I accidentally sent my friend off to another state, for some context it was 2014 and i was about 14 or 15 years old. I lived in a gated community, and i had 3 girlfriends i hung out with everyday that all lived in the same area. Lets call them Kate, Jenny, and Jess. We did everything with each other, but some of us girls in the group like to not include us others.
In this case, Kate was hanging out with Jess one night and didn’t think about inviting me or jenny. Kate lived a few doors down from me at her aunts house, where there she only stayed with her aunt, jenny lived around the corner and jess lived up the block. Now, we have experimented with alcohol, i don’t know where we go it but we got it. Kate had a history with acting insane especially while drinking as one time she used a butter knife and threatened to take her life in front of a group of 20 people, but thats another story.
This night in particular, jenny came over to my home around 6pm because we noticed how Kate nor Jess invited us to hang out with them, so we did our own thing. Around 10pm Kate and Jess are posting video of them drinking, taking shots. Me and jenny decided to text and call them but get no answer. Around 12:30am (midnight) Jess post a video of Kate driving her aunts car going about 100mph down the freeway way, while jess was hanging out the window. After seeing that video, me and jenny both freaked out as Kate does not have her license or permit to drive and they were also drunk and underage. We tried to get ahold of them but we were sent straight to voicemail, we didn’t know what to do at the time but thinking about it now, we should have called the cops.
The next morning we informed my mom of the situation and jenny’s mom, showed them both evidence of the situation on jenny’s iPad. Our moms both marched over to Kates aunts house to show Kates aunt (who is hard of hearing btw!) what Kate was doing the night before with jess. That same day, all of kate’s social media was deleted, messages stopped going through. Come to find out, her aunt sent her to go live with her grandma in Ohio (we live in California on the coast). We had no idea she was getting sent away, it changed our friend group dynamic and friendships so much, i cant imagine how much it must have been for Kate.
It’s been 11 years now, me and jenny are still friends. But i cant help to think what we did to Kate, we changed her whole life but we had no intention too. We did not know her aunt was going to send her off like that. Im carrying this huge weight of guilt, i did something wrong and i regret it, but at the same time i hope she is living her best life wherever she is even if that is still in Ohio, maybe it was for the best because of her reckless behavior.. i still miss her everyday though.
Comments
Lots to unpack here.
First and foremost, you didn’t change her whole life. Given what you shared here the odds are very high that Kate had substantial behavioral problems which you simply didn’t know about — nor should you be expected to since you weren’t her family and you weee just a kid.
The drunk driving event was probably the final straw in a long line of misdeeds by Kate, and her relocation was undoubtedly an effort by her family to address the self-destructive issues she already had. I wouldn’t be at all surprised to learn that Kate had been on thin ice more than a few times in the past and her aunt had decided or realized that she couldn’t solve Kate’s problems, so Kate was relocated to a place where she’d be better attended.
Kate changed her own life and it was going to change in one of two ways.. in Ohio with her grandmother or dead, more than likely with Jess, after doing more stupid shit while drunk. Do not feel guilty. She made her own decision and should be grateful that you more than likely saved her life.
You have probably turned Kate into a deranged drug addicted alcoholic in and out of prison probably 😫😩🙄