First time posting so bear with me. I’m writing this because i’m struggling and hoping to get some feedback about a sexual experience with my boyfriend. We have been together for 4 months. I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he asked for sex. I told him, “No, later,” and went back to what I was doing. Maybe five minutes later, he asked again for sex. I told him the same thing, “No, later.” About five minutes after that, he asked again, this time it was different he said “please i’ll be quick”and I just took off my clothes and went to the bed; i know i could have probably just walked away but i didn’t because I felt pressured and didn’t want anything bad to happen like a previous time. But it wasn’t like the other times we had sex. I didn’t even kiss him or anything. I should also add that he knows about my past sexual trauma (which was absolutely way worse than this)
he was very remorseful and told me what he did was wrong, but I’m still struggling. Am I overreacting by feeling hurt by this? What are your thoughts?
TL;dr I felt pressured into having sex with my boyfriend after saying no multiple times he knows about my past trauma and was remorseful, but I’m still struggling. Am I overreacting by feeling hurt still?
Comments
wait is he responsible for your past trauma? or is his remorse because you told him how shitty this was?
regardless, that’s so awful. i’m so sorry this happened to you. pestering and begging is definitely emotionally coercive. but even if it wasn’t: i cannot, under any circumstances, imagine wanting to have sex with an unwilling partner i had to whine into compliance, who just laid there, obviously miserable, while i “got it over with quickly.” that’s beyond disgusting. yet it seems it didn’t put a damper on his erection at all. that would scare me, if i were you.
of course you’re not overreacting. this was dehumanizing. you’re not a goddamn masturbation toy. he treated you like one.