I am ridden with self hatred. For reference I am a high school senior graduating with an associates, and I have a 4.6 W GPA and a 3.9 college GPA (62 credits) and a 1500+ SAT.
I have spent the entire summer working on my applications, my essays have been praised my my college and high school english departments. I’m ranked #2 in my college program. I am also taking advanced math for someone my age (in this case linear algebra).
I am also very very involved in school and have raised money for non profits and student scholarships (around over 30k), and have started a club that is very relevant for my major and have done multiple successful projects that have accumulated thousands of dollars and have made an impact on my community. I’ve done things like student government, 700+ hours of volunteering, etc. Frankly I thought I had an outstanding application.
I applied to only 6 schools, my state flagship (45 percent acceptance rate), 2 state schools (70 percent acceptance rates), 2 out of state schools (50-40 percent acceptance rates) and one reach school (10 percent acceptance rate). I was confident that once I get into my state flagship I would attend. I understood that compared to many of my peers I have better stats and I thought better chances of getting in. I am not saying this with intent to put them down at all. They are genuinely good people, I am trying to express that I have higher academic stats than many of them for context. They are all accomplished in their own ways and I am proud of their college decisions and they deserve it in their own way.
Spoiler alert: I didn’t get in.
All of my friends got in and they were confused that I didn’t get in. For the following weeks I was on-and-off crying and I had no motivation to do anything. I just had my fingers crossed that I would get into my other colleges I applied to. Then I was hit with MORE rejections. The only schools I got into were my safeties and now I am questioning my abilities.
I sent some of my essays and supplementals to some people online and they told me they were amazing so I don’t think that was the reason I got rejected. My LOCIs for when I got deferred from one school were perceived as “impressive” and they were confident I would get in.
I didn’t.
Now I can’t face telling my classmates and friends who are asking me where I’m going that I’m going to or where I got accepted, so I lied about two of my college decisions (The most prestigious one and another). People were like “YOU DESERVE IT!!! YOU WORKED SO HARD!!” and they’re okay when i tell them that I’ve chosen my safety because they gave me a scholarship and want to save money.
That makes me feel better.
I just want to put that out there because I hate myself internally for not being able to even get into my own target schools. It’s not like community college is an option for me since I am graduating this year. Additionally the weight of my real college decisions have been weighing on me so hard that I have gotten into a depressive episode and my grades have gone to A’s to C’s and D’s. It’s too late in the semester to turn it around so I don’t think I can get accepted as a transfer since they will be on my college transcripts.
I hope nobody recognizes me from this. I am deeply ashamed of myself but please recognize that my deepest fear is for other people to see me as unworthy. A person who recently got admitted into a school with a <5% acceptance has been making fun of me for not getting into my own state school and “being rejected everywhere” so I feel like I need to resort to this to prevent others from seeing me this way. I care a lot about how others perceive me and I would rather live with this guilt instead of being seen as stupid over college decisions.
Thank you for reading this.
Edit:
I just woke up and I literally saw this post blew up quite a bit. Thank you so much for your support and kind words I appreciate it from the bottom of my heart.
During times like this it seems like college results are the lifeline of many high school seniors egos. I was always afraid of saying I was rejected from all of my targets and reaches because I did not want to be perceived as stupid or worthless by my fellow students or kids my age who were able to get into a good school.
Many of you made me realize that this is only a bump in the road and what is of my future is what I make of it. I understand this year of college admissions was particularly rough and there are so many people my age who are going through the same thing as me.
For me personally, I have been raised in a household where being able to attend a prestigious college was an expectation of me since I was far ahead of my siblings in terms of academics and I always hoped to get into my state flagship (UMD in this case). When I received my rejection it felt like all of my doubts and hurtful words of people telling me I won’t make it because I am autistic and whatnot that have been sitting inside of me for the past 12 years have been gutted and that my worst nightmare came true.
Thank you to everyone who made me realize that the world doesn’t end at 17 and there is a whole life ahead of me. To any junior or senior reading this, I just want to say that college admissions are sometimes just beyond your control and to take off a lot of pressure on yourself to get into one because your college decisions should NEVER define your self worth.
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The most successful people I know didn’t even go to college, or dropped out after a year or less. It really just matters what you do with your life outside of the grades. What are your dreams? Why is your choice of college stopping you from achieving them? Don’t be depressed. You’re smart and you’re going to be okay.
Figure out what you’re interested in . maybe take a year off . really college isn’t everything. Best of luck you will figure it out
I has a class mate in this EXACT situation. She took a gap year and did a study abroad before trying again. She fell in love with the country she went to that she ended up moving back after she finished college.
I think you also need to understand that if you are applying for a very popular degree that only has a few spots open, that can be the difference between you and your friends. If they are looking into doing a different degree to you, they might have more spots open. I work for a university, we have a nursing program and a medicine program.. Nursing has 90 spots, medicine has 45 so of course more nursing students are getting in.
