mobility..whatever moves you forward. Job market is gonna be tough for a while but it will cycle. Create a plan and as soon as you can see a councilor, there is no shame in that.
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Hey man, I know the whole… everything is incredibly overwhelming and bleak right now. And has been for awhile frankly. Please realize you are not alone in feeling hopeless and terrified and paralyzed.
That being said, you also have every right to feel personally really hopeless and depressed. It’s not because of you age or generation either, btw. That’s silly. Your parents are likely millennials or gen x, both infamously miserable and the older they are, the whinier. Your mom likely complains about her shit whenever she feels like it, right? She doesn’t know how to help you so she mocks your issues. That sucks and it’s a shitty thing to do to an acquaintance, much less your own kid.
Try to find something that gives you a bit of hope. Start working out. Make art, even if you are not good at it. Look into political organizations in your area that are organizing. We have a serious fight against fascist oligarchs on our hands, and we’re going to have to work together to survive. Look for mutual aid opportunities… Volunteer at a good bank, your humane society, local library, senior center, look around your area. Helping others is a great way to get a bit of hope.
And take advantage of medicaid while you can if you’re eligible. If you’re unemployed depending on the state, you should be eligible. Sign up and get therapy. You are obviously depressed and therapy can be a game changer.
I’m sorry your mom took her anger at the world and herself on you. It’s not your fault she’s mad. I hope things get better for you, and for everyone.
Call the su@@@de holiness. I don’t know it, Google it.
I know it is impossible to think about getting dressed and walking outside. Do it anyway.
You don’t need to do anything.
Just breathe in the fresh air.
Lol… not holiness, hotline.
Stop crucifying yourself.
If you ever like to talk with someone who is ..a bit off, reach out. As long as you don’t get flirty, I’m willing to see if we have things in common that may help you vent certain things with me that you don’t feel able to with others. I might not remember you so mention that i said to reach out or you may get ignored. Feel free to look into my reddit account and see what I’m about.
Unfortunately in this world we can’t choose our family, so we are given some shitty people if we like it or not, keep pushing for the life you want, when you figure it out and never become the people that hurt you. Shitty people ruin their own life anyway so no need for revenge.
You are at that age where the world sees an adult but inside you are still a child needing support and guidance. Some people "grow-up" younger than others — I always thought it was because they felt unconditional love and were brave enough to face the world earlier than their age says they could. I don’t think I started taking responsibility for myself until i was well into my 30’s, possibly due to selfish and distracted parents. You need other people- adults- in your life other than your mom to confide in . Take it easy on yourself, too
Damn. I’d avoid your parents for your own mental health. I hope you can afford therapy now. By the way, lean into Buddhism. Meditation works great for anxiety.
My mom is the exact same way. I’m 30 and I separated myself from her 2 years ago. I didn’t completely cut her off, but our contact is only a check in on birthdays and Christmases. Honestly, it feels really god to distance yourself from negativity and shitty comments. Just do your own thing and live your life and you’ll feel so much better.
I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. It’s tough when you open up about something serious and get dismissed, especially by someone who should be supporting you. Your mom’s response sounds like she doesn’t fully understand what you’re going through, and that’s frustrating. Mental health issues like depression are real, and it’s not just “excuses.”
Even if it feels discouraging, try to keep seeking help, whether it’s therapy, support groups, or other resources. Therapy can make a big difference, and it’s worth pushing for the right kind of support, even if it feels hard to get at first. You deserve that help.
"I’m the result of your parenting. What does it say about you?"
But seriously as a 20-year-old regardless of who it is it’s time to take a stand. If someone is speaking to you disrespectfully or offend you if it’s your parents or the president you have a right to defend yourself.
I don’t recall anyone in my family using my age against me and a mean-spirited way. But then again I was more of a serious child a serious teen and a serious adult so I didn’t typically say or behave in an immature way. There were others in the family who were young and immature and I don’t recall that being used against them either.
But if I had to correct my parents or an elder, when they offended me I would simply say :
"You know, what you said just now was offensive. I’m still young there’s a lot that I have to learn, but it doesn’t mean that you have to put me down when I try to engage with you. I you continue to put me down ,and make me feel bad about myself, then I’ll stop cheering with you all together. There are mean things I can say to you about your age like your ignorance of technology, or that you are bitter with old-fashioned ideas but I don’t do that because I respect you. But I’m an adult and I’d like us to relate to each other with mutual respect.
