It’s common in abusive relationships for the victim to be expected to be a perfect victim who never fights back and left immediately. This is rarely the case. A combination of trauma bonding, codependency, ptsd and plain “fight or flight” instincts will often cause the initial victim to fight back in sometimes extreme ways.
If someone does something abusive repeatedly in a relationship (emotional abuse, sexual assault, infidelity,etc…) I believe the victim is justified in doing the same back and in some cases even worse. I think the abuser should learn that actions have consequences and often the victim taking the “high road” results in the abuser never being punished for their actions.
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Hence the term, self-defence.
That’s self defence
This is probably only unpopular with the abusers who want to keep their perfect victims
Reactive abuse is not abuse, it is self-defense.
It’s self defense.
For physical or emotional abuse I agree. But if you try to abusively one-up someone for cheating, you will get screwed in court
I get what you are saying and I agree based on past experiences. I don’t know if that makes me morally corrupt.
Violence is always justifiable when theres no other means to acheive something.
This works for both good and bad stuff.
Abuse is not a two way street. Its the victim lashing out, reacting, ir whatever, and it may be violent. There is no ‘perfect’ victim, but they still deserve safety.
reactive abuse is not a thing unless its an unjustified response, like someone name calling, so you beat the fuck out of them.. stuff like that. self defense and not “reactive abuse” exists for a reason. you get to fight back. They don’t own you and they don’t deserve a say over your autonomy. fight fire with fire. but make sure you bring an extinguisher or everyone burns.
Self-defense is knowing how to make it clear you’re not gonna take shit to the face for no reason
Or, they can just leave.
As someone who has been in an emotionally abusive relationship—doing it back doesn’t help. It exacerbates and escalates. It furthers the trauma and digs you deeper into the hole of the relationship.
If you can, the best thing to do is to leave.
Not to mention the narcissists who think they are being abused and so abuse more. Nah. Just leave.
This isn’t just a bad opinion. This is dangerous imho.