I’d also keep in mind that once you start your degree, usually after the first year you can transfer to another college. Totally stick to the story of going to the college that offered you a scholarship as that is a smart choice.
You are graduating with an Associate’s Degree. This is quite possibly hurting your chances of being accepted into a 4yr program as an incoming freshman. Check with the schools you are interested in to see how they are handling your applications. You may have a better chance of getting into programs with a different application approach.
My teen graduated a year early with high marks and lots of college credit hours. We had to be very careful with how we filled out her applications to make it obvious she was entering college as a freshman without an earned degree.
Colleges can tell when you are lying
My mom applied for college 4 times. My brother’s girlfriend applied 5 times. I applied twice. Trust me I know the feeling, so did my mom and my brother’s girlfriend, but it’s really not the end of the world. I’m so glad that I got the chance to finally go to college after failing once, but I was so ready to fail again, just like my mom did. Take a year off, study what you want to study from home, maybe take a few courses or work for a year. Time is wasted only when you do nothing with it, so if you spend this year focusing on yourself or on earning money, like I did, you definitely won’t regret it. Everything you do in this one year will have a significant impact on you and may even change you forever.
You’re clearly a highly motivated person with a very bright future. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, and I think it’s a good sign that you feel some shame for lying. One day when you’re highly successful in life you’ll look back on this as a valuable learning experience that helped you get to where you are. You’ve got plenty of life to live!
You were probably rejected cuz they thought you would def get admitted into better unis. But you really shouldn’t give af how others perceive u
I wouldn’t sweat it. Go to the safety school, you may end up really enjoying it and making great friends.
Also, people transfer all the time. So go, and f’ing crush it. 4.0. Activities. Student leadership. Intramural sport. Whatever it takes.
You will then either:
1) Have a great foundation for the rest of your time at the safety school.
2) Have a great resume for transferring.
Setbacks happen in life. The key thing is to not let it derail you too much, and it will ultimately teach you resiliency which is very important. Good luck!
Just go to a community college and do first 2 years there. It’s way easier to transfer to a nicer school after and you save money
I have a few friends who went to community college for 2-3 years and got into Berkeley and uc Davis
I went from community college to uc Santa Cruz. This is in California but nothing wrong with going to a cc.
I’m sorry this happened to you. You have your whole life to figure out your next steps. This is not a reflection of who you are as a person. Go in and talk to your guidance counselor or social worker and work with someone to have them help you and talk you through your next steps. This is just a little blip in the rest of your life! Also if people are judging you for this, then fuck them.
OP, I’m so sorry. I don’t understand why you didn’t get in. You can grieve as long as you’d like. When you are ready to move forward, you have a few options.
The first option is to attempt to get in the following year after taking some courses at your safety school.
The second option is going to your safety school, saving a fortune in scholarships, and rising to the top as one of their best students. When I compare all of the people I’ve met, the ones that went to better schools weren’t usually the most successful ones. I’ve found the people that went to more affordable schools and excelled there opened up way more doors for themselves.
The third option is to go straight into the work force. You already have an associates degree. I wonder if this is causing some of the rejections because maybe the colleges are expecting that you would want to attend as a transfer student instead of as a four year student… either way, you’ve got a degree. This may or may not be the wisest option depending on what kind of work you would go into.
What’s certain is this. Your life worth is not determined at age seventeen. And getting into the school of your dreams won’t guarantee you success.
I’ve heard a lot of stories this year about how hard it was to get into school. I don’t know why this is occurring, but don’t let it get you down in the slightest. If you’d like to go to one of those schools, you can reapply next year.
No biggie, use it as motivation to prove those who rejected you wrong.
You’ll have great experiences at university. Don’t go down in the dumps before your first day!
Frankly the more selective schools can be brutal and super competitive and they don’t guarantee a better job. When you transfer they apply a different set of criteria and they have a much lower amount of spaces available. Additionally some majors are even more competitive and the school usually doesn’t do a good job at telling you what the specific majors requirement cut offs are so it’s not likely anything you did or didn’t do. (Some people purposely apply to less desirable majors to get in and then switch later)
You are going to come out enjoying your experience much more at a safety school without as much of the pressure. You will be more likely to come out at the top of your class and be able to stand out to potential employers. It’s far better to be at a school that really wants you vs one who barely let you in the door.
What’s your associates in? What degree do you want from college?
I’m so sorry about your situation and that you’re feeling so down. I’d say try to be optimistic about it— you earned a college degree while still in high school. A lot of adults, such as myself, don’t have a college degree at all and would love to be in your situation.
Lemme let you in on a little secret: prestigious schools don’t actually make that big of a difference for your career outcomes. There’s a skew towards producing successful grads because that’s just who they accept. As an individual, the most impactful feature by far of your time at uni is your level of networking. That is, taking internships, joining professional organizations, and building relationships with professors. Prestigious universities do tend to provide more of these opportunities, to be fair. But I’m sure a student with your level of initiative would be able to accomplish these things perfectly well at any school. It’s just a matter of doing your research and reaching out.
