Hi, so I(21M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been together since we were 16 and I love her to death and plan to marry her one day. But lately I feel that sex has started to become a bit boring (for lack of a better term.
Don’t get me wrong, it still feels great and things like that. We have had conversations about our “desires types” before, she is more responsive and I am more spontaneous. Which basically means that she needs a lot more build up to sex than I do.
And that brings me back to my first point, we always initiate sex the same way almost every single time and I have started to get bored. I want more randomness if you would call it that.
I know this isn’t the case but, it makes me feel a little insecure that she doesn’t feel the same way about sex as I do. Like I could see her and she looks absolutely incredible and be ready. But she is not that way and it kind of stinks.
But I feel bad trying to ask for more spontaneous things because I know she is not like that. And I want her to feel the best she can.
TL;DR- my girlfriend has a different sex drive than me and I’m afraid to ask for more spontaneity.
Comments
well you guys have been together for awhile so it’s not wrong to ask for more, no. ask her to watch porn, try different things, maybe bring toys in… anything. no just tell her you wanna explore more with her. maybe butt stuff?? idk she’s ur partner just ask, if she has any brain cells at all, she’ll understand where you’re coming from.
Ask if she’s willing to compromise. Maybe you can double down on making the build-up even more enjoyable for her and add some new twists to the routine. Then she can sometimes give you some spontaneous sexual fun, too. Give and take. Don’t be super specific, but at least come up with a rough timeline so there are expectations but less pressure.