In general, I find human brains fascinating, so maybe it’s just me. But I try to do things like train my own brain to react differently subconsciously to external input by, for example, anthropomorphizing my car so I’m more aware of changes in how it sounds/feels when something is wrong. Does it work? I don’t know, maybe.
But yeah, the idea that you need to train yourself that you can break rules. What do you think? Are you someone who feels compelled to follow rules even when they’re kind of irrational or inapplicable just because they’re rules? Do you think you’d benefit from personal training on rule breaking? Do you think being strongly compelled by rules is a disadvantage?
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I had a stretch of time when I was growing up where I was experimenting with this exact concept.
When I was little, I had a very hard time not breaking any rules. I wasn’t scared of punishment, but doing something “I wasn’t supposed to” gave me a lot of anxiety. I got tired of having this anxiety and feeling left out, so I started ignoring some rules.
It started with watching TV shows at friends houses that I wasn’t allowed to watch at home, using swear words at school, little things.
I was wilding out a little on highschool, but never went too far or got into trouble with the law. By the time I was an adult, I think I actually had pretty solid respect for rules and where they apply. Breaking rules and seeing the results helped me understand why they were in place, and if I disagree with a rule I have a better understanding of why
I have always had a bit of an anti-authoritarian streak in me. I don’t follow rules just because they are rules. In general, I don’t like being told what to do, but I will comply if either A: the rule makes sense and I am persuaded, or B: there are negative repercussions for breaking the rule that outweigh my desire to break the rule in the first place.
I think what you’re doing is a good thing, and most people should probably get into the practice of breaking small, inconsequential rules, because (assuming you live in the US) we are living in a crazy time where some horrifically unjust rules are starting to come down all around us. If you practice daily in breaking those small rules, you’re much more likely to have what it takes mentally to break those bigger, unjust rules. We need people who think for themselves and who have the courage to stand up for what is right in spite of what some fallible authority figure dictates.
I think it’s fine to become comfortable with breaking rules if you have a very strong moral compass and a lot of empathy.
But a lot of people rarely seem to think about the externalities of their actions. And even the most considerate person is going to be selfish sometimes.
So, relying on intrinsic motivation to ‘do the right thing’ may be a little risky. Instead, maybe keep internalizing those rules, so that following them is your first subconscious reflex, especially if you’ve thought about why they exist and why they might be reasonable.
I am hypermobile. I intentionally train stuff like twisting my ankles. The stronger my ankles are, the less likely they are to sprain when I accidentally twist them.
I do that with the rest of my body too, and only do free weights. Lifting something the “wrong” way or reaching for something in an awkward way. The more ways my body is used to moving, the more resilient it is when something unexpected happens.
A more productive, healthier version I know of: Integrity is a muscle so you have to exercise it on small things so you can use it when it matters. Same for self-control.
In my experience it’s true for these, so why not tolerance to breaking rules?
You can train your brain to do anything. Justifying an action after-the-fact is another thing people do.
That said, a rule has to make sense. If it doesn’t, I’m sure as hell breaking it.
I’d never heard that term until this post – but I think I’ve kind of been doing some forms of this for most of my life. Having a very “structured” home growing up, with strict and anxious mom – as I got a little, maybe jr high / HS, I started realizing I didn’t HAVE to do ALL the things in “the right” way. Some things are just fine done differently, or not done at all. I think it’s a valuable part of mental development to rethink things and discover for ourselves what matters to us and what works for us, etc. I do teach my kid the same thing.
Understanding why the rule is the way that it is, is superior to simply obeying the rules.
Rules are made to be understood and consentually agreed with as an ongoing conversation about what is necessary for safety, enjoyment, and mutual respect.
If that core tenant of consent and respect is violated, baked into the rules by force and irrational performative abuse — the rule maker, and the rules, are on the chopping block to die.
Teach people to understand how rules are made and why they are made. Not simply to rebel for the sake of impulsive and selfish impulse. The same impulse that causes Authoritarianism is rooted in that very same impulse to ignore rules out of personal inconvenience and cheating, forcing others to comply while opting the self out of mutually understood participation.
The thin line between anarchy for me and autocracy for thee is thin and slippery.
We avoid that by communicating the purpose and mechanics behind our reasons, and accepting that things could be different under different negotiated terms at any time.
Here’s a tool. Practice sneaking into places that you are allowed to be. Buy a movie ticket then get all the way to your seat and all the way through the movie without showing it to anyone. This will help you practice the confidence you will need to deceive and sneak.
I’ve heard of it, and it reminds me a bit of what I read in “Resisting Illegitimate Authority: A Thinking Person’s Guide to Being an Anti-Authoritarian” by Bruce Levine. I think it’s a good concept with an asterisk in that it depends who you are and the crowd you roll with, if you’re already used to getting your own way then I fear it’ll just be taken as a license to do what you want gussied up with rebellious gloss. To some, leaving gates open in the countryside and kicking mail boxes are peak punk rock, to others what anarchy truly is, is organizing your local business into a union-run co-operative and setting up a food not bombs chapter. One is getting too much of a calisthenic work-out, the other that’s immersed within political anarchism probably won’t need it, but for us in the middle. We could probably do with being less uptight and compliant.
I’m not sure how much I’d personally benefit, to me my view would be to do what someone once described as “Good Trouble”. Figuring out what fights to pick that are worth it, and kick up a fuss. That kind of mentality carries on even to people who follow rules, as knowing when to resist in their own way they can engage in “Malicious Compliance”, following the rules to the letter in such a way that obedience becomes a hindrance to authority rather than an asset.
Whether people break or follow rules, I think it just comes down to the mindset like not being afraid, and knowing other people likely have their back if they’re doing it for a cause people can sympathise with, rather than feeling like doing something out of a peculiar sense of personal development.