If you still end up wanting to transfer: If you bust your ass your first semester and keep up what you’ve been doing in HS, then no one will care that you had a bad moment. What matters is how you pick yourself up from that moment. That’s what shows character. Plus, lots of kids do great in HS and start to struggle in college. If you do well then you’ll stand out a little more than you do right now. I think you have a shot at transfer admission.
Hey kiddo, listen to a Mom here. The same thing happened to my son. He did fantastic in high school, spent all 4 yrs trying to be top-notch so he could get into a top-notch university, and he didn’t get in. Not a single one. He went to community college for a year and applied again. Again, not a single acceptance. He did his second year at community college, reapplied, and was ONLY accepted to the one college that is guaranteed to kids who attend in-state community college. Not a great school.
There’s a fantastic book called “Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be.” Read it. Please. It is worth every penny.
Yes, it’s ok to feel badly because you didn’t get into college. Go ahead and sulk for a day or a week, but make sure you set a time limit on sulking and come back to the real world.
The rest of the story… my son was determined to make the most of his time at the “not-so-great” university. He went outside his comfort zone and did a lot of fun things in addition to academics. His senior year, he was chosen to study abroad at one of the top universities IN THE WORLD for his major.
I’m sorry you didn’t get in and I wish I could give you a hug, but please hold your head high and I PROMISE you this is only temporary and will make you stronger down the road. Feel free to DM if you need some encouragement.
College acceptance seems like the most important thing now, and how others perceive you is crucial to you. Please know that’s a perception for you that’s right now, and not permanent. I promise you, your perspective will change and evolve (one hopes!) Not everyone you encounter gets to vote on how you live your life. Lots of people have opinions, as you mature relatively few should matter to you. Easier said than done, I know, but please consider carefully.
I didn’t get into my first choice, and my friend with lower gpa & test scores did get in to my first choice. It was down to major choice. I took the safety school option, ended up changing my major a few times – had a fantastic school experience; and I’ve said it’s one of the best mistakes I’ve made. I was lucky and stumbled into a great lucrative career. I’d have burned out in my school of first choice.
When you’re in the professional world there are only a few professions that really care which school you attended, and then it’s typically graduate schools that matter for creating networks. Most organizations only care that you completed your degree. Focus on knowing your worth; focus on your skills and talents and expanding those. Get your Bachelors degree and solidify those A’s. Do what the next steps are for your chosen focus area. Change your focus when necessary.
Perspective. Is the person who mocked you someone you care deeply about? Yes? (You need to question their importance in your life and their maturity if they mock you – not cool) …No? (then their opinion means little. and to counter – this internet stranger is impressed with your tenacity and congratulations on getting into two schools of your choice – I’m proud of you) It’s okay. You didn’t need to lie about it, but I can understand the urge, and it’s something to just move on about. Your life will unfold in amazing ways if you look to the future, plan and work according to your own values. Forget about the lie and let it go. Be thrilled with your opportunity to study and learn in a university environment.
Please consider; you are the one living your life. You only get this one. Living someone else’s expectations wastes your energy. Shame similarly wastes your energy. If someone else has ideas – they should go focus on living their life, not yours. You’re ultimately responsible at the end of your life to say what you spent time on was joyful, meaningful, and worthy. Absolutely everyone will have an opinion on what you do. You can and should be very discerning about whose opinion you care about.
The appropriate platitude here is "Those who matter don’t mind; those who mind, don’t matter"
Good luck to you and I hope your college experience is a springboard to something exceptional.
I concur, you do exceptionally at any college then your prospects for getting into another more prestigious school is way better then when you applied out of high school
Im 47 and am just admitting here, for the first time, that i got waitlisted at fking Colgate. I went to Wesleyan and got way less than friends pushing through state schools at night right now.
Whats important is you. Fuck everything else! You will make it through embarrassment and depression and everything else… I promise. You dont owe anyone anything other than not being intentionally hurtful to them. Look at all the truly evil people we see everywhere everyday and give yourself a break .
Hey professional therapists kinda kick ass. Separated from your world completely. Ive done alot of therapy in my forties and alot of that time was someone just telling me i was allowed to think the stuff i think. Literally just repeating you are allowed.
You transfer into the school.
Hey, if you dont mind, let us or let me know that youre doing ok as you move forward. I know how hard stuff can be. You dont deserve the shit you are telling yourself. Can you take time, work for awhile? I felt i had no choice, that it just happened that way. Id kill to have my chance now. Omg what id get to study that i hid from then. I so wasted 4 years.
Man, college admissions are literally the Hunger Games but with more rejection emails. The fact that you did all that and still got curved just proves how random the process is. It’s not about you, it’s about the system being a mess. Your worth isn’t tied to some admissions officer who skimmed your app while half-asleep. You’re gonna do great things no matter where you go, and in a few years, none of this will even matter. Stay strong, you got this .
If you hadn’t already chosen, I would have told you to speak to your guidance counselor. Personally I’m confident that yield protection is at play here. If a guidance counselor would have helped you, I bet they would have advised you to drop quantifying things like number of hours you volunteered and the amount of money you helped raised and if you did quantify a lot of things then I’m willing to bet there are other things concerning your application that made you vulnerable to being red marked for "Tufts syndrome". Top schools have to use yield protection to protect their marketability. All decent schools stand to lose donations when THEY get turned down a certain percentage, If you have an application filled with things that make you look like you did a bunch of things just to get into a great college then your achievements(which is 100% impressive otherwise) aren’t worth the risk. Depending on the school only like the top 2% can override being red marked. Long story short , lots of traditional overachiever academic stuff, no explicit hobby or talent, over detailing achievements=Tufts syndrome. For anyone else that might read this and don’t want to be in same spot(&thousands of hardworking smart kids are) here’s some tips. 1) Always use dates for volunteering. Make sure mention what you gained personally from the experience. 2) Don’t quantify everything you did
3) Make your interest in the school personal. ie Talk about planning and looking forward to participating in local and campus life like wanting
to audition for their choir. But for you OP, please don’t feel bad. Life threw you a lemon. Don’t let it bother you anymore. Just focus on being able to move forward and celebrate the end of HS. I promise you your college life will be exactly what you make of it.
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I had a friend in a similar situation, he applied to universities overseas. He’s now also fluent in Arabic, met his wife there, ended up working for a think tank etc etc.
Go to the safety and have fun there, coming from someone with the relative same background. I also got rejected from my state flagship but ended up getting into reaches. Pretty wild that’s how it went down but to save money I choose a safety that offered me a lot of aid and who’s culture I liked.
I chose the safety primarily because of money, debt is serious business. However it wasn’t just based off money, it was also about fit. I went to the campus, talked to students and made an informed decision, in the process turning down offers at more prestigious places and full rides from other similar or higher ranked schools.
At the end of the day, the prestige won’t really matter outside of the t15s, it’s more about the experience. I’d encourage you to let bygones be bygones and focus on being the best student you can and especially getting work experience. That’ll get you further than a degree from your reach + debt could ever do.
Btw if you ever want to/need to transfer apply to more than 10 places. What likely happened was you were “too good” for the state flagship and so they decided you thought they were a safety and likely wouldn’t attend if they admitted you. And thus they offered the seat to someone more likely to attend. The way to mitigate this would’ve been to just apply to more places, I applied to over 20. For transferring I’d say definitely do at least 10. But make sure they’re places you’d actually attend and not you checking the boxes.
I don’t know what state you’re in, but it sounds like you did Running Start. My daughter completed Running Start and by doing so is guaranteed admission as a CC transfer student at every state school except the UW. Might want to contact admissions directly, or contact your Running Start coordinator. Regardless, don’t stress, you’re entering college as a junior two years ahead of your classmates. That’s 2 years of tuition costs you won’t be saddled with.
Drawing inspiration from Dr. Strange movie, why don’t you just contact them and ask why you didnt get in?
College is what you make it, go somewhere and invest in yourself. Call this suffering growth and hold your head up to the horizon
That really sucks, I’m sorry that happened to you. Get some of your favorite foods/snacks, indulge in something that makes you happy. For now, focus on yourself and cry it out whenever you need to. This kind of rejection is like an unexpected loss. Let yourself grieve that one possible future you had imagined for yourself. And then you can think about what other possible futures you can have from now on.
There are so many different reasons behind any school’s acceptance/rejections that it won’t do you any good to question if it was something to do with numbers, with extracurriculars, with the number of applicants for one major or the other, etc. Hell, it might even be the school’s own hidden budgeting cuts for extremely specific things. Those reasons are too obscure to help you.
But you can still focus on what you know for sure. You are a hard worker, a smart student, and an earnest human. There will always be a place for you as long as you look forward.
Plus you made it hard on the schools. Your competition is looking to waste 2 years on cheap undergrad studies and half will flunk out, free money for the college. You are serious but in an odd position because you just graduate hs and are half way to a bachelor’s.
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Also, i hear colleges are racist in the US, ESPECIALLY towards asians. If you are asian and denored such in your application, this may be why. There are lawsuits going on right now over this here.
I’m going to let you in on a secret, where your degree is from doesn’t matter to anyone in the real world. Once you’ve graduated they won’t ask what your GPA was or how your SATs went. They’ll want to know if you can do the job and do it well.
Listen…I did nothing but screw around and get in trouble during high school. My GPA was shit and I was going to go to the military but I got pregnant instead, took a gap year, and spent the next 11 years busting my hump to get a bachelor’s degree. I was poor, sometimes I had to work two jobs to get by, I raised my kid by myself. I had to go to community college to catch up basically, and because it was way cheaper I got all my pre-reqs out of the way, got my GPA up, and transferred to Purdue. Where I have since gotten a bachelor’s and two professional certifications and now make a very comfy six figure a year income
Life rarely works out to plan.
Have goals, keep a sharp vision. Work hard. I know I know, you’re thinking – I’ve been working hard and look what happened! Yeah look what happened – you got accepted into several colleges. That’s wonderful. Does that look different than you’d hoped? Yeah, sure. It’s okay to feel sad about it. But don’t trash yourself – you did great! You know how many people never get the chance? Some of us had to fight tooth and nail to make it through.
Life is a journey. It’s not a destination, cliche as it may be. I’ve found everywhere I landed led me to something greater – trust the journey. Keep working, I’m telling you, it’ll pay off. Your path is still brighter than many will ever be lucky enough to know. Have gratitude for that – it might look different than your initial plan, but see my prior point about life and plans. It’s an opportunity to rethink your plan. Jump in and delight in what’s next. And for fucks sake don’t have kids for awhile!
Here’s the thing. You having excellent academic stats might actually work against you. Those schools that you applied to, there’s a chance they thought you were TOO good for them, and that they might just be "safety" for you since you would most likely get accepted into even better school, that’s why they just denied you so they would have spots for those who might actually go to their school instead. This also boosts their stats as well.
But guess what? The future can change. Go where the wind takes you, and make the most out of it! Good luck! 🍀
Telling you this as an adult with friends in many fields, especially tech and web/development – 4-year-college is basically a scam. They all agree that the best way to get hired in tech is to lie through your teeth for your first job and then immediately turn that first job into a second, better job.
It barely matters which school you attend. You’re paying to have a good time for 2 or 4 years and to graduate with a piece of paper that puts you into the same bucket as a trillion other people.
I’m sorry your applications have not gone the way you hoped. I know it’s easy for me to say, since I’m not in your shoes and feeling down like you’re feeling… but in the long run, this won’t affect your career. It will be ok.
For now, I would stop lying, as in, stop telling people where you were accepted and where you weren’t. That’s nobody’s business but yours, and lying about it isn’t helping you or anyone else.
Eventually, you will come to see this as a minor disappointment that wasn’t worth all the feelings of shame and rejection. You’ll make a life, and it will not be either all roses or all thorns just because of what college you attend.
It’s perhaps more important to learn the lessons about dealing with people: you see who you can trust and who you can’t, you understand better how to treat people and what not to say in a situation like this, based on what others are saying and how they’re treating you.
Realize that it’s frequently better to excel at a less prestigious institution than it is to struggle at a highly selective one. (I know more than one person who has flunked out of such a college, leaving them saddled with a lot of debt and nothing to show for it.)
> I care a lot about how others perceive me
Here’s hoping that college teaches you to move past that. It’s nothing but a ball and chain around your ankle. Life is about seizing opportunities.
I’m sorry u are going thru this.
When I was 18 (long time ago), I applied to 2 Ivies and didn’t get in. Super disappointed. I went to my state school, it’s one of the best public universities but I didn’t want to go there bc my heart was set on the ivies. (I don’t want to name drop the school or reveal who I am).
I ended up having a great time in school. I’m old now and it was one of my formative memories in life. Don’t beat yourself up too much over this. Pick up when u are ready and try again.
When I eventually settled down after high school, I went to a junior college and did really well. After, I went to the local campus of my state school and was so much better than everyone else that a lot of professors were very interested in supporting my education and gave me research projects to do, etc. Because of that experience I transferred to the University of Chicago where I got a masters and then to Columbia where I got a PhD. There are always a professor or two at state schools who are excited about getting to educate a bright hardworking student vs a professor at a world class school where everyone
Is the smartest student in the room, and it boils down to the professor’s personal preference or the student’s interest in the professor’s research.
Please don’t doubt yourself. You have an amazing resume. I wish the acceptance people would be more upfront as to the stats of who got "in".
I personally think this is due to something beyond your control- race, gender???
In the long run this will make you stronger. Don’t be ashamed of telling people you didn’t get in. Fuck those school’s that didn’t accept you. You did everything right. This is one of those things in life, where you get effed.
Keep on plugging, go after your dreams because those that have to work harder are always more successful in the long run.
Once you graduate no one will really care. But if you are determined, simply attend your safety school for a year and transfer to the prestigious state school once you demonstrate your ability. And if they don’t accept you the first year, do it every year after. If only attend one year and graduate with will have that university name on it
Go to city college and tell people you can’t afford university. When you are programmed to go to college right after HS it may seem so unfathomable, but life is long and it won’t matter long term, I promise you. Go to CC, and then transfer to your State college, no one will care after you graduate. Your diploma won’t have an asterisk, employers won’t care. Seems like the end of the world, but it’s not. You will do fine, stop worrying about what others think and start the rest of your life.
i think you need to understand that you worked really hard, and you can’t control your outcomes. Please work on accepting yourself, praising yourself for how hard you worked, and be gentle on yourself. You took care of what you could control. Now be easy on yourself, and just make the next correct move. You could ruin your entire twenties if you can’t let go of these things that you can’t control. (source- I was too hard on myself in my twenties and had a bad time because of it. It takes a lot of work using lots of different tools using lots of trial and error. and I am still working on it. To the outside world, I have a great career.)
If I was you, I’d be looking to get advice from someone in the industry as to why you’re getting rejections. You sound like an absolutely outstanding candidate, so there’s a disconnect somewhere that should be fixable.
And look, ultimately, with the pace at which you’re going, college may end up being irrelevant to you! I commend you on scores and on your extra-curricular level of activities!
There’s plenty responses so I’ll be brief, remember no system is flawless, occasionally they reject a brilliant student. You aren’t a failure because you didn’t pass a man made process
honestly taking a gap year isn’t a bad idea if you can swing it financially. i kinda wish i had done that after finishing high school, some life experience would have done wonders for me in choosing my major.
Honestly, it’s better to be a big fish in a little pond. An example is my friend got into a couple of Ivies for law school but got a scholarship at a smaller, less prestigious school. I told him to go where they are literally paying him to go to their school. Sometimes he felt less than but, he ended up getting a better education because he got way more attention from professors. He easily got the best summer associate positions because he was the top of his class while the students at the ivies were scratching each-others’ eyes out competing for the same opportunities.
He ended up graduating with a JD, with no debt. Because he was top of his class so he stood out and was able to benefit from the connections he made with professors.
You’ve worked so hard in the rat race of HS. Maybe take a gap year and do something that makes you feel good about yourself like volunteering internationally for a cause you actually think matters. You build self-esteem by doing esteem-able acts not by comparing yourself to others. Good luck! Sending good vibes your way!!!
Call your state school and say you’re actually interested and they aren’t a safety and you’ll definitely commit to go if they accept you
Dude, when you are in the thick of it, it seems like such a huge deal, but you have to try to keep some perspective on this. It doesn’t matter. You got into college, you will go to college, you have all the tools to be successful in life no matter where you go, even if it IS community college for a couple years, even if it’s not the path you originally thought you were going to take. More important than getting into Harvard is having the resilience to fail at something and still keep going, to accept yourself for who you are, the ability to get through the pain and disappointment and know that you will be okay, your friends will still like you and respect you, and most of all you can still feel proud of yourself for how well you did in high school even if you don’t end up at the college you hoped for. Also demographically this years class is the biggest population, so the most applicants and the toughest year to get a college acceptance in generations, cut yourself some slack.
For being as smart as you are try to reflect upon what’s really important and reassign the enormous value you’ve given to others opinions on how you calculate your own self worth.
For different reasons than high school reputation goes far in the real world you will find strength of character, dependability, honesty, consistency and reliability much more valuable components of your reputation than any of those metrics used to gauge educational successes. NOBODY CARES… and as such factors of your reputation.
I’m my career I have been blessed with the opportunity to work alongside some of the smartest,selfless,and most altruistic people on this planet.
I don’t deny googling the credentials under the meeting table and being impressed to discover that I’m sitting with colleagues that have multiple doctorates from MIT, Harvard, CalTech, or had worked on projects for NASA, Skunkworks, or for some other very visible and prestigious companies. I shared a cubicle with a retired nuclear submarine captain, another was one of the Blackhawk pilots flying in Mogadishu during the famed Blackhawk Down occurrence.
While these people and or the lives they live and had lived are impressive and uncommon.
it’s not their academic successes that have aggregated this unusual group of unique talent and skill.
These people all do have similar traits and while from many different backgrounds (imagine upper crust of society manhattan in the same room as backwoods Alabama roll tide hothead)
They all are principled, dedicated progressing common goals, show up when they are supposed to, do what they say they will do, admit when they are wrong, and they are all quietly humble asking me to teach them the slick new way to increase our deliverables to client.
Not a single one of them call attention to thier own impressive successes but all quietly invest in the success of the team, their colleagues and our clients. They all pass recognition on to others and you have to either Google or hear it from others to even known the depth of their success.
Consistency is the hallmark of success
I don’t remeber where that sub captain did his undergraduate. I don’t look up the test scores of the MIT professor leading our feasibility study. Everyone notices if a team member isn’t present.
Everyone know who the first person in the office is each day or the one always there when you leave
Integrity isn’t something you get from writing a essay or archieving good marks in your classes
Enjoy this time of learning and remeber that the learning doesn’t really begin until after you graduate
Unless you are intending to practice law, engineering, or medicine and to an extent even those fields will be learned taught and understood while doing it. Ask any college graduate to describe to them the most useful information that applies to thier current career learned in the lecture hall.
College provides very useful experience and allows us to practice mock scenarios and test our ability’s to argue our point of view more confidently or interact with a group of hot women without being nervous.
The most important lessons you will get at university can be had at any university and if you can find an ability to redirect that same intensity into the application of and sharpening of those necessary social skills while adhering to solid core principles of character nobody will care if you learned about strengths of materials at Texas A&M or in Calcutta
I think I’m gonna go brush up on my ability to relay my point more succinctly.
Always learning and the appreciating the enjoyment of it
Ok whoa you gotta stop. You’re literally putting yourself down over the opinions of others. Sorry to tell ya but the only opinion that matters is your own. What’s important is doing what makes you happy. No one else matters. You need to calm down on the whole opinions of other people forefront.
Likely rejected because they figured you would not attend. With those stats you could’ve gone to an Ivy League. This happens often – schools see your app and think you have no desire to actually attend. Very important to visit and show interest for this reason.
I would go to the safety and transfer. You have crazy good stats and could get into many great schools
Sometimes life is a blessing, and sometimes life is a lesson. Right now you feel like you have missed a huge blessing, and it’s completely ok to be sad and grieve what you thought your future looked like.
But here’s the thing- sometimes in life, we’re redirected without realising. I’m not one that believes in god, but I do believe that timing is everything and even though it feels like this is a failure, it might lead to things you don’t understand now. Friendships, career opportunities, the love of your life.
Maybe the above applies to your mindset, but as someone that’s 35, every time I feel like I’ve ‘failed’ I’ve found that I’ve landed on my feet in a way I couldn’t see happening earlier that turns out better, or it’s turned out that the opportunity I thought I missed at work turned out to be a nightmare for everyone working on it.
Chin up- you never know what life has in store for you and you’re right on the cusp of making some incredible memories.
Also there’s nothing wrong with spinning the truth like you have- everyone has their own way of talking about stuff that hurts us or makes us feel like we have failed. Takes the sharp edges off of the rejection.
Hopefully you’ll come out of this with a key life lesson: where you go to school doesn’t define you in life. There are going to be so many more things ahead of you that people use to define themselves, the quicker you learn, the better off you will be. In the end it really doesn’t matter.
Not to state the obvious – but your stats and essay are great. Test scores great. Extra Curr- great? How does your social media look? Also are there any DEI issues? 2025 is making me sad. Also— it may depend on your major. There are usually less spots for someone transferring in their 3rd year.
I had this experience but entering graduate school not undergrad. After being one of the top performing students in my physics program, I was rejected by nearly all programs and wait-listed at one. A few days before the deadline I was accepted off the wait-list.
This severely hurt my confidence and I felt like an imposter in a sea of other "genius" physics students. It definitely caused a lot of struggles to the point I almost dropped out of the program. But after persevering, I graduated with my Ph.D. and slowly but surely realized that I was as good, if not better than my peers.
You are not defined by any acceptance or rejections. You are not defined by what school you go to or what others think of you. An application is only a small reflection of you and can never truly show what all you are capable of. Only you get to define where your boundaries are and you have clearly shown (and will continue to show) how much you have to offer.
I understand that it still hurts right now, and definitely will for some time. But as someone who fought through a similar situation and came out the other side, that pain is a distant memory. I remember the successes and joy I achieved along the way and that nothing will ever stop me from being the best I can be
Unless you get into an Ivy League school it doesn’t matter what college you go to, or if you go at all.
This IS a bump in the road ! My daughter is your same age. Shes went through a similar situation, they even insulted her by saying she can “do 6 hours at their college” and the rest of the hours at some college down the road she had never heard about.
She decided on the more affordable college with the less stress. She was over her “dream” college when they agreed she’d basically be a “Guinea pig” so this dual college scenario they’d made just for her. Like “ you’re not good enough for us yet, but we will keep you in our pocket just in case”…
She moved on. This will all pass. I was pregnant at age 17 and I am a full time college student currently at the community college to get my associates in paralegal. I got lucky and it’s one of the only schools around that I can get my associates at for this career.
Life goes on, don’t let your family make you feel pressured. You sound like a great person with a lot to offer this world. And f#ck all those poor quality people that say ANYTHING about you and to you . It shows how pathetic they really are 🤷♀️
Submit an appeal! This happened to me and I got accepted after my appeal.
I had great stats and was in the same position. I ended up going to my safety safe school and was super bummed. Everything happens for a reason and everything is working out perfectly. I’m exactly where I was supposed to be, but I remember the rejections being brutal and embarrassing.