I did have to have a tough conversation with an aunt of mine and I invited her out to lunch and talked to her about my issue. Which was any time I confided something in her, she sent it through the grapevine of the family and everybody knew about it. That was back in the 90s when I was in my 20s. I’m 54 and she still hasn’t changed we’ve been estranged for different stretches over the past decades and about 4 years ago I finally let her go forever. She is unwilling ans unable.to change.
She knows that I am an incredibly private person and I’m very selective with who I share my personal business with. But she just could never keep my confidence. And it never failed some well-meaning relative would try to give me advice on my "problem" they shouldn’teven know about. Sending me into a silent rage.
The last time I had to talk with her I told her that when she discussed my personal business with people who were not a part of my life regularly and who were not a support system for me that she was simply gossiping. 4 years ago we were having a conversation and I thought we were okay but then she made a comment in a snide way saying "And I wasnt gossiping". I was like… where did that come from? It’s part of a conversation we had a long time ago, but obviously she’s salty about it. I had always told her if someone wants to know about me other than "Oh she lives here, works there, she’s doing great, you shouldcall her." Then they can call me themselves. It’s just a huge pet peeve that people don’t take the time to get to know me, communicate directly to me, but yet they’re privy to all my personal business without doing the work. They don’t deserve to have my innermost life if they don’t even speak to me, like ever.
Never mind that the same aunt will tell me zero about anybody else in the family. Mean zero.
So I know how you feel and I know it can be tough but that’s part of being an adult is standing up for yourself creating boundaries and teaching people how to treat you and letting them know when something is unacceptable. It’s not fair that they can go around doing and saying whatever they want to you with no consequence.
“I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, and I can tell how much you’re struggling. It’s tough when it feels like the people around us don’t understand what we’re going through. I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to seek support. Even though your experience with therapy in the past wasn’t ideal, it might be worth considering again, especially with a therapist who can better support your needs. Reaching out is a sign of strength, and there are professionals who truly care and want to help. You deserve to feel better and find ways to cope with everything that’s weighing on you. Go and treat yourself to a massage, or go to nice restaurant and have a nice dinner also, reconnecting with your friends or even just getting some fresh air could help lift your spirits a little. But you really need to sit your mom and dad down and tell them how you feel in a respectful way because at the end of the day they are your parents and I truly know how you feel. Sometimes parents can say and do things that really hurts with no filter and that’s not right because you have a voice that deserves to be heard. You’re not alone, and things can get better. Please take care of yourself and reach out if you need support.
I was in therapy with a guy whose mom always called him a pussy. He’s 40 and still fucked up about all the abuse and had drinking problem. The pain doesn’t just go away you have to heal it. I suggest you get some therapy and move out ASAP. She’s never gonna respect you as a man.
I believe the number is 988 in the US
Your county public health department has physical, mental, and dental health resources for everyone who lives there to access. As you are legally an adult, you do not need your mother’s assistance or permission to get the resources you need for yourself. Counseling will help you recover, live, and thrive- to be your best self.
Parents are supposed to want their children to find happiness, health, and independence. It is a parent’s responsibility to support your needs as you grew up. I grieve for you that your mother is not fulfilling her responsibility to you, and has become a barrier and hindrance. (I am Gen X but an attentive parent who is still working to support my children’s happiness and health, every day, though they are adults as well.)
You will love your mother and respect her regardless of what harm she may bring you, including treating you without respect as if your needs matter less than what she wants. This is not right of her. A good parent works alongside with you for your strength and for building your skills to take care of yourself and your responsibilities. This is not your fault, in any way, no matter who tries to blame you for her actions; please, do not blame yourself.
Counseling through public health. Search by your city name, then county name, then call. You are a resident of the county. (Citizenship status does not matter to them- only your health matters to them, and I promise you this as a former employee of public health and now a patient there.)
I am grateful you have found some support here at Reddit, and that you are trying hard to feel better. This is good progress in a healthy direction. Good luck, OP. The world is better with you in it, and we are here for each other when any one of us feels down and saddened.
grow up son and yes you seem to be complaining of things while probably not even contributing to anything and obviously Reddit going to be on your side most of the Reddit is same as you get job move out or get job help around