I went through basically the same thing. High achieving in general, top GPA, top SAT scores. Everyone around me expected me to go to an Ivy. I didn’t get into any of the schools I applied to, only got into one, my safety in state school. This was years ago but I remember being absolutely crushed and just sitting in my room crying, confused. It really can be so crushing to experience as a young person. Felt like end of the world. Your confidence is completely shot. Things you defined yourself by felt like they are gone and that you were mistaken.
Thing is, there are blind spots that are easy to miss. You spend so long on these applications and other people tell you everything looks perfect and all. But there are external things that you and people around you missed. Others on this thread already pointed out a few possibilities. Things that have nothing to do with your worth, like your choice of a competitive major, the way that the extracurricular was presented, too good of an application for the target school, etc. With some time and distance, you will figure out what the blind spots are – might feel unbelievable right now, because you feel like you gathered all the information already. But you will get there.
Be gentle with yourself and let yourself slowly heal. If that means telling a few harmless small lies to protect yourself because you need it, that is okay. And then you will crush it at your college. And you can transfer later if you want. Sure, they might see the anomalies in your current grades, but a year or so out they will most likely focus on the more recent grades for courses more closely relevant to the programs that you are transferring for.
That feeling of inferiority might haunt you for a little bit, but don’t let it take over your life. It can if you let it.
I ended up getting top grades in college, had an absolute blast socially. (It was amazing, and my teenage self would not believe me, but I am so so thankful that I didn’t get into any other schools, because it lead me to this path) And then the high grades allowed me to get into a top tier grad school program. No one looks at the earlier schooling you did if you upgrade them later. You can always transfer, or do a grad school master program later, if this really gnaws at you still later.
Take care! Also, that person that is going around making fun of you is a foul person. Who cares if they got in a <5% school? They are ugly inside and you should cur them out of your life and your sight. Just saying.
This seems odd, is there something that’s getting overlooked that’s causing the rejection? If you have better grades and metrics you absolutely should be getting into any school they are. If not I’d be raising hell to understand why, was it race based decision? Was it gender based? Does the school have a DEI policy that’s screwing you over?
If you’re really that far ahead of your peers and not getting the same acceptance they are you need to figure out why.
This was my EXACT situation in high school. Had the grades, gpa to get into all my schools but I got rejected from them. I decided to apply again and this time I said my major was undecided, I got into the 3 schools I really wanted
So, here’s the thing, schools look good on resumes. But in practice they don’t really matter that much. I’ve been a respiratory therapist for almost a decade. I only really got asked about school on my first job interview after graduation because that was the only relevant experience I had. I’ve worked 8 respiratory jobs since then (pandemic health care traveling not just super flighty) now that I have this experience school just never comes up. People ask in passing occasionally but even that is infrequent. I even just interviewed for a new job a few weeks ago. School only came up because the man interviewing me thought I looked like a student he had previously. I didn’t go to school locally to this job so I cleared that up. They asked no follow up questions. Not about my gpa, nothing. What matters is what you learned in school. How well you apply it. Your qualities as a person. You can make great friends and memories in school. But professionally it’s a line on resume for 99.9% of what you’re ever gonna do with it, a talking point.
As a 33 year old person who came to this country in 2015, I was in your shoes in my home country. I couldn’t even get into any colleges and ended up in a 2 year college. This didn’t mean that I was an idiot. After coming to the US in my 20s, I went to a community college, kept my GPA high, and got transferred to NYU. Sometimes things happen late in life and don’t be afraid of community colleges if it is the only option. I know a guy who went to Columbia after going to my community college. There are lots of great students going to great schools from community colleges.
All this will sort itself out over the years. You end up exactly where you need to be.
Also, is this Florida?
It ain’t that deep bro, it’s college not life.
It’s never too late for community college?? Why is it too late?
Don’t sweat it. College admissions isn’t exactly a best scores and gpa gets it. They receive numerous applications like yours every year and tons of them are just a backup and these people never actually attend.
You don’t have to know what you’re going to do right now. You can change your mind, change direction, or change careers at any point in your life. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. You’ll be fine and you’ll do fine. All of the pressure you feel right now is from a system that’s built to take advantage of you. Wake up in the morning and put your pants on. When they’re on, be a good person and go on about your day. Do what feels right and have fun. You only get one life. You don’t have time or energy to stress about this stuff. Put it behind you and move on. Best of luck.
One day you’re gonna wake up and not even think about this anymore. You’ll soon realize you were being incredibly hard on yourself. Life goes on and so will you. The only thing that will matter will be your professional and personal accomplishments.
Damn, wrote like a true loser. This is perhaps the most hilarious read i got in a while, thanks for that.
It am sorry you feel bad about yourself. My telling you not to won’t help. I will say as a mom, aunt, and professional communications/ media/ publishing specialist in the private and public sector, 90% it is how and what you do with your degree, not where you go to school. There are some great articles to support my opinion. Take a moment to grieve and then refocus on the end game. Also, take time to also love this time. If you are in the U.S., go study abroad, explore internships. embrace